Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach
September 18, 2024 Developing Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace
If you have been following my blog or my business for any length of time, you know that I am a long-time advocate of heart-led leadership. That means being authentic AND having an authentic interest in each of your people. It also means making smart decisions by balancing your head and your heart. Being “heart-led” doesn’t mean you’re weak; it simply means you are empathetic, kind, and willing to listen to your people. This can be viewed as an offshoot of emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence (sometimes referred to as EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and reason with emotions. It involves being self-aware, regulating your own emotions, and empathizing with others. Developing emotional intelligence in the workplace can lead to improved communication, better conflict resolution, and stronger relationships with colleagues. By cultivating emotional intelligence, you can become a more effective leader, foster a positive work environment, and contribute to the overall success of your organization.
Some might believe that emotional intelligence is innate—you’re either born with it or you’re not. While it might be true that some people are more naturally empathetic than others, that doesn’t mean everyone else cannot learn to be emotionally intelligent and develop the qualities associated with a high EQ.
Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learned and improved over time. If you’re hoping to build this essential skill, I suggest starting with the following:
Build Self-Awareness
Emotional intelligence starts with developing a deeper understanding of yourself. What are your tendencies, habits, and perspectives? How do you tend to react stressful situations? What is your communication style, and how do you relate to others?
To help answer these (and other) crucial questions, I suggest taking an assessment test that is rooted in science. As a Licensed Practitioner of Insights Discovery®, I naturally advocate for this system, but many other similar programs exist (Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder, Enneagrams, etc.). Briefly, Insights Discovery® is a self-awareness tool that helps you understand your natural preferences, strengths, and potential blind spots, visualizing this data with four distinct colors (learn more on my website). By gaining this self-knowledge, you can better manage your emotions, communicate more effectively, and build stronger relationships with your colleagues.
Additionally, consider keeping a journal to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors throughout the workday. This can provide valuable insights into your emotional patterns and help you identify areas for growth.
Practice Active Listening
An important step in developing your EQ is practicing active listening. When you actively listen, you not only hear the words being said, but you also aim to understand the speaker’s perspective and emotions. This involves maintaining eye contact, asking clarifying questions, and paraphrasing what you’ve heard to ensure understanding. This demonstrates empathy and builds trust with your colleagues, which can lead to more productive conversations and stronger relationships.
Check In with Your Emotions
Emotional intelligence also requires the ability to check in with and manage your own emotions. When you experience strong feelings, whether positive or negative, take a moment to pause and reflect before responding. This can prevent you from saying or doing something you might regret. Practice techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or journaling to help you regulate your emotions and respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively.
Aim For Understanding
Finally, strive to approach interactions with an attitude of understanding rather than judgment. When you encounter a colleague who is behaving in a way that frustrates or upsets you, try to consider their perspective and what might be driving their actions. This empathetic mindset can help you respond with compassion rather than criticism, fostering an environment of mutual respect and trust.
By developing these key emotional intelligence skills, you can become a more effective communicator, problem-solver, and leader within your organization. Those with a high EQ tend to have a better ability to navigate workplace relationships and interactions effectively. This, in turn, can lead to improved collaboration, problem-solving, and overall job satisfaction. Investing in the development of emotional intelligence can be a valuable asset for yourself, your people, and the entire organization.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: developing emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence in workplace, EQ in workplace, importance of emotional intelligence, Margaret Smith licensed Insights practitioner, Margaret Smith LP of Insights
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Better Business, Insights Discovery
September 4, 2024 The Case for Prioritizing Yourself (at least sometimes!)
During the fall season, much attention is given to kids (or grandkids) and to our work. Some of us are ushering kids back to school, sports, and extracurricular activities. Or we’re preparing for the final (often intense) quarter of the work year. And, sometimes we have to do both. That means our already busy lives often become even more hectic. With so many responsibilities and expectations, when can we possibly find time for ourselves? And why is finding that time so important?
It’s easy to neglect our own needs when we’re constantly focused on taking care of others and meeting professional obligations. However, making time for self-care is crucial for our overall well-being. When we prioritize ourselves, even if just for a few moments each day, we’re better equipped to handle the demands of our busy lives. Taking a break to recharge, reflect, or pursue a personal interest can boost your mood, reduce stress, and improve productivity.
Far too often, however, we neglect self-care. We plow through our daily to-do list with hardly a pause or a moment to ourselves. This constant motion and busyness can lead to burnout, increased stress, or even health issues (both physical and mental). I understand why people go-go-go, but the truth is, that breakneck pace isn’t sustainable.
