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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

June 3, 2015 Stop Scripting

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.” -Bertrand Russell

It’s the voice you hear in your head. The nagging inner-critic that I like to call your “saboteur.” Many of us deal with this voice on a regular basis. Your saboteur may tell you things like:

“You’re not good enough.”

“No one should listen to you.”

“You’re not qualified to do the job.”

“You don’t have any good ideas.”

STOP! That voice is only holding you back and stifling your growth. When we predict the outcome of something before it happens, that’s called scripting, and it usually does us more harm than good. You CAN overcome this self-doubt hanging over your shoulder. Follow these five steps to stop scripting and start being the leader you know you are:

  1. Stop fearing what you can’t control.
  2. Get out of everyone else’s head. People aren’t thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are.
  3. Be present. Put your best foot forward; listen to body language.
  4. Have fun. Put your energy into doing something you love.
  5. Don’t fight your compass. Self-doubt and scripting of others’ thoughts can interfere with your inner compass or guide. Be confident and listen to your intuition.

You have the power to step up and make bold, positive strides at work. When you shed your inner saboteur, your self-confident, capable self will shine through and others will take notice.

For more guidance, please feel free to contact me today.

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April 29, 2015 The Best Career Advice EVER

People can be full of advice. “Do this,” “do that,” “this worked for me,” “this didn’t work for me.” Sometimes it’s difficult to sort the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. For the most part, you simply have to forge ahead and use your best judgment. But sometimes, others will give you truly valuable gems that you should take to heart.

One of the best pieces of career advice I ever received was ask good questions. Try to ask three questions at every important meeting: one that shows support, one to gain clarity on the subject, and one to demonstrate inclusionary behavior (helping to involve others in the room in the discussion). Asking good questions not only helps to gather information, it also demonstrates that you are an active, interested, and inclusionary employee. Additionally, you’ll be seen as a fair leader–someone who wants others voices to be heard, as well as their own.

Another great piece of advice I’ve received? Stay relevant. Know what’s important to the organization, the market, the customers. Study and stay abreast of industry happenings and innovations, strategies, issues and concerns…then look for solutions and speak up! Show that you’re interested in your job and are striving to be the best you can be by constantly learning and seeking new, salient information.

What are some of the best pieces of career advice you’ve received? Has anything really stuck with you and helped you either advance in your career or guided you through career challenges? I’m interested to hear from you! Leave a comment below and let’s start a friendly, valuable discussion.

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April 22, 2015 The Danger of Being a “Yes Person”

It’s easy to say yes. We naturally aim to please our co-workers and supervisors; we want to look good in the eyes of the company and get that raise or earn that promotion. But saying yes can be dangerous. If you say yes to everything—every assignment, every request, every invitation—you’ll end up stretching yourself too thin and you’ll possibly end up taking on work that isn’t in your sweet spot or doing things that go against your code of ethics. Here are three scenarios where you should say NO (accompanied by three strategies to pull it off):

1. You have too much on your plate.

If you feel your workload growing out of control and you can tell the quality of your work is sharply declining, it’s time to say no. How to do it? The next time your project leader tries to assign you something new, do not immediately say yes. Arrange to meet one-on-one (it is much easier to reason with someone one-on-one than in a group) and lay out your reasons for not wanting to take on the project.

Be prepared. Make a spreadsheet that clearly displays what projects you are currently tackling and how much time you spend each day on each project. Also, come into the meeting with a counter-proposal in mind. If you know of someone else who might have the capacity (and desire) to take on the project, suggest that person to your project leader or, alternatively, suggest a future date that you might be able to start the project (i.e. “I’m busy from now until the end of the May, but I could start tackling this project in June.”)

2. You are being given work that is not in your “sweet spot.”

This is a tough one, but ultimately, if you are constantly handed work that does not align with your areas of expertise, you are doing both your company and yourself a disservice. Your company won’t receive the best work it could receive and you’ll be straying from your career goals. So, how to say no? Again, a one-on-one meeting with your supervisor is helpful in this situation. Explain to her what your ultimate goals are and what kind of projects you prefer. One of the best things you can do in this situation is approach it with confidence and decisiveness. Know where you’d like to be heading and explain, confidently, how you’d like to get there.

Ultimately, if your company is not supportive of your career goals (or if you find that the type of work you do constantly does not align with your sweet spot), it is time to start searching for something new, either inside or outside your current company.

3. Saying yes compromises your values.

There are times when it just does not feel good to say yes. Perhaps you agree to attend a late-night strategy session, knowing that your daughter has a piano recital that night. Or perhaps a co-worker dumps several assignments on your lap that are really her responsibility, not yours. Or maybe you’ve had to sacrifice your health or nightly down-time because of all the projects you’ve agreed to do. Whatever the case, sometimes saying yes is simply not the right decision. How to say no? First of all, know your priorities. Does your family come first? Your health? Your mental wellbeing? When one of the things that’s important in your life becomes compromised, it’s time to say no. Keep an open line of communication with your boss and let him know when you feel like work is tipping the scales of your work-life balance. And another thing: think before you say yes. Always take a moment to pause, assess the situation, and make a deliberate decision. If that means waiting a day or two to mull over the pros and cons, so be it. Ultimately, you need to feel good about agreeing to do something before you say “yes.”

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