Skip to content

UXL Blog

“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Goals

March 12, 2025 How to Build Your Resilience (4 Ways)

Photo by Jef Willemyns on Unsplash

I’ve talked to many people lately who are feeling anxious, exhausted, or full of trepidation. They are like those old No. 2 pencils that have been used down to the nub. They are so worn down, they feel as if they have nothing left to give. If this is you, then I’m sure you can relate to how hopeless and fatigued you feel when you’re in this state.

Many different aspects of life can make us feel this way. We might be experiencing problems within our families, with friends, or with co-workers. Our issues might be related to finances, or maybe they’re linked to a lack of time and being stretched too thin. Our exhaustion and hopelessness may also be related to the world around us—the troubles facing our nation or the “doom and gloom” we pick up from the news or from social media. All of these factors can have a compounding effect, like rocks piled on top of our shoulders. You might not notice one or two rocks, but as troubles and annoyances pile up, the burden gets heavier and harder to bear.

With so much weight on our backs, how to we keep going? And how can we remove some of those “rocks”? One answer is to build resilience.

Building resilience does not usually happen overnight or all at once. Rather, it is a process that should be nurtured over time. Additionally, we do not have to build resilience on our own. In fact, it is a great idea to lean on your community for support. With that in mind, let’s talk about five ways to build your resilience, so you can weather life’s storms.

Step Away

Being resilient does not necessarily mean you have to fight your way through adverse situations. Rather, it can be beneficial if you take some time to distance yourself from your troubles and reflect. This could mean stepping away from your work laptop, excusing yourself from a stressful situation, or logging off and finding a quiet place to think. Physically moving yourself from one room to another can be helpful and can give you a fresh perspective.

When you step away, I encourage you to consider what is causing your stress or anxiety. What is the source? Is there anything you can do to remove or reduce this source? Can you make any changes in the immediate future that will alleviate some of your pressure or give you a break? Stepping away can give you much-needed distance to mull over solutions.

Take Meaningful Breaks

Sometimes we can be resilient through pure willpower and grit but, to me, that is not a long-term solution. When you’re worn thin, you need some time to recuperate, relax, and reenergize. You won’t be at your best if you are completely exhausted, so why not take a break and give yourself a little TLC? Keep in mind, some breaks are better than others. If you take your work laptop with you on a weekend getaway, or if you’re constantly doomscrolling during a vacation, are you really helping your wellbeing? I encourage you to unplug, distance yourself from your stressors, and take a meaningful break.

Log Off

Today, it is far too easy to get sucked into the barrage of “doom and gloom” posts and videos on social media and clickbait “news.” I’m not suggesting you bury your head in the sand and ignore the world around you, but I am suggesting that you limit your exposure to anxiety-inducing news and events. After all, what do you gain by scrolling through your feed and feeling an ever-building sense of dread? Instead, try the following:

  • Give yourself a social media time limit
  • Prioritize reputable news sources
  • Limit your exposure to emotionally charged podcasts or news shows
  • Log off!

Bonus: If you would truly like to disconnect, perhaps sign up for Vox’s newsletter called “The Logoff.” This daily newsletter delivers one concise news story, followed by an uplifting fact or link to a positive story.

Reach Out

Your community is vital when it comes to building resilience. If you have people in your life whom you can trust, confide in, and lean on when times are tough, you will feel much better equipped to weather any troubles that life throws your way. The National Resilience Strategy, put together by the White House on January 18th, 2025, details ways that communities and social circles play a crucial role in resilience. It calls these relationships “foundational” and “essential,” and says they “benefit all systems and should be valued and supported by all sectors to advance resilience.” In short, community matters.

If you’re feeling bone-tired and anxious lately, it may be a good idea to start building your resilience. Take breaks when needed, step away to re-strategize, and limit your exposure to negative or sensational news and social media. And don’t forget to ask for support along the way. You do not need to build your resilience on your own.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , ,

January 8, 2025 Making a Fresh Start (Even When You’re Not Feeling So Fresh!)

It’s here: another new year and another (supposedly) clean slate. This is when people make New Year’s resolutions to hit the gym, eat healthier, limit screen time, and finally learn how to bake sourdough bread. But sometimes, those resolutions fall flat. Sometimes, they feel forced rather than genuine. How can you possibly start fresh when you don’t feel fresh?

You might not be feeling “fresh and new” for a variety of reasons. Maybe some of your troubles and projects from last year have carried over into this year. Maybe you’re dealing with ongoing interpersonal issues, tough family dynamics, or personal health struggles. Whatever the case, it can be difficult to adopt a positive attitude and step into the brand-new year with untarnished hope and energy.

If this sounds like you, I have a few thoughts about how to move past this sticking point—how to make the new year at least feel fresh, even when life is dragging you down. Let’s talk about a few logical steps you can take:

Acknowledge Obstacles Honestly

It is essential to give life’s obstacles and troubles some thought if you want to move beyond them. I suggest setting aside some time to honestly reflect on what is holding you back this year. Is a certain work project keeping you up at night? Are relationships between yourself and a family member or friend tense right now? Are you troubled by national or global issues? Once you recognize what is truly keeping you from starting fresh, you can begin to figure out ways to either overcome these setbacks OR learn to work with them.

