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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: Margaret Smith

September 19, 2013 The Tale of The Noisy Heels: self-awareness and public speaking

A talk I gave a few months back was video taped, and I looked forward to getting a chance to critique myself. While I was speaking, I felt that I was doing a fine job connecting with my audience and delivering my message in a composed, articulate manner. I’m afraid to say I still don’t know how true this is, because when I watched the video, I was horrified to discover that my high heels upstaged me.

I like to walk around and use the room when I give talks. It helps me connect with individual members of the audience and keeps me focused, since I tend to be a high-energy person. The room I was in had a hardwood floor and a high ceiling–the recipe for cavernous acoustics. I wasn’t exactly sure going in what kind of room I’d be speaking in, so I never took the time to factor this in to what I would be wearing that day. And that turned out to be a big mistake.

As I walked around on that floor, every step I took was transformed from normal, forgettable clicks high heels make, to echoing, thundering gallops. If I was distracted, watching myself on videotape, I can’t imagine how distracting my heels were to the poor audience.

This experience was a bit discouraging and embarrassing, but I’m grateful for that videotape, because now I know that there are other variables to consider before giving a talk.

1. Video Tape Yourself. The way you speak sounds different to you than it does to everyone else. This has been proven time and time again. Watching yourself on video lets reveals the things about your mannerisms that you overlook. And, as it was true for me, a video can highlight little oddities you’d never predict on your own.

2. When Possible, Become Familiar With The Room. Walk around the space before your speech. Get a feel for the acoustics, the size, and make a mental game plan for how you’ll use the room to your advantage.

3. Your Attire Isn’t Always Just Visual! Avoid clunky boots and noisy heels if you know you’ll be in a space that echoes.

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September 4, 2013 “Am I An Impostor”? Overcoming Self-Doubt

It happens to even the most accomplished among us: That nagging feeling that it’s only a matter of time before we’re found out to be frauds. Thoughts like “I don’t actually know what I’m doing here,” or, “I’ve done well…so far…but eventually they’ll realize they made a big mistake hiring me,” are token examples of someone experiencing this phenomenon. Which begs the question: Where does this intense self-doubt come from?

Known as the Impostor Phenomenon (IP), it is more prevalent than you might expect. (You can view a small test see if you have the IP traits here.) In her new book, The Empress Has No Clothes: Conquering Self-Doubt to Embrace Success, Joyce M. Roche, president of Girls Incorporated, both reveals why many of us have such thoughts, and lays out practical ways to combat them.

Roche writes that conquering self-doubt lies in “learning how to metabolize external validation to turn it into the core strength of internal validation.” In other words, instead of letting your negative thoughts define who you think you are, focus on concrete successes you can point to in your life and let those fuel your sense of self-worth.

A few more points on overcoming self-doubt:

1. Identify the specific parts of your life that make you feel like you’re an impostor, and talk to someone you trust about those specific things. The simple act of verbalizing your fears shines light on the faulty thinking you used to create them.

2. Focus on the external factors of your present circumstance instead of your internal thoughts. You’ll see your track record for what it really us: there will be both successes and failures, sure, but be sure to give yourself credit where credit is due.

3. Wear your failures and setbacks as badges, not blemishes to cover up. As cliché as it is, our failures really are what propel us forward by showing us exactly what not to do, and failures are usually closely followed by successes.

Reference

Roche, Joyce M., and Alexander Kopelman. The Empress Has No Clothes: Conquering Self-Doubt to Embrace Success. San Francisco: Barrett-Koelher, 2013.

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August 21, 2013 Are We Too Hooked On Our Devices?

The other day, as I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic and having just finished a day of seemingly nonstop phone, e-mail and text message exchanges, a story on NPR came on that hit home for me.

NPR’s website has a neat little feature: it stores all the stories it reports throughout the day in transcript form, so if you know the day and general time you heard something interesting on the air, you can always revisit the stories later. Which is exactly what I did.

Here is the story, which covers a company called Digital Detox that offers retreats geared around being completely unplugged from phones and laptops. Not only that, the retreat center detailed in the story has had full attendance at $350 a person.

Why is there such demand for retreats away from screens? Well, the story interviews Digital Detox co-founder, Levi Felix, who sees this as a sign of an increased awareness of digital devices’ intrusiveness. “People are feeling like something’s not right here,” he is quoted as saying.

The story hit home for me personally because I’ve had a love-hate relationship with technology for years. On one hand, the ability to text anyone at anytime is convenient, sure, but what about the flip side of this? What if you’re the one being contacted at all hours of the day? How do you deal with the daily bombardment of communications from all angles?

I think that setting up parameters for yourself in regards to time spent plugged in can help keep you grounded and sane. It’s similar to the skill of saying no. In the same way you need to take care of yourself first by not overextending yourself for others, you also must be able to turn off the phone, guilt-free.

What’s more, we need to stay present and engaged in the moment in order to live fully. Phones and Facebook take us out of our present moment, and too much time online can negatively distort your perception of yourself as well as take away from the amazing world right in front of you.

What do you think? What have been your ways of managing the barrage of online information?

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