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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Changing Your Life

December 28, 2022 4 Factors That Interrupt Relaxation

Happy holidays! Many people try to relax during this time of year—perhaps attending holiday gatherings or taking a vacation. But many of us struggle with truly relaxing. Modern life has a way of moving quickly…even when you’re trying to slow down.

According to the Center for Integrated Healthcare, there are numerous benefits of deep relaxation. These include reduced anxiety, improved sleep, better concentration, and even improved digestion. But how do you get into a state of relaxation when so many things are vying for your time and attention?

This week, let’s talk about 4 factors that tend to derail relaxation, and how to prevent them from doing so.

1. Notifications

Picture this: You’ve settled in at the dinner table and you’re about to eat a relaxing, homecooked meal with your family. Then, your phone dings and you see that someone has commented on a picture you posted on Instagram. You start dishing up your plate, but your phone dings again. This time, it’s giving you an update on your favorite sports team. Ding! You have a Twitter notification. Ding! An eBook on your wish list is on sale.

Before you know it, your mind is caught up in all the activity on your phone. You’re distracted, and your family dinner no longer feels relaxing. You want to hurry up and get through it so you can attend to all these notifications.

Few things clamor for our attention like our phones. The average person will pick up their phone 58 times per day. It’s clear phones have us on a tight leash!

To combat the pressure to always pick up your phone, try some of the following tactics:

  • Turn off app notifications
  • Periodically put your phone in airplane mode
  • Use an app to track screen time (this will help put things in perspective!)

2. Emails

For many of us, emails take up a large portion of the day. We see an email come in, and we’re immediately pressured to respond. Even if we choose to ignore an email for a while, we know it’s there, hanging out in the back of our minds.

I urge you to set healthy boundaries by taking control of your email. You might choose to only check and reply to email 2-3 times per day. Or you can set a firm “cut off” point (say 5:30 p.m.) where you mute your inbox and step away from emails.

3. Poor Sleep

It’s tough to feel fully relaxed if you’re lacking in the sleep department. Unfortunately, many of us struggle with catching enough zzz’s, and that can make everything more difficult. You can’t be the best version of yourself if you’re running on four hours of sleep and an abundance of caffeine.

To practice good sleep hygiene, try the following best practices:

  • Shut off all screens one hour before bedtime
  • If you’re using screens at night, use blue-light filtering glasses
  • Limit alcohol intake
  • Don’t eat immediately before bedtime
  • Remove screens (like TVs) from your bedroom
  • Invest in a good pillow that fits your sleep style (side, back, etc.)

4. Over-Planning

If you’ve over-planned a holiday, it can be difficult to find the relaxation amidst the bustle. You might end up feeling like you need a vacation from your vacation! (See my past blog post on planning a relaxing vacation.)

If you can’t help your planning tendencies, try adding downtime into your schedule of events. Though it may seem strange, it can be immensely helpful to set aside “do nothing” time. This will essentially give you permission to relax, unwind, and go with the flow. You can fill this space if you want, but there’s no pressure to be up and about, doing things. Instead, grab a book, play a game, take a walk, or simply enjoy being present.

Even in our busy, distraction-filled lives, it is possible to relax. Take control of your schedule (and your phone!), don’t over-plan, and focus on being present. You’ve earned it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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October 12, 2022 The 5-Minute Anti-Procrastination Technique

When you’re faced with a task that you’d rather not do, procrastination is the easiest thing in the world. You suddenly find a thousand ways to keep busy that are not the task at hand. You might clean out your email spam folder, work on a low-priority project, browse social media, or do the dishes/laundry/dusting (if you work from home). We’ve all been there!

It can be extremely difficult to overcome the mental barriers we tend to put up for ourselves. We see the undesirable task as a 20-foot wall, and we know it will take a huge amount of effort to even begin climbing.

What to do?

One method you could try is a simple 5-minute technique for combatting procrastination. This method involves confronting the task and saying to yourself, “Okay, I’m going to do it for just five minutes. That’s all I’m obligated to do right now.”

Then, you get started.

The reason this very easy method works is because we can do just about anything for five minutes. Whether you’re tackling a tedious task, writing an email you’d rather not send, calling a difficult client, or writing the first sentence of a very long report, five minutes is doable.

And, here’s the thing: Once you get started, you might find yourself spending 10, 15, or 20 minutes (or more!) on the assignment. The key is getting started. This is the same mentality as putting on your gym clothes to motivate yourself to work out. Getting dressed and lacing up your shoes is a huge part of the battle. You’re starting your engine, you’re making an effort, and hopefully these small initial actions will give you the momentum you need to get going and follow through on the rest of your task.

The “just five minutes” approach will also help you become less intimidated by large projects. There’s no pressure to do everything right now. You just have to get started and begin chipping away at it. This is a great approach to goal-setting, in general. It’s easy to become intimidated by large projects or lofty objectives, but if you break them down into bite-sized pieces, set goals for reaching those mile markers, and keep chipping away (and occasionally rewarding yourself for progress!), you’ll eventually reach your goal. As they say, a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

The next time you’re feeling burnt out, stressed, or reluctant to work on a particular project, try the five-minute technique. Set aside this time, commit to do nothing else but the work (no checking your phone!), and dive in. Setting a timer could work for some, but it might feel like a “hard stopping point” for others (which could stifle momentum).

Adapt the technique in a way that works for you, and get started! You might be surprised by how much you can accomplish in five minutes–and how that five-minute push was just the thing to drive you forward.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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August 31, 2022 Act! (Even if the Conditions Aren’t Perfect)

We’re told to “make hay when the sun shines,” but what if the sun never comes out? What if conditions remain overcast, at best? Sometimes, we have to adapt, re-strategize, and move forward anyway. Sometimes, we simply have to act.

Rarely will conditions be 100 percent perfect. If you’re looking for an excuse to put something off, chances are you’ll find it. There’s always a reason to not take on that challenging work project, write your novel, have a child, travel abroad, start your own business…the list goes on. Sometimes, you just have to jump in with both feet and figure things out as you go.

Additionally, it’s impossible to plan for every bump in the road. You will run into unexpected obstacles, experience temporary setbacks and all-out failures, and take unexpected twists. When this happens, it’s import to roll with the punches and adopt a growth mindset (more on growth mindsets in last week’s post).

When you’re on the brink of a major decision or action, try to keep the following 8 tidbits in mind:

  • Progress is not achieved through inaction.
  • You can still succeed if conditions are not perfect.
  • Others have risen above adversity when the odds were stacked against them. For example: After someone stole his shoes, Native American track and field legend, Jim Thorpe, found two shoes (of different sizes) in a trash bin, put them on, and won two Olympic gold medals.
  • No one achieves greatness or makes positive change through inaction.
  • Your actions don’t have to be unsupported. Leverage whatever resources (others’ expertise, databases, classes, grants, a mentor’s advice, etc.) are at your disposal.
  • You are adaptable and resilient enough to overcome adversity or setbacks.
  • Inaction is often just an excuse; don’t give in to your fears!
  • It’s okay to figure things out as you go.

If you are delaying taking action on something, I urge you to ask yourself why. Face your trepidations, strategize as best you can, and jump in! You’ll rarely find the perfect conditions to act, so you might as well plow ahead using whatever resources are available. Even if things don’t turn out as expected, you can still hold your head high knowing you had the courage to act.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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