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Tag Archives: Margaret Smith professional speaker

May 21, 2025 Building Community

Photo by Mourizal Zativa on Unsplash

Practically speaking, we’re more connected than ever. With email, video chats, messaging apps, social media, and more, we’re just a click away from communicating with just about anyone. Why, then, is there so much talk about a nation-wide loneliness epidemic? Why are so many families out of touch with each other? Why are more and more people (from teens to the elderly) feeling isolated? And why do so many people not know their neighbors?

If technology built community, we would be a thriving network of individuals. Instead, many of us sit inside, scrolling through social media and “liking” others’ posts, without making any true connections. It seems we would rather have a million surface-level contacts than sit down with someone and have a conversation. This stark reality is unfortunate, because community is vital, and we need it more than ever.

How to Create Community

There is not, of course, a catch-all answer when it comes to building community. This is something that takes time and looks different in different circumstances. A person’s work community will look different from their community of family and friends, which will look different from their faith, volunteer, or special interest community. We may be more casual or more formal in certain communities. Or, we might feel like some topics are taboo in certain circles. Despite how different our communities can be, I do think some approaches to building community are universal. These include:

Be Genuine

We’ve probably all encountered people who strike us disingenuous or even “fake.” These types of people might be prone to exaggeration, or they might completely change their demeanor when they’re around certain people. While it’s fine to moderate your behavior around certain groups, there’s a big difference between editing your speech and becoming a completely different person. There’s also a difference between being a little more casual/formal in some situations and completely compromising your values. A genuine person will remain steadfast to their values and who they are, at their core.

Reach Out

Building community takes active work and participation. Extend invitations to others, be inclusive, and keep at. Sometimes it takes time for people to warm to you and feel as if they are part of your community. At the same time, if you sense that someone is truly not interested, there are other fish in the sea! Find those who seem interested in a reciprocal relationship—those who are willing to contribute and be a part of something.

Engage

In my book, The Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge, I devote an entire chapter to Building Community (focused on the workplace). Though this book was published a decade ago and parts of it are outdated (nothing about working remotely, for instance!), much of it is still relevant. In the community chapter, I discuss forming an authentic, respectful relationship with others by asking good questions and truly listening to the responses. The book puts forth a challenge related to this on page 119: “Test your listening skills. Challenge yourself to remember three important details from every conversation you have this week. Jot down those details immediately and then try to recall them two or three hours later. Can you do it?”

The purpose of this exercise is to 1) test your listening skills (are you truly paying attention?) and 2) help you learn something new about those around you. Healthy communities involve respectful and reciprocal relationships. It’s important to learn about each other, so we know how best to support and interact with one another.

If you’re feeling the isolation of our modern, social-media-dominated world, I suggest having the courage to put yourself out there, extend invitations to others, and start engaging in meaningful conversations. These are great first steps, but keep in mind: building community takes time and effort. If you genuinely care about your fellow community members, you will periodically check in with them and offer them support. And, if you surround yourself with caring and authentic individuals, they will do the same for you.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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January 8, 2025 Making a Fresh Start (Even When You’re Not Feeling So Fresh!)

It’s here: another new year and another (supposedly) clean slate. This is when people make New Year’s resolutions to hit the gym, eat healthier, limit screen time, and finally learn how to bake sourdough bread. But sometimes, those resolutions fall flat. Sometimes, they feel forced rather than genuine. How can you possibly start fresh when you don’t feel fresh?

You might not be feeling “fresh and new” for a variety of reasons. Maybe some of your troubles and projects from last year have carried over into this year. Maybe you’re dealing with ongoing interpersonal issues, tough family dynamics, or personal health struggles. Whatever the case, it can be difficult to adopt a positive attitude and step into the brand-new year with untarnished hope and energy.

If this sounds like you, I have a few thoughts about how to move past this sticking point—how to make the new year at least feel fresh, even when life is dragging you down. Let’s talk about a few logical steps you can take:

Acknowledge Obstacles Honestly

It is essential to give life’s obstacles and troubles some thought if you want to move beyond them. I suggest setting aside some time to honestly reflect on what is holding you back this year. Is a certain work project keeping you up at night? Are relationships between yourself and a family member or friend tense right now? Are you troubled by national or global issues? Once you recognize what is truly keeping you from starting fresh, you can begin to figure out ways to either overcome these setbacks OR learn to work with them.

Think Big-Picture…

Once you have a good grasp of what is holding you back, it’s a good idea to take a step back and think about the bigger picture. How important is it to overcome the obstacle? Can you overcome it? Or do you need to learn how to carry on, despite some discomfort or anxiety (in which case, it may be wise to chat with a mental health professional)? When looking at the big picture, you can begin to prioritize tackling the most pressing issues and creating strategies for dealing with them.

…But Start Small

Sometimes it can seem completely daunting to deal with a big issue that is holding you back. If that’s how you’re feeling about a certain obstacle, I encourage you to start small. Think about five bite-sized actions you can take to move the needle in a positive direction. These actions could include:

  • Sending an email you’ve been putting off
  • Placing a phone call to a co-worker, friend, or family member
  • Scheduling a meeting
  • Engaging in a half-hour planning or brainstorming session
  • Organizing and prioritizing a stack of papers
  • Adding information to a spreadsheet

What tiny actions could you add to this week’s to-do list?

Seek Support

If you’re feeling less than your best, don’t be afraid to reach out to loved ones, a therapist, or other trusted resources for support. Sharing your struggles and aspirations with others can provide valuable perspectives and help you feel less alone as you figure out how to move forward. Far too often, we believe we can (and should) shoulder all of life’s difficulties by ourselves, but that can lead to burnout, frustration, exhaustion, or resentment. I urge you to ask for help if and when you need it.

Though you may not be feeling “daisy fresh” at the start of the new year, it is possible to move forward in a positive and productive manner. Try some of these strategies and do your best to cultivate a positive mindset by practicing gratitude and focusing on the things you can control. Remember: you are not perfect, and no slate is ever truly clean. We can only do our best and use the tools at our disposal.

Here’s to the best new year you can manage, even if it’s not perfect!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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November 6, 2024 Choosing Kindness (More Important Than Ever)

In a world that often feels increasingly divided and polarized, the simple act of choosing kindness has never been more crucial. Through both my life experiences and my work as a career/life coach, I have observed the profound impact that kindness (or the lack thereof) can have on our personal and professional lives.

The Importance of Kindness

Kindness is not just a feel-good concept; it is a powerful tool that can transform our relationships, our communities, and even our own well-being. When we choose to be kind, we open ourselves up to deeper connections, foster understanding, and create an environment where everyone feels valued and respected.

In a world that has become increasingly divided, with political and social tensions running high, the need for kindness is more pressing than ever. We have become a nation where civility, good manners, and basic humanity have been overshadowed by the constant need to prove our own point of view or to win at all costs.

The Impact of Kindness

The impact of kindness cannot be overstated. When we choose to be kind, we not only make a positive difference in the lives of others, but we also reap the benefits ourselves. According to an article written by the Mayo Clinic, kindness has positive effects on both the mind and body. The article says, “Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood. It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a hormone directly correlated with stress levels. People who give of themselves in a balanced way also tend to be healthier and live longer.”

Kindness is also a mood booster. It can make us happier, reduce stress, and improve our overall mental and emotional well-being. In short, the simple act of choosing kindness can be a powerful antidote!

Practicing Kindness in Everyday Life

Keep in mind, kindness doesn’t have to be grand or dramatic; it can be found in the small, everyday moments that make up our lives. Here are some ideas for incorporating more kindness into your daily routine:

  • Practice active listening and be present with the people in your life
  • Extend grace and understanding when someone is having a bad day
  • Be patient and understanding with service people
  • Practice empathy—attempt to see another’s point of view before passing judgment or responding negatively
  • Refrain from online squabbling. Little it achieved through fighting behind your screen!
  • Offer a compliment, give a few words of encouragement, or give someone a sincere “thank you” whenever it makes sense (consider sending a handwritten card)

In a world that often feels divided and polarized, the choice to be kind can be a powerful act of resistance. When we choose kindness, we are challenging the narrative of “us vs. them” and instead embracing the idea that we are all in this together. Though it’s easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of political and social debates, I’m certain you can find common ground with just about anyone if you just look for it. At the end of the day, many of us care about the same things—our family (and pets), our friends or community, our home, financial security, our career. Keep that in mind the next time you’re with someone who does not share all your points of view or beliefs.

Remember: kindness doesn’t mean that we have to agree with everyone or that we can’t stand up for our beliefs. It simply means that we approach our interactions with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to listen and learn. When we choose kindness, we create space for meaningful dialogue, and we open the door to the possibility of finding solutions that benefit everyone.

In a world that often feels overwhelming and uncertain, the choice to be kind can be a powerful act of hope and resilience. By embracing kindness in our everyday lives, we can not only improve our own well-being but also contribute to a more compassionate and connected world.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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