Think Big-Picture…

Once you have a good grasp of what is holding you back, it’s a good idea to take a step back and think about the bigger picture. How important is it to overcome the obstacle? Can you overcome it? Or do you need to learn how to carry on, despite some discomfort or anxiety (in which case, it may be wise to chat with a mental health professional)? When looking at the big picture, you can begin to prioritize tackling the most pressing issues and creating strategies for dealing with them.

…But Start Small

Sometimes it can seem completely daunting to deal with a big issue that is holding you back. If that’s how you’re feeling about a certain obstacle, I encourage you to start small. Think about five bite-sized actions you can take to move the needle in a positive direction. These actions could include:

  • Sending an email you’ve been putting off
  • Placing a phone call to a co-worker, friend, or family member
  • Scheduling a meeting
  • Engaging in a half-hour planning or brainstorming session
  • Organizing and prioritizing a stack of papers
  • Adding information to a spreadsheet

What tiny actions could you add to this week’s to-do list?

Seek Support

If you’re feeling less than your best, don’t be afraid to reach out to loved ones, a therapist, or other trusted resources for support. Sharing your struggles and aspirations with others can provide valuable perspectives and help you feel less alone as you figure out how to move forward. Far too often, we believe we can (and should) shoulder all of life’s difficulties by ourselves, but that can lead to burnout, frustration, exhaustion, or resentment. I urge you to ask for help if and when you need it.

Though you may not be feeling “daisy fresh” at the start of the new year, it is possible to move forward in a positive and productive manner. Try some of these strategies and do your best to cultivate a positive mindset by practicing gratitude and focusing on the things you can control. Remember: you are not perfect, and no slate is ever truly clean. We can only do our best and use the tools at our disposal.

Here’s to the best new year you can manage, even if it’s not perfect!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , , ,

December 18, 2024 When a Change is on the Horizon

Limited Time Offer: My online leadership course is on sale for $98. Enjoy the “Invest in YOU” discount.

For the past couple of years, I have been toying with the idea of retirement. However, whenever I think my plan is in place and I’m ready to begin heading toward the “off ramp,” I gain a new client or speaking gig, or an exciting new opportunity lands in my inbox. So, I delay a while longer. However, a part of me is realistic about the inevitable path ahead, so I’m taking actions that will help me when this moment of transition comes: I’m observing, listening, and learning from others.

Technically, I retired once already when I left my leadership role at 3M. That time was different, though, because I was still fairly young and had some vague plans for starting a second career—the coaching business that became UXL. This time feels more final.

So, what have I learned from observing and listening to those who have made a leap into retirement? These are a few of my takeaways:

Reframe Your Identity

For many of us, our identity is closely tied to our work. When you meet someone new, it’s common to ask, “What do you do?” Once you retire, that question can seem daunting or even embarrassing. No one wants to say, “Well, I used to be…” You can, however, take ownership of your identity and reframe it. For example, instead of saying “I’m retired,” you could say, “I volunteer at the local animal shelter and am spearheading a project focused on children’s literacy.” This allows you to focus on the activities and interests that are important to you, rather than defining yourself by what you used to do. Embracing a new identity can help you feel more purposeful and engaged in this next chapter of your life.

Find Your Community

When you step away from a workplace, you end up losing an entire group of people that you regularly see. This may leave a gap in your social life, and you might feel like you’re missing something, especially if you regularly interacted with your work team or colleagues. Building a community outside of the office is essential. These could be friends, a book club, a community volunteer group, a church committee, or any type of organization that allows you to connect with others. Finding ways to build new relationships and stay socially engaged can help ease the transition into retirement.

Maintain a Routine

Many retirees find that maintaining a routine is crucial for their well-being. Without the structure of a traditional workday, it’s easy to feel adrift. Establishing a daily or weekly schedule can provide a sense of purpose and help you stay productive. This could include exercising, pursuing hobbies, volunteering, or even scheduling regular social activities. Maintaining a routine can help you feel grounded and prevent boredom or a sense of aimlessness. Additionally, I’ve learned that it’s important to leave room for spontaneity and flexibility, so you don’t feel overly constrained.

Stay Active and Engaged

Keeping your mind and body active is crucial. Retirement is an opportunity to explore new interests and expand your knowledge. Consider taking classes, attending lectures, or pursuing hobbies you’ve always wanted to try. It’s also a good idea to stay in motion, which might mean pursuing an active hobby like hiking, cycling, or swimming. Staying engaged can help prevent boredom, provide opportunities to learn something new, and help you stay active and physically fit.

Embrace Flexibility and Adaptability

As you navigate retirement, be open to embracing change and adapting to new circumstances. Your plans and expectations may evolve over time, and it’s important to remain flexible. Be willing to try new things, explore new possibilities, and adjust your routines as needed. Retirement is a journey, and being adaptable will help you make the most of this new chapter.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, so be patient with yourself as you navigate this transition. With an open mindset and a willingness to try new things, you can create a fulfilling and meaningful retirement that aligns with your values and interests.

These are just a few of my observations and learnings from people who are thriving in retirement. To me, it is mainly important to maintain an open mindset, have patience, and allow your retirement years to take whatever shape they will. Retirement is not a singular destination, but a dynamic journey that evolves over time. Someday in the not-so-distant future, I will embark on this journey too…but not quite yet.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , , ,