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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

July 23, 2025 What is Collective Grief? (and how could it be affecting you)

Grief is a complex emotion. Although it is often associated with bereavement and death, it can crop up in several other ways. You can grieve a former job, a house or city where you used to live, or a former lifestyle you once had. The common thread is loss. To make matters more complicated, grief can be a collective experience. 

What is Collective Grief? 

Collective grief is a term used to describe the sentiment of loss as experienced by a group of people. The group can be quite large (i.e. an entire nation) or smaller (a family or community group). Collective grief is often associated with a major tragedy or difficulty—a natural disaster, war, financial turmoil, a pandemic, etc. This type of upheaval can result in a sense of loss, or the feeling that things will never be the same. 

If you are an empathetic person, you do not necessarily have to experience a certain tragedy or its side effects firsthand to go through grief or loss. For example, you might mourn the loss of a city that was decimated by an earthquake, or you may grieve for the families of those who have been jailed or deported. This type of grief isn’t any less valid. It just means you’re human, and you care for your fellow human beings. 

Collective grief can be powerful and long-lasting. Furthermore, it’s possible to experience this type of grief without even realizing it. 

How Collective Grief Can Show Up in Your Life 

When you’ve been affected by an event or a change, your behavior or outlook may be altered, whether subtly or overt. Here are five ways you might manifest collective grief in everyday life:

  1. Difficulty Concentrating

When you’re enduring grief, you may find your attention wandering or have difficulty focusing on tasks. This can be exacerbated during times of collective grief, as the weight of the situation can feel overwhelming.

  1. Increased Irritability

Grief can make you feel on edge, causing you to snap at loved ones or co-workers more easily. This short temper may be a way of coping with the underlying emotional turmoil. The important thing is to recognize when you’re behaving irrationally, so you can make a concerted effort to amend this behavior.

  1. Changes in Sleep or Appetite

You may find yourself sleeping more or less than usual, or experiencing a loss of appetite. These physiological changes are the body’s way of dealing with the stress of grief. Again, awareness is key. If you’re noticing changes in sleep or appetite, it’s a good idea to address these issues head on (possibly with the guidance and support of a professional).

  1. Decreased Productivity

During periods of collective grief, you may find it harder to complete tasks or maintain your usual level of productivity. This can stem from the emotional and mental drain that comes with processing widespread loss or upheaval. It’s important to be patient with yourself during these times.

  1. Feeling Hopeless or Downtrodden

When experiencing collective grief, you may find yourself feeling defeated or hopeless, as the magnitude of the situation can feel overwhelming. This sense of despair can make it difficult to see a path forward. It’s important to remember that these feelings are a natural response to loss and change, and that with time and self-compassion, they will eventually subside.

The experience of collective grief can be isolating, as the loss or upheaval may be felt by a large group, yet each person’s individual response can vary. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are a natural reaction and to seek support from others who may be going through a similar process. By acknowledging the collective nature of the grief, individuals can find solace in the shared experience and work towards healing together. Reaching out to a mental health professional or joining a support group can provide valuable tools for navigating the complexities of collective grief.

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July 9, 2025 5 Ways to Become More Optimistic

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

It isn’t always easy to be an optimist. Sometimes life, and the world around us, seems grim and difficult. We’re bombarded with bad news, tough circumstances, and dire predictions. We go through hard situations like health scares, financial difficulty, and loss. But through it all, some people manage to stay optimistic.

When it’s easy to be cynical or downtrodden, the optimist resolutely seeks the good. While some might think this is related to blissful ignorance or weakness, my opinion is that optimists are brave and resilient. They dare to see the brighter side. To dream. To hope. 

How can you develop and hone your optimism? How can you start seeing the silver linings in storm clouds? Let’s talk about five ways to let your sunny side loose! 

1. Pause Before Reacting 

When life throws a nasty curveball your way, your automatic reaction may be to lash out, become angry, or start complaining about how life can be so unfair. If you feel these types of reactions coming on, I encourage you to pause. Take a step back and a few studying breaths, and approach the situation with a level head. Optimism may not be your default state (which is true of many people!) but you have the power to get into a frame of mind where you can adapt it.

2. Seek the Good

It may not feel natural at first, but it is possible to find a little bit of good in nearly every situation. For example, a colleague of mine was recently in a terrible cycling accident and had to have emergency shoulder surgery. While the situation was far from optimal, she was grateful that she was wearing a helmet and did not hit her head. Additionally, she was thankful that two kind strangers stopped after her crash to help her get the medical attention she needed. Though her recovery will be long, she recognizes that things could be a lot worse.