How can we carve out time for ourselves? How can we make self-care part of everyday life? Try these four tips:
Make It a Habit
If you make an intentional effort to incorporate self-care into your everyday routine, it will happen naturally and consistently. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits suggests tacking on a new habit at the end of a routine that has already been established. For example, after you finish brushing your teeth in the morning, you could do a brief, ten-minute mat workout, or read for a few minutes, or simply sit quietly and take a few deep breaths. The key is to attach the new habit to an existing one, so it becomes part of your daily routine. Over time, it will feel strange not to do your self-care activity.
Schedule It
Another approach is to block off time on your calendar for self-care, just as you would for a meeting or appointment. This ensures you actually follow through and take that much-needed break, rather than letting other priorities crowd it out.
Involve Others
If possible, partner with others on self-care activities. Form a book club, schedule regular workouts with others, establish a monthly coffee or dinner date with friends, or practice a favorite hobby with people you know and enjoy. Practicing your self-care with friends helps keep you accountable for actually following through with prioritizing yourself.
Find What Works for You
The most effective self-care activities are the ones that you genuinely enjoy and find replenishing. For some, it might be a relaxing bath or a quiet walk. For others, it might be reading, journaling, or listening to music. Experiment to discover what recharges your batteries and brings you joy. The key is to find activities that align with your personal preferences and needs. Don’t feel obligated to do what others recommend if it doesn’t resonate with you. Self-care is a highly individualized practice, so honor what works best for you.
Carving out time for yourself, even in small increments, can have a profound impact on your overall well-being and ability to show up fully in other areas of your life. As we approach this often busy time of year, I encourage you to establish self-care habits that work for you. Whether it’s a daily meditation, a weekly hike, or a monthly spa day, make your own well-being a priority. Remember, taking care of yourself allows you to better help others and tackle your responsibilities with more energy and focus. Invest in yourself, and you’ll reap the benefits in all areas of your life.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: Case for Prioritizing Yourself, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, schedule self-care, self-care a habit, self-care and success
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Thrive at Work
August 28, 2024 Why to Take a Social Media Detox
It’s okay to disconnect. You do not always have to be plugged into the news, celebrity gossip, or the latest social media trends. In fact, these things might be having an adverse effect on your mental and emotional health. At times, it might be best to simply step away and take a social media detox.
It is no secret that social media can toy with our emotions. We often see either the best or the worst of humanity, which can either leave us depressed or make us question our self-worth. On the one hand, we can be exposed to bad news, cruelty, and nasty comments…and moments later we might see a post featuring a “perfect” family making French toast together in their “perfect” kitchen. This yo-yo effect can give us emotional whiplash and leave us feeling uneasy, guilty, or depressed. And recent studies back this up.
According to researchers Lawrence Robinson and Melinda Smith of Help Guide, “Multiple studies have found a strong link between heavy social media [use] and an increased risk for depression, anxiety, loneliness, self-harm, and even suicidal thoughts.”
Social media can also affect a person’s self-image. When we constantly compare ourselves with others, we can’t help but feel inadequate. And the truth is, we’re comparing ourselves to an impossible standard. Most people will only publish the most polished, edited, and filtered versions of themselves on social media, while neglecting to include the messier parts of their lives. This can lead to feelings of low self-esteem, body image issues, and even depression.
Additionally, the constant need to check social media and receive validation through likes and comments can become addictive, further contributing to mental health problems.
To be clear, I am not suggesting that we all become completely disconnected and uninformed about current events. However, taking a break from social media can provide a much-needed respite. It allows you to focus on the present moment, engage in real-world interactions, and cultivate a healthier relationship with technology. By stepping away, you can regain a sense of control, reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, and reconnect with your authentic self. A social media detox can be a powerful tool to improve your mental well-being and foster a more balanced and fulfilling life.
To actually achieve a little distance from social media, I suggest the following tactics:
- Turn off notifications for social media apps on your devices
- Set aside specific times of the day to check social media, rather than constantly scrolling
- Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate or negatively impact your mood
- Replace social media time with other activities that bring you joy, like reading, exercising, or spending time with loved ones
- Consider a complete social media detox for a set period, such as a week or a month, to reset your relationship with these platforms
A social media detox can be a powerful way to regain control over your digital life and improve your overall well-being. By setting boundaries, curating your feed, and replacing social media time with more fulfilling activities, you can reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Remember, it’s okay to disconnect and prioritize your mental health. Embrace the present moment, engage in real-world interactions, and cultivate a healthier relationship with technology. A social media detox can be a transformative experience, empowering you to live a more balanced and fulfilling life.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, social media break, step away from social media, unplugging from social media, why take social media detox
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Communication
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