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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Goals

July 31, 2024 The Power of Forgiveness

As we move through life, we will inevitably deal with less-than-ideal interactions and experiences. Unfortunately, these disagreeable moments have a tendency to stick with us. Studies have revealed that people have a negativity bias, which (it is theorized) is caused by our brain’s tendency to notice things that are dangerous or potentially harmful in order to protect us. So, we often absorb the bad while glossing over the good.

While our negativity bias may be intended to help us, it can also hurt us if we dwell on the negative too long. Being constantly angry, frustrated, or annoyed is damaging on many levels. It can affect our mental and physical wellbeing (elevating heartrates and increasing muscle tension). It can impact our relationships with others. Or, it can impede our ability to be productive and energized.

In my experience, one of the most effective ways of shedding this negativity—and those feelings of anger, frustration, and annoyance—is to practice forgiveness.

You probably encounter dozens of annoying situations every day. Perhaps a co-worker didn’t make a deadline or forgot to schedule an appointment with an important client. Maybe your family has made a mess in the house. Or, maybe the barista behind the counter messed up your order. Whatever the case, we can deal with these situations in two ways:

1) Get angry and hold a grudge

2) Acknowledge the annoyance, move on, and forgive

It’s okay to be temporarily frustrated or upset. It’s fine for your negativity bias to kick in. However, these reactions become problematic when we cling to them too long—when we dwell on them and let them take over our day.

A bit part of moving past a problem involves forgiveness, especially when it comes to little, everyday annoyances. If you do not forgive, you end up wasting a lot of time and energy being mad and stewing over the situation. This isn’t to say you should let bad behavior slide; instead, it’s a good idea to address the problem, forgive, and move on. Take the example of your co-worker missing a deadline.

If a co-worker fails to complete a project on time, that can be incredibly frustrating (especially if it’s an important project OR if this is a common behavior). Instead of seething in your office or complaining to other co-workers, I encourage you to face the problem head on. Talk to the person directly, explain the impact of their actions (on you and the company), and strategize ways to meet future deadlines. If you are a leader and this person is one of your team members, you may also discuss disciplinary actions that will be taken if the problem persists.

Once you’ve worked out a solution, make a conscious effort to forgive that person and move on.

The same actions can be applied in other situations. If the Starbucks barista messes up your order, you can politely approach the window, explain the error, and say that you have no problem waiting for a new coffee. This all boils down to three steps:

1. Come up with a solution

2. Forgive

3. Move on

While your negativity bias is trying to help you, long-term negativity will only harm you. Shed your resentments, do your best to forgive, and keep moving forward. You’ll be happier in the long run, and you’ll feel lighter without the weight of all those grudges.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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July 3, 2024 8 Tricks to Complete that Terrible Task

At one point or another, we’ve all had to deal with tasks that fill us with dread. Maybe this involves having a tough conversation with a co-worker, or maybe it means filling out a long and tedious spreadsheet. Or, it could entail picking up the phone and calling an unpleasant or difficult client. Or, perhaps, this is a simple clerical task that we, for whatever reason, have formed a mental block against.

What is your personal “Mount Everest” right now? What task have you been putting off because the mere thought of it makes your stomach turn or your head hurt?

No matter what terrible task is clogging your to-do list, I believe in your ability to conquer it. Let’s talk about 8 ways to overcome this obstacle:

Block Out Time

Many of us have a full calendar, which can give us an excuse for procrastinating or putting off a difficult task. Because of this, it’s a good idea to specifically carve out time to tackle your “trouble project.” Block off whatever time you need on your calendar and STICK TO IT, just as you would honor a business meeting with a client or co-worker.

Set a Timer

If you’ve set aside time but you’re still having trouble getting started, try setting a timer. Once the timer is going, you’re not allowed to do anything else (check social media, browse online, clean your desk drawer) besides the one, specific task you need to do. If the idea of a timer sounds daunting, try setting it for a short amount of time—say 10 or 15 minutes. The idea is to simply get moving, even for a short while. This can help the task seem less daunting.

