Category Archives: Communication
April 22, 2015 The Danger of Being a “Yes Person”
It’s easy to say yes. We naturally aim to please our co-workers and supervisors; we want to look good in the eyes of the company and get that raise or earn that promotion. But saying yes can be dangerous. If you say yes to everything—every assignment, every request, every invitation—you’ll end up stretching yourself too thin and you’ll possibly end up taking on work that isn’t in your sweet spot or doing things that go against your code of ethics. Here are three scenarios where you should say NO (accompanied by three strategies to pull it off):
1. You have too much on your plate.
If you feel your workload growing out of control and you can tell the quality of your work is sharply declining, it’s time to say no. How to do it? The next time your project leader tries to assign you something new, do not immediately say yes. Arrange to meet one-on-one (it is much easier to reason with someone one-on-one than in a group) and lay out your reasons for not wanting to take on the project.
Be prepared. Make a spreadsheet that clearly displays what projects you are currently tackling and how much time you spend each day on each project. Also, come into the meeting with a counter-proposal in mind. If you know of someone else who might have the capacity (and desire) to take on the project, suggest that person to your project leader or, alternatively, suggest a future date that you might be able to start the project (i.e. “I’m busy from now until the end of the May, but I could start tackling this project in June.”)
2. You are being given work that is not in your “sweet spot.”
This is a tough one, but ultimately, if you are constantly handed work that does not align with your areas of expertise, you are doing both your company and yourself a disservice. Your company won’t receive the best work it could receive and you’ll be straying from your career goals. So, how to say no? Again, a one-on-one meeting with your supervisor is helpful in this situation. Explain to her what your ultimate goals are and what kind of projects you prefer. One of the best things you can do in this situation is approach it with confidence and decisiveness. Know where you’d like to be heading and explain, confidently, how you’d like to get there.
Ultimately, if your company is not supportive of your career goals (or if you find that the type of work you do constantly does not align with your sweet spot), it is time to start searching for something new, either inside or outside your current company.
3. Saying yes compromises your values.
There are times when it just does not feel good to say yes. Perhaps you agree to attend a late-night strategy session, knowing that your daughter has a piano recital that night. Or perhaps a co-worker dumps several assignments on your lap that are really her responsibility, not yours. Or maybe you’ve had to sacrifice your health or nightly down-time because of all the projects you’ve agreed to do. Whatever the case, sometimes saying yes is simply not the right decision. How to say no? First of all, know your priorities. Does your family come first? Your health? Your mental wellbeing? When one of the things that’s important in your life becomes compromised, it’s time to say no. Keep an open line of communication with your boss and let him know when you feel like work is tipping the scales of your work-life balance. And another thing: think before you say yes. Always take a moment to pause, assess the situation, and make a deliberate decision. If that means waiting a day or two to mull over the pros and cons, so be it. Ultimately, you need to feel good about agreeing to do something before you say “yes.”
Tags: don't always say yes, don't be a yes man, don't be a yes person, the courage to say no, the danger of being a yes person
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Communication, Thrive at Work
April 8, 2015 Authenticity in the Workplace
In this short video, I talk about what it truly means to be an authentic leader. I address why it’s important to lead with meaning, purpose, and values and how self-awareness comes into play. Don’t forget: your authentic self if great! You don’t have to compromise your values to be a strong, capable leader.
If you’d like a more in-depth study of authentic leadership, my book, The Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge, has an entire chapter devoted to this topic.
Thanks for watching!
Tags: Authenticity in the workplace, authenticity video, Margaret Smith, the ten-minute leadership challenge, your authentic self
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Better Business, Communication, Leadership, Thrive at Work
April 1, 2015 Are You an Ambivert?
It is easy to pigeonhole people. It’s easy to say, “You’re like this,” “I’m like that,” “You behave like this…” But the effects this type of stereotyping can have on people can damage a person’s confidence or might inhibit their growth. One of the most common ways we think about others is labeling them as an introvert or an extrovert. We generally think of extraverts as boisterous, open, and social and think of introverts as quiet, secretive, and reclusive. But are people really either one thing or the other?
Definitely not. Even the acclaimed psychologist, Carl Jung, identified a third personality type: the ambivert. He said this group is “the most numerous and includes the less differentiated normal man.”
An ambivert is someone who is socially flexible and attempts to strike a balance between extraversion and introversion. Ambiverts adapt to different situations in the way they think is best—either with an introverted or extraverted tilt. Additionally, they often have a healthy emotional balance that extreme extroverts or introverts sometimes lack.
Ambiverts can also be more successful in sales. According to Adam M. Grant, author of the research paper Rethinking the Extraverted Sales Ideal: The Ambivert Advantage, “Ambiverts achieve greater sales productivity than extraverts or introverts do…Because they naturally engage in a flexible pattern of talking and listening, ambiverts are likely to express sufficient assertiveness and enthusiasm to persuade and close a sale but are more inclined to listen to customers’ interests and less vulnerable to appearing too excited or overconfident.”
As an Insights® Discovery practitioner, I appreciate the term ambivert. One of the great things about Insights®(a personality and behavioral assessment based on the studies of Carl Jung) is that it takes into account human adaptability and dynamism. We might have good days and bad days; we might react one way at a social gathering and another way in an office setting; we might feel extraverted in some situations and introverted in others. Although, according to Insights®, we may “lead” with a certain personality, we all have the capability to embody other personalities as well. (If you’re curious about how Insights® can lead to better inter-office relationships and improved communication, contact me anytime).
So, what do you think? Are you an ambivert?
Tags: ambiverts and communication, ambiverts and sales, are you an ambivert, Margaret Smith, UXL
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- Posted under Communication, Tips for Improving Interactions
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