Skip to content

UXL Blog

“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Better Business

October 8, 2025 Why to Promote Positive Gossip

woman in teal t-shirt sitting beside woman in suit jacket
Photo by Amy Hirschi on Unsplash

Office gossip can be a problem. If people are constantly belittling or criticizing others behind their backs, that can lead to a toxic and unwelcoming environment. No one wants to feel as if they have to constantly be on guard around their co-workers, lest they become the next subject of the workplace rumor mill. As a leader, your first inclination might be to shut down office gossip entirely. But what if I told you that might not be the best approach?

It’s Tough to Battle Human Nature

Human beings are naturally social creatures, and it’s exceedingly difficult to fully shut down the gossip pipeline. Our tendency to talk about others is part of what makes us human. We like to be kept in the loop, hear the latest news, and be part of the circle that’s “in the know.”

This can be especially true for those who are more social and extroverted. Their dynamics with other people are part of their core identity, and it’s important to be part of the office “connective tissue.” Looking at this through an Insights® Discovery lens, these individuals may lead with yellow or red energy. These two personality types are defined by extroversion, overt communication, and relationships with others (often more collaborative for “yellow energy” folks and more hierarchal for “red energy” folks).

For many offices, with their wide array of personalities and tendencies, stopping gossip and chitchat is like trying to dam a roaring river with only a few sticks. Rather than fight human nature, it is a good idea to try a different approach.

Promoting Positive Gossip

Rather than prohibit gossip, full stop, it’s possible to approach gossip differently. If people are going to talk about each other no matter what, why not put a positive spin on it? Encourage the good kind of gossip—the kind that compliments and uplifts others, and praises their actions.

The easiest and most natural way to promote this type of gossip is to model it. When you encounter a team member in the hallway or are having a one-on-one conversation on Zoom, throw in a compliment or two about other teammates:

“It’s a good thing Marissa is so on top of deadlines. That’s really helping us reach our client goals this quarter.”

“Ari is so creative. Did you hear his ideas in the last brainstorming session?”

“Juana is working so hard lately, even though I know she’s juggling work with childcare.”

When you bring up these types of compliments, make sure they naturally fit the flow of the conversation and come across as sincere. Make them part of your everyday discussions, and soon they will become second nature.

The other part of this effort is flipping negative gossip into positive statements. If, for example, someone complains about Juana missing the last deadline, you might say, “That is frustrating. However, I’ve talked with her and I know she’s juggling childcare with work. Because of that, she is working harder than ever lately, which is pretty admirable.” It’s possible to turn an office that engages in negative gossip into one that emphasizes the positive. Take it one conversation at a time, making sure you’re modeling the type of behavior you want your team to embody. After all, the river of gossip may want to keep flowing, but you can direct it into more positive territory, rather than attempting to stop it completely.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , ,

September 10, 2025 When Inviting Disagreement is a Good Thing

hands gesturing over a wooden table with a laptop and notebook on it that blurs into the distance
Photo by Headway on Unsplash

Leaders are taught to be confident and in charge. These can be great attributes, and it certainly doesn’t serve to be timid or self-conscious, but it’s possible to take these traits to an extreme. When that happens, the leader can inadvertently shut down others, which can stifle innovation and creativity, as well as decrease morale. 

It may seem strange to welcome disagreement as a leader. After all, who likes to argue? But this is really just another way of saying that discussion, input, and alternative perspectives are welcome. A leader might think they’re being strong and efficient by putting forth a single plan and instructing their team on how to follow it. But in truth, they are closing the door on collaboration. 

When teams collaborate to create a solution or come up with a plan, a few things happen. First, more voices are heard right away, which increases the chance of greater innovation and ingenuity. Additionally, when groups can have open discussions, they’re more likely to troubleshoot and catch potential problems before they even occur. And once a plan is agreed on, the team has more buy-in than they would if they simply had been handed a plan by the team leader. 