Prepare

If you need to engage in a tough conversation or send a difficult email, it is a good idea to prepare. Rehearse what you’re going to say, write out a rough draft, or practice out loud (see my blog post on prepping for tough conversations). If the task involves individual work (say, filling out a tedious spreadsheet), you can prepare by setting up your environment for success. Close your door, put your phone in airplane mode, put on your headphones—whatever will help you concentrate.

Relax

Sometimes the very idea of a certain task can cause stress. To combat heightened stress, try engaging in a relaxing activity before diving in. Try 15 minutes of yoga or stretching, do a crossword puzzle, read a few pages of a book, or go on a brief walk. Then get started!

Talk About It

To help you gain new perspectives, it can be helpful to talk about your assignment with others. You might choose to consult those who are close to the problem—people who understand exactly what you’re up against—or those who are removed from it and will see your situation with fresh eyes. Both types of people have merit and can potentially offer valuable points of view.

Set a Deadline

If your terrible task does not have a firm deadline, set one! Then, commit to sticking to it. This can give you the motivation you need to get rolling and complete your assignment.

Determine a Stick…

What happens if you do not finish your task on time? Or if you fail to work on the project during your allotted time? Figure out a “stick” to motivate yourself. Maybe you’re not allowed to open any social media apps until you’ve completed the task. Or perhaps you’ll opt to cut down your TV time and dedicate that time to your “terrible task.”

…and a Carrot!

Don’t forget to celebrate your victory against the terrible task. Figure out how you will reward yourself for completing this project, and keep that reward in mind as you work. This could be something small (a special dessert, a new book, etc.) or something larger (dinner out, a weekend away), depending on how difficult the task is.

Though it is tempting to continually “kick the can down the road” when it comes to terrible tasks, the reality is, we have to face them eventually. Use these 8 tricks to motivate yourself to complete the project that’s looming over you. Believe me, you’ll feel better once you do.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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June 12, 2024 The Power of Persistence

It is said that a river can cut through a mountain not because of its power, but because of its persistence. Little by little, year after year, the water will eat away at the rock until it carves a path. One has only to look at the Grand Canyon to see how something as ordinary as water can dramatically alter the landscape over time.

There is a lesson in this persistence.

In our modern world, we often want instant gratification or immediate results. We order a package, we get it the next day (or even the same day)! We want a question answered, we pull out our phones and find what we’re looking for. While modern technology can, of course, be a good thing, it has also eroded our patience and persistence. We are not as practiced at having to wait for results, and we may forget the value of persistence when things come too easily. True progress often requires time, effort, and unwavering dedication.

Fortunately, persistence is a skill that can be learned and developed. To start building your own perseverance, I suggest taking some of the following steps:

Set Clear Goals

When you keep your sights set on the end goal, it is easier to stick with the task at hand, no matter how long or tedious. By keeping your goals in mind, you have a constant reminder of why you are persisting. This clarity can help you stay focused and motivated, especially during challenging times.

Break Down Tasks

Sometimes, looking at a large goal can feel overwhelming and lead to procrastination. Breaking it down into smaller, manageable tasks can make the journey seem more achievable.

Celebrate Milestones

Every step forward deserves your acknowledgement and celebration. By taking a brief pause to recognize what you’ve accomplished and how far you’ve come, you give yourself the fuel to keep going, keep persisting. These little celebrations serve as reminders of your progress and keep you motivated along the way.

Seek Support

Surround yourself with people who encourage and uplift you. Having a strong support system can provide the encouragement and motivation needed to continue pushing forward. Whether it’s family, friends, co-workers, or mentors, their support can make a significant difference in your journey to success.

Like a river slowly shaping the land, our consistent actions can lead to significant changes in our lives. Embracing the power of persistence allows us to overcome obstacles, achieve our goals, and ultimately create a lasting impact. Let us remember the wisdom of the river and persist in our pursuits with determination and resilience.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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