Tag Archives: Minneapolis career coach
September 14, 2016 Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
Although we may not pay attention to it most of the time, there is a constant internal voice that runs through everyone’s head. This is the voice that talks to us when we’re bored, tells us to choose the salad (not the soft pretzel!), and reminds us to not bring up politics around Aunt Mary. This unconscious stream of thought can also lift us up and make us feel confident OR cause us to come crashing down and tell us we’re no good.
Which narrative is running through your head?
For many people, the internal voice can be overwhelmingly negative. In the transformative book The Untethered Soul, author Michael Singer talks about this tendency to talk down to ourselves. He describes the voice as your “negative roommate,” the naysayer that is constantly spouting pessimism. Singer advises us to “monitor the roommate” by externalizing it. Give your inner voice a body and start talking back to it!
Although this method of combatting negative self-talk might make you seem a little loony (back-talking to your “roommate” who isn’t physically there!), Singer claims that it is the first step in taming your negative self-talk problem. He says, “If you want to free yourself, you must first become conscious enough to understand your predicament. Then you must commit yourself to the inner work of freedom…as of right now, your life is not your own; it belongs to your inner roommate; the psyche.”
The main lesson here is to be MINDFUL. Be AWARE of the narrative that runs through your head. Pay attention to what your inner voice is saying and when you catch yourself thinking pessimistically, pause. Refocus. Think of the positive side of things instead of focusing on the negative. If your little voice is telling you, “You can’t do it. You will fail during your presentation at today’s meeting.” Tell it, “No, I won’t. I will succeed. I will speak eloquently and clearly; I will keep people engaged.”
Then, repeat. Continue focusing your inner narrative on positive outcomes and you’ll find that it will become second-nature after a while. You’ll begin to be an optimistic person, instead of struggling to become one.
Grab a hold of your life’s narrative and tell it how to behave! That’s the surest way to boost your confidence, reduce stress, and reject toxic negativity. Start back-talking to the nagging negativity in your head and discover what a difference it can make in your life.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: banish negativity, career coach Margaret Smith, embracing positivity, Minneapolis career coach, negative inner voice, negative life narrative, overcome doubt, overcome negative self talk
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August 10, 2016 Good Habit, Bad Habit
We are creatures of habit.
Most of us have a daily routine that we stick to—waking up at a certain time, making coffee, eating breakfast, commuting to work. It’s how we bring order to our lives and make sense of the day. For those of you who follow a set routine, you understand the power of habit. What happens to your day if, say, you’re unable to have your morning coffee? Or you get stuck in traffic on the way to the office? Things tend to feel strange and your day may feel off-kilter.
That’s why bad habits are so hard to break.
A habit, whether good or bad, is comfortable. It’s part of the fabric of your life. If, for example, you begin working through lunch and eating food purchased from the vending machine, after a while that will feel normal and the habit will be hard to break. On the flip side, if you make sure to pack yourself a nutritious lunch every day and take time away from your desk to eat it, you’ll get used to that routine.
Even though you may consciously realize that your bad habits may cause lasting, damaging effects, it’s difficult to break away from them. In their book, The Power of Focus, authors and entrepreneurs Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Hewitt strategize on ways to build healthy habits and shed the unhealthy ones. They recommend working on changing one bad habit at a time and replacing it with a new, healthy one.
Here’s how to do it in 4 steps:
- Clearly identify your bad or unproductive habits
This is a step that involves a good deal of reflection on your part. You may need to call upon external help (such as assistance from a therapist or life coach) to help you clearly label your bad habits. In some cases, a daily habit may not seem too terrible on its own (i.e. getting 5 hours of sleep at night or working late and missing family dinner), but the long-term consequences might be severe.
- Define your new successful habit
Identify a new, healthy habit and envision what that will look like in your life. Canfield, Hansen, and Hewitt advise you to “create a clear picture of what this new habit will do for you. The more vividly you describe the benefits, the more likely you are to take action.” Remember, it’s okay to start small and build up your arsenal of good habits as you go along.
