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July 5, 2023 5 Ways to Manage Negativity and Build a Positive Outlook

Image by Anastasia Borisova from Pixabay

It is well-known in psychology that people tend to remember and cling to negative experiences more intensely than positive ones. That tendency is called negativity bias, and it can color the way we see the world. Instead of paying attention to the half-dozen positive comments after a presentation, we’re more likely to dwell on the one person who said they didn’t resonate with the material. Instead of recalling past experiences of success, we focus on the failures. To make matters worse, we are often inundated with bad news from the news, social media, and other sources.

Strategies for Overcoming Negativity

How can we overcome all this negativity in our lives? Try any or all of the following five practices:

Practice Gratitude

Believe it or not, gratitude is a state of mind you can practice and adapt with a little time and effort (it is not necessarily innate or intuitive!). Every day, write down three things for which you are grateful. These don’t have to be big things; they could be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee or having a supportive friend. Focusing on what is going well in your life can help shift your thoughts away from negativity.

Embrace Failure

Failure is a natural part of life. Things are not going to go perfectly at all times (wouldn’t life be boring if they did?), so it’s better to face failures head on and strategize how to overcome them, rather than letting them completely derail you. Instead of dwelling on mistakes or perceived failures, use them as opportunities for growth and learning. Reflect on what went wrong and how you can improve in the future. Remember, the most innovative companies, such as Google and Apple, are not afraid of making mistakes and missteps on their journey to produce something cutting edge and new.

Surround Yourself with Positivity

The people you surround yourself with and the media you consume can have a big impact on your mindset. Seek friends and colleagues who have a positive outlook, are supportive, don’t say nasty things about others, and who encourage you in your endeavors. In terms of media, it’s a good idea to limit your social media and news time, AND edit who/what shows up on your news feed. This doesn’t mean you’re tuning out the world; you’re simply limiting your exposure to media that can often feel “doom and gloom.”

Talk Back to Your Gremlins

Does it sometimes feel like you have a gremlin that invades your thoughts and tells you things like: “you can’t,” “you’re not good enough,” “no one will listen to your thoughts,” or “you shouldn’t even be in this meeting.” I call this “gremlin” your saboteur—the negative soundtrack that runs through your mind and belittles your abilities. It’s time to start talking back! Pay attention to your negative thoughts, acknowledge them, and work on reframing them into more positive, constructive thoughts.

Practice Self-Care

Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally is essential for building a positive mindset. Make time for activities that you enjoy, get adequate sleep, eat well, and prioritize your mental health. It’s much easier to maintain a positive mindset when you’re feeling refreshed, healthy, and energized (see my post on 5-minute self-care ideas).

Building a positive mindset is a powerful tool for overcoming negativity and improving your quality of life. The five strategies outlined above can help you shift your thought patterns and approach life with a more optimistic outlook. It may take time and effort, but the benefits are worth it. Don’t let negativity bias control your life—take charge of your thoughts and embrace the positive.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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August 26, 2020 Is Your Inner Voice Negative Lately?

depressed man on couch

We all have an inner narrative. It’s the little voice that lives insides us, cheering us on…or telling us we’re not good enough. It’s the voice that says, “Your opinion matters. Speak up!” Or the voice that says, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Keep quiet.”

For many of us, it’s easy to tune into the negative messages—to believe that we’re not smart enough, talented enough, thin enough, strong enough, or capable enough. I call this negative voice your “saboteur.” It’s that weight that hangs around your shoulders, dragging you down and preventing you from rising to your potential. I have found that women, especially, have a constant self-saboteur—a persistent negative narrator that causes us to shrink into the shadows, rather than taking a risk, stepping forward, and speaking out.

Michael Singer, author of The Untethered Soul, talks about this tendency to talk down to ourselves. He describes the voice as your “negative roommate,” the naysayer that is constantly spouting pessimism. Singer advises us to “monitor the roommate” by externalizing it. Give your inner voice a body and start talking back to it!

For me, the idea of giving your inner voice “a body” is another way of saying, “be mindful of your thoughts.” Monitor them. Start keeping tabs on the narrative you’re telling yourself. This mindfulness is the first step in flipping your negativity around and freeing yourself from your saboteur.

When you catch yourself thinking pessimistically, pause. Refocus. Think of positive outcomes and possibilities instead of focusing on the negative. If your little voice is telling you, “You can’t do it. You will fail during your presentation at today’s meeting.” Tell it, “No, I won’t. I will succeed. I will speak eloquently and clearly; I will keep people engaged.”

Then, repeat. Continue to redirect your inner voice so you’re focusing on positive results. After a while, you’ll find that this redirection will become second-nature. You’ll begin to think of yourself and your abilities in a more positive light.

Grab a hold of your life’s narrative and tell it how to behave! That’s the surest way to boost your confidence, reduce stress, and reject toxic negativity. Start back-talking to the nagging saboteur in your head and discover what a difference it can make in your life and happiness.

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September 14, 2016 Overcoming Negative Self-Talk

overcoming negative self talk

Although we may not pay attention to it most of the time, there is a constant internal voice that runs through everyone’s head. This is the voice that talks to us when we’re bored, tells us to choose the salad (not the soft pretzel!), and reminds us to not bring up politics around Aunt Mary. This unconscious stream of thought can also lift us up and make us feel confident OR cause us to come crashing down and tell us we’re no good.

Which narrative is running through your head?

For many people, the internal voice can be overwhelmingly negative. In the transformative book The Untethered Soul, author Michael Singer talks about this tendency to talk down to ourselves. He describes the voice as your “negative roommate,” the naysayer that is constantly spouting pessimism. Singer advises us to “monitor the roommate” by externalizing it. Give your inner voice a body and start talking back to it!

Although this method of combatting negative self-talk might make you seem a little loony (back-talking to your “roommate” who isn’t physically there!), Singer claims that it is the first step in taming your negative self-talk problem. He says, “If you want to free yourself, you must first become conscious enough to understand your predicament. Then you must commit yourself to the inner work of freedom…as of right now, your life is not your own; it belongs to your inner roommate; the psyche.”

The main lesson here is to be MINDFUL. Be AWARE of the narrative that runs through your head. Pay attention to what your inner voice is saying and when you catch yourself thinking pessimistically, pause. Refocus. Think of the positive side of things instead of focusing on the negative. If your little voice is telling you, “You can’t do it. You will fail during your presentation at today’s meeting.” Tell it, “No, I won’t. I will succeed. I will speak eloquently and clearly; I will keep people engaged.”

Then, repeat. Continue focusing your inner narrative on positive outcomes and you’ll find that it will become second-nature after a while. You’ll begin to be an optimistic person, instead of struggling to become one.

Grab a hold of your life’s narrative and tell it how to behave! That’s the surest way to boost your confidence, reduce stress, and reject toxic negativity. Start back-talking to the nagging negativity in your head and discover what a difference it can make in your life.

 

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM

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