3. Plans Instead of Pity

When something bad happens to you, it is natural to have a little self-pity. That’s fine, but don’t let yourself wallow for too long. Instead, start thinking about what you can do to improve the situation. What steps can you take? What plans can you make to move forward in a positive way? Shift your mindset from, “Why did this happen to me?” to “How can I make the best of this?” Focusing on plans instead of pity will help you maintain an optimistic outlook.

4. Surround Yourself with Positivity

The people you spend time with have a big impact on your mindset. If you’re constantly around pessimistic, cynical, or complaining individuals, it can start to drag your own outlook down. Make an effort to connect with optimistic, upbeat people who inspire you and bring you joy.

5. Practice Gratitude

Make it a daily habit to reflect on things you are grateful for, no matter how small. This shifts your focus to the positive aspects of life, rather than dwelling on the negative. Keep a gratitude journal, share what you’re thankful for with loved ones, or simply take a few moments each day to appreciate the good in your life. The more you train your brain to seek out the positives, the more naturally optimistic your outlook will become.

Developing and maintaining an optimistic mindset takes practice, but it’s a valuable skill that can enrich your life in countless ways. When you choose to focus on the bright side, you open yourself up to new possibilities and the ability to weather life’s storms with greater resilience. Embrace these strategies and make optimism a cornerstone of your daily life. With time and dedication, you can cultivate a more positive, hopeful perspective that will serve you well both personally and professionally.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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June 25, 2025 Becoming Resilient and Adaptable in a Turbulent World

Photo by Jaspinder Singh on Unsplash

“You are braver than you believe, smarter than you seem, and stronger than you think.” –Winnie the Pooh

Human beings have always been adaptable and resilient. If you take a look at our history, you’ll see that we’ve survived deadly plagues and massive volcanoes, pestilence and fires, wars and tyrants. Some events seemed insurmountable (the pandemic known as the Black Death wiped out as much as 50 percent of Europe’s population), but we’ve always come through. This week, I want to talk about what resilience and adaptability look like in today’s world, and how you can embrace these qualities to persevere (and maybe even thrive).

Focus on What You Have

By historical standards, we currently have it pretty good. It’s true that we’re going through a period of economic and political turmoil, but we fortunately have several advantages that our ancestors did not. Science (including medical science) is better than ever, we are more widely connected than ever (if we choose to be!), there is more peace internationally than in most periods of history, clean energy is continuing to grow, and quality of life is better (overall) across the world.

These are big-picture considerations, but what about your own life? Even if things aren’t perfect, I’m certain you can find a few things to be grateful for. Think about the people in your life—the positive influences, the friends who check in, the co-workers who say thank you, the people who make you laugh. Your support system can be an incredible source of resilience and strength as you go through hard times. And then there are the things we take for granted—the roof over your head, the dinner on your plate, the fact that you have the ability to read this blog post (meaning you’re both literate and have access to technology). Even something as small as enjoying a good book, planting a vegetable garden, or going on a walk can fortify you enough to face tough times.

In short: focus on the things you enjoy, your support system, and the many blessings in your life. These things can help fuel your resilience and adaptability.

Make a Plan

If you perceive tough times ahead, one of the best things to do is make a plan. Better yet, make several plans—one for tough times, another for tougher times, and a third for “what is even going on?” times. Even the act of drawing up a plan can be comforting. You’re being proactive, thinking ahead, and doing whatever you can. This might mean saving extra money, buying specific items, cutting certain expenses, or investing in yourself.

For example, if you think your job is at risk, now is the time to start taking classes or developing a new skillset. Even in the worst of times in history, people continued to have professions or trades. During major wars and plagues, people still needed clothing, food, housing, fresh water, transportation…the list goes on. Applying this to the modern day, people will still need thousands of goods and services, and it could be a good idea to learn how to provide one or more of them.

Together We’re Stronger

During hard times, the people who are most likely to thrive are the ones with a robust support network. These are the friends who check in on each other, the neighbors who loan each other tools or baking ingredients, the family members who ask, “How can I help?” and the co-workers who occasionally pick up the slack when someone is having an off day (or week!). These are the community centers, libraries, or communal gardens that provide a place to gather, share, and mingle. These support systems can lift us up and help us through the worst of times. Just remember to give as much (or more) as you get, if you can.

I truly believe you are braver, smarter, and stronger than you think. As was the case with your ancestors, you are deeply resilient and can adapt to just about anything. Humans have made it through some incredibly difficult times, and I am optimistic you, too, can weather any storms that blow your way.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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