- Create an action plan
You’ve honed in on areas in your life you want to improve, deciding to take different (usually opposite) courses of action to beat out bad habits. Now, you’re ready to get the ball rolling. Take the time to “make a decision about which specific actions you are going to implement.”
Visualize each actions. What practical steps do you need to take to form a new habit? What actions will boost your chance of success? The action plan will propel you from visualizing changes you wish to see, to actually feeling empowered to make them. What’s more, having a written copy of your plan (and placing it somewhere where you will see it!) will help hold you accountable.
- Set a start date.
Get yourself psyched up for the start of a new chapter in your life. Setting a start date is vital to your action plan and helps you start strong.
Canfield, Hansen and Hewitt use the example of someone who takes too much work home on the weekends. They look honestly at the consequences of this habit (“Family time restricted, feeling guilty, important relationships become polarized”), visualize the benefits freeing up the weekend completely (“more relaxed, reduced stress levels, create unique family experiences”), and make a 3-step action plan to get there:
- Design my work better by not overcommitting.
- Delegate secondary tasks to staff to free up my time.
- Have my family keep me accountable. No golf if I don’t follow through!
Start Date: February 3rd
As with any change we make in our lives, repetition is key. To make better habits, you’ll have to keep fighting the brainless tendency we have to continue the bad habits we’ve created. This may be difficult at first, but if you stick to the action plan and keep your focus toward the future, you’ll soon find that you’re actually doing the good habits without having to think about them. Think about how good that will feel!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Source: Canfield, Jack, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Hewitt. The Power of Focus. Florida: Health Communications, 2011.
Tags: advice from a career coach, career coach Margaret Smith, changing bad habits into good habits, creating good habits, creatures of habit, crush bad habits, eliminate bad habits, improve your routine, Minneapolis career coach, st. paul career coach, twin cities life coach
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July 27, 2016 Simplify Your Life
As I mentioned in last week’s blog post, I am currently volunteering in Kraków, Poland for World Youth Day. This powerful experience has got me thinking about volunteering, humility, and living a life of service.
The effects of volunteerism can be life-changing. I know they were for my son, John. When John was a young man, he spent some time volunteering in Guatemala, a few weeks before Christmas. Before heading down there, John had carefully composed a Christmas wish list with several items that he wanted.
During his ten days in Guatemala, John lived and worked near a group of impoverished families. The camaraderie of the people and their optimistic attitudes in the face of severe poverty had an enormous effect on him. When John returned home, the first thing he did was tear up his Christmas list, saying, “I don’t need any of these things to be happy. Those people live in a house they made with scraps, have one light bulb in their home, and always have big smiles on their faces.”
What a profound lesson for a young person to learn!
Of course, I’m not advocating that you give up everything you have and live in a shack somewhere (especially in Minnesota during the winter!). What I am saying is that simplicity is often the key to happiness. When you’re not bogged down by the constant desire to want more, you give yourself a certain amount of freedom. You also make room in your heart to focus on the parts of life that truly matter—friendships, family, volunteerism, etc.
I urge you to make an effort to streamline and simplify your life. Don’t get attached to “stuff.” Instead, look at the big picture and focus on that.
And if you have the time, consider volunteering! Instead of writing a check and thinking that you “did your duty,” take the time to really dig in and get to know and understand the people and causes that you care about. Build relationships, develop understanding, and walk a mile in others’ shoes—only then will you begin to understand others’ needs and visions of success and how to help them achieve their goals.
After John returned from Guatemala, he resolved to live with “just enough.” Now, as a grown man, he still sticks by that mantra and does his best to live simply and appreciate what he has.
How will you simplify your life today?
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: career coach Margaret Smith, get by with just enough, live on just enough, live simply, Minneapolis career coach, simplify life, streamline life, UXL career coaching, volunteerism and purpose, World Youth Day
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