Category Archives: Goals
September 28, 2016 Define Success in Your OWN Terms
Most of my work is and has been people-oriented. Professionally, I spent nearly 30 years at 3M, working in various sales leadership positions. Now, I work with a wide range of clients through my career coaching business, UXL. In my personal life, I am involved in my church; I teach spin at the local gym; and I volunteer for several different organizations. Suffice it to say, I’ve met a lot of people through all these different avenues!
Some of the people I’ve met have been very career-oriented, some emphasize family above all else, some prefer spending their free time volunteering in the community and making a difference. Each person has different dreams and goals and different things they consider important. Because of that, how could there possibly be ONE measure of success?
And yet, our culture tends to paint a picture of success with one brush.
We consider a successful American to have a well-paying job, a nice house, a 401K, a loving family. We see wealth and power as the ultimate definitions of success. But that’s not everyone’s definition and shouldn’t be everyone’s definition.
If you define your personal success based on others’ measuring sticks, you’ll be constantly disappointed. What does success mean to YOU? What gives you satisfaction?
The idea of defining your own success really hits home whenever I volunteer at the Peace House, a shelter for troubled women. Many of the residents define success by having the ability to meet their basic needs—having shelter, sufficient food, and love from their families. They strive for independence, a steady income, a job that they enjoy. Some of them aim to get their GED or a certificate in a trade. For them, sales goals, investment portfolios, and owning a yacht are abstract concepts of success. AND THAT’S OKAY.
“But, wait,” you might be thinking, “my definition of success is meeting my sales goals, tucking some money away, and eventually owning a boat!” THAT’S OKAY TOO.
As soon as you figure out what you want out of life, you can work toward it with confidence. Sure, your definition of success may grow and evolve, but it should always reflect your personal ambitions instead of outside pressure to fit into others’ ideas of success.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: career coach Margaret Smith, defining success, definition of success, personal success, success in your own terms, UXL blog, UXL career coaching
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Goals
September 14, 2016 Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
Although we may not pay attention to it most of the time, there is a constant internal voice that runs through everyone’s head. This is the voice that talks to us when we’re bored, tells us to choose the salad (not the soft pretzel!), and reminds us to not bring up politics around Aunt Mary. This unconscious stream of thought can also lift us up and make us feel confident OR cause us to come crashing down and tell us we’re no good.
Which narrative is running through your head?
For many people, the internal voice can be overwhelmingly negative. In the transformative book The Untethered Soul, author Michael Singer talks about this tendency to talk down to ourselves. He describes the voice as your “negative roommate,” the naysayer that is constantly spouting pessimism. Singer advises us to “monitor the roommate” by externalizing it. Give your inner voice a body and start talking back to it!
Although this method of combatting negative self-talk might make you seem a little loony (back-talking to your “roommate” who isn’t physically there!), Singer claims that it is the first step in taming your negative self-talk problem. He says, “If you want to free yourself, you must first become conscious enough to understand your predicament. Then you must commit yourself to the inner work of freedom…as of right now, your life is not your own; it belongs to your inner roommate; the psyche.”
The main lesson here is to be MINDFUL. Be AWARE of the narrative that runs through your head. Pay attention to what your inner voice is saying and when you catch yourself thinking pessimistically, pause. Refocus. Think of the positive side of things instead of focusing on the negative. If your little voice is telling you, “You can’t do it. You will fail during your presentation at today’s meeting.” Tell it, “No, I won’t. I will succeed. I will speak eloquently and clearly; I will keep people engaged.”
Then, repeat. Continue focusing your inner narrative on positive outcomes and you’ll find that it will become second-nature after a while. You’ll begin to be an optimistic person, instead of struggling to become one.
Grab a hold of your life’s narrative and tell it how to behave! That’s the surest way to boost your confidence, reduce stress, and reject toxic negativity. Start back-talking to the nagging negativity in your head and discover what a difference it can make in your life.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: banish negativity, career coach Margaret Smith, embracing positivity, Minneapolis career coach, negative inner voice, negative life narrative, overcome doubt, overcome negative self talk
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Communication, Goals, Personal Branding
August 31, 2016 Resilience (Reflections from Poland)
A couple weeks ago, I spent 15 days in Poland, volunteering for World Youth Day. I took away many incredible lessons, including one that I wrote about last week. This week, I’d like to write about one particular take-away that can be applied to life, in general. That lesson has to do with resilience.
While I was in Poland, the weather was hot and humid. During these muggy days, the group I was with walked anywhere from 5 to 10+ miles on any given day, often in full sunlight. We walked the streets of Krakow, Zakopane, and Warsaw. We walked a 10 mile-long pilgrimage trail to see Pope Frances, and then walked back! We walked to bus stops, on country paths, to dinner…you name it!
Even though some days were physically taxing (especially the pilgrimage to see the Pope; the road was not only long, but packed with thousands of other people!), I didn’t hear a single complaint. Instead, we soldiered on and those who were feeling fine helped those who were having a hard time. I saw some people carrying multiple backpacks in order to give their fellow pilgrims a hand.
It was an astonishing example of resilience.
As I watched all the dedicated people walking down the pilgrim trail, it reminded me that, when inspired, you can do nearly anything. If something means a lot to you—whether in your personal or professional life—you will do whatever it takes to claim it or hold onto it. That’s the nature of resilience—it comes from within.
Next time you feel your resolve faltering, get inspired! Remember why what you’re doing matters. Remind yourself that you are strong and you can push through anything. And, when you do persevere, don’t forget to reward yourself!
And if you’re truly having trouble finding your motivation? That might be an indication that a major life change is in order. But, before making any drastic leaps, try finding a spark of inspiration and calling upon your inner resilience. Your mind is a powerful machine and the more you convince yourself that you CAN do something, the more likely that you’ll actually be able to do it.
March on!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: career coach Margaret Smith, find your motivation, find your resilience, Poland pilgrimage, resilience at work, resilience in personal life, volunteering and resilience, will power to keep going
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- Posted under Changing Your Life, Goals
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