  • How can you facilitate discussion and encourage productive disagreement? Open the floor by using statements that welcome collaborative planning. 
  • Our annual budget is due next week. I was ready to make the same suggestions as last year, but I’d like your input on this. What haven’t I considered? 
  • The holiday party is coming up. What would your ideal event look like? 
  • We’re trying to tap into new customer markets. Instead of using the same methods, I’d love to hear your perspectives and ideas on what we could be doing. 

Additionally, if you do decide to state your opinion or perspective, make it clear that you’re open to other options. Use phrases like:

  • I welcome your input
  • What do others think?
  • What haven’t I thought of?
  • Is there any aspect of this that doesn’t make sense?
  • What improvements or alternatives would you suggest?

Then, make sure you are truly listening to suggestions and open to other viewpoints and ideas.

Leadership involves a certain amount of confidence, but that doesn’t mean bulldozing your team with set ideas and rigid agendas. The most effective leaders open the floor for discussion and respect all ideas, even allowing room for disagreement. 

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , ,

August 6, 2025 The Courage to Ask for What You Want

As a career coach, I’ve talked with many people who have expressed disappointment about not getting what they wanted in their professions. They didn’t get the raise, the promotion, or the project they wanted. They were passed over for a team leader role or to organize a committee. But when I inquired about whether they asked for these things, I’m usually met with blank stares or questions. “Ask for a raise? I can do that?” Yes, and you should.

Why Ask

In the business world, many of us are either indirect or we assume it isn’t proper to ask for something like a promotion. I agree that this isn’t something to do lightly, and it should be approached with a certain amount of grace and tact, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Managers, supervisors, and C-suite executives are often busy people. They may be in charge of large teams, and they might not be the best at keeping track of their people’s aspirations and abilities. When you ask for something, that gets the attention of your higher-ups. Suddenly, you’re on their radar, and you are seen as someone with initiative and motivation. Additionally, your manager will know exactly what you’re aiming for; they’ll gain a crystal-clear understanding of your aspirations. Those are all compelling reasons to ask for what you want, but how do you do it in a way that doesn’t come across as aggressive or pushy?

How to Ask Tactfully 

When it comes to putting forth what you want from your career, it’s best to have a strategy. Think about what you will say, how you will say it, and the circumstances in which you will deliver your ask. I suggest aiming for the following: 

Choose a One-on-One Setting 

Private meetings are best for big asks. Asking for a raise or a change in roles in front of a group is awkward and tacky, and it puts your team leader on the spot. Instead, plan to give your ask during a one-on-one meeting. If you do not have one set up, request one. 

Work it in Naturally 

To avoid conversational whiplash, do your best to deliver your ask at a natural moment. If you are talking about a current project, you might say: “I’ve actually been thinking about this project a lot and wondering if my performance and results have been enough to earn me a promotion. Would you be open to talking about that?”

Build Your Case 

Enter the conversation armed with relevant information. If you have performed well in a recent initiative, received a positive review, made a measurable contribution, or did something else of note recently, be prepared to talk about it in specific details. Referring back to the example involving a recent project, you might say something like: “I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to review our team project on X, but I’m happy with the results. On an individual level, I came up with a solution that increased customer purchases of Y product by 18%.”

Practice Your Pitch

It can be awkward asking for what you want. To avoid stumbling over your words, try rehearsing what you’d like to say in the mirror or with a partner. Practice until it feels natural. 

Open the Door for Dialogue

When you make your ask, it’s a good idea to present it as something that warrants further discussion. Make it clear that you do not require an immediate answer (no one likes being put on the spot), but also convey that you’d like to talk about the situation in more depth. After you’ve built your case, you could say something like: “Would you be willing to discuss the possibility of a pay raise?” OR: “Given my evolving skill set, are you open to discussing a shift in my role and daily responsibilities?”

Asking for what you want takes courage, but I suggest taking the leap and doing it. Just make sure you properly prepare and approach the ask with as much grace and strategy as possible. Oftentimes in life, we do not get what we do not ask for.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , , ,