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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: Margaret Smith LP of Insights

August 7, 2024 Why to Occasionally Let Go of Mental Toughness

Many people I know (especially female professionals) put a lot of pressure on themselves. They attempt to do “everything for everyone.” They convince themselves they need to be perfect. They stretch themselves too thin. All the while, these overworked individuals march forward, not allowing themselves a break, time to vent, or the grace to seek support.

We do NOT have to be this mentally tough at all times. In fact, it can be beneficial to take off our armor from time to time. Why?

Because always being mentally tough can lead to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and a lack of self-care. It’s important to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, ask for help, and take breaks when needed. Embracing our humanity and accepting our limitations can actually make us stronger in the long run. Additionally, allowing ourselves to be imperfect and to seek support when necessary is a sign of strength, not weakness.

But how can you tell when you need to slow down, step away, or seek help? Some signs include:

  • Regularly feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious
  • Having difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • Neglecting self-care activities like exercise, healthy eating, or sleep
  • Increased irritability or moodiness
  • Withdrawing from friends, family, or beloved activities
  • Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, or fatigue

Recognizing these signs and taking steps to address them, such as prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and seeking support, can help you prevent burnout and maintain a healthy, balanced life. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to acknowledge when you need to slow down and take care of yourself. It takes plenty of courage to speak up, make a change, or ask for help!

Taking action can ultimately help build your resilience and effectiveness in the long run. Keep in mind, you’re running a marathon, not a sprint, and it’s important to pace yourself. Remember, self-care is not selfish—it’s necessary for maintaining your physical and mental well-being.

In short, you don’t have to be mentally tough all the time. Embrace your humanity, be kind to yourself, and don’t be afraid to step back when you need to recharge. Your strength lies in your ability to recognize and address your needs.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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July 24, 2024 Choosing to Be Kind

Many things in life are out of our control. We cannot choose the weather, or magically erase traffic jams, or guarantee that our co-worker (or spouse, cashier, or client) is in a good mood today. Sometimes your tire will go flat. Sometimes a project will flop or an initiative will not be well-received. Although we certainly cannot pull all of life’s strings, we are not entirely helpless. Some things still fall within our sphere of influence.

One of the most important things we can control is how we respond to situations. If, for example, a co-worker has failed to meet a project deadline, we can lash out, send an angry email, or talk about that person behind their back. Or, we could take a more tactful approach—one revolving around kindness and empathy. Instead of getting angry, we can sit down with that person, talk about what happened, and attempt to gain a better understanding of why the deadline was not met. Maybe the co-worker had a family emergency, or a personal health scare. Or maybe they simply saw the deadline as a suggestion, rather than a firm end date.

When you talk to this person, you can also tell them how you feel, and how missing the deadline affected you, other co-workers, and the company as a whole. In short, by choosing to be kind, you start a dialogue. You begin to build a bridge between yourself and the other person, rather than erecting a wall between the two of you.

Kindness, patience, and understanding are powerful tools, both in the workplace and in daily life. When you adopt an attitude of kindness, you’re more likely to have productive conversations and interactions. On the other hand, when you’re frustrated or short with someone, they will probably reciprocate that frustration, which can lead to a tense, unpleasant, and unproductive interaction.

Kindness is great for problem-solving, too. In an atmosphere where kindness rules, people feel safe to share their ideas, even if they’re outside the norm. Brainstorming sessions become less stressful and more effective. This goes for other types of problem-solving too. If your car breaks down on the side of the road, you can be as angry as you’d like (and sometimes letting off steam does feel good), but that doesn’t solve anything. It’s better to take a breath, take a step back, and assess the situation. Be kind to yourself as you figure out what to do.

We have the opportunity to respond with kindness every single day. This coming week, I challenge you to turn up your kindness dial and see how the world changes around you. How will cashiers or baristas respond when you’re patient and cheerful? How will your family react to your efforts to be more present and caring? What if you chose to be as kind and empathetic as possible in the workplace?

In my experience, kindness opens doors and builds bridges. How might it change your world?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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December 6, 2023 Why to “Ramp Up” Your Resolutions

When the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, we feel a sense of renewal, a fresh start. Many of us make New Year’s resolutions and pledge to begin our new healthy habits as soon as the year begins. Although the energy of a new year can help us along for a while, it can be very difficult to sustain a new habit if we aren’t used to doing it. Making the switch from a junk food diet to a healthy one, going from the couch to the gym, cutting ourselves off from social media, or any big lifestyle change can rock our routines and make us feel a bit off balance. And this discomfort might be enough for many people to eventually give up and say, “Well, there’s always next year…”

How can we avoid making short-lived resolutions? How can we make healthy changes that last? The answer might be “ramping up” your resolutions.

It is difficult for most people to make a major change at the drop of a hat. Instead, it can be helpful to make incremental changes—minor tweaks to your usual routine that are relatively painless to implement. Small changes can add up, especially when you make a conscious effort to ramp up those changes day after day, and week after week.

If you haven’t been jogging lately, it would be exceedingly difficult (if not impossible!) to run a marathon. That’s why there are marathon training regimens in place. These programs help people build up speed and stamina over the course of several months, so by the time the marathon rolls around, they’re well prepared.

The same idea can be applied to ramping up your resolutions. A month or two before the new year, you might start building toward your resolution. Let’s say you’d like to read two books every month next year. You can start by committing to reading a minimum of three pages a day for a few days. Then, you can increase that amount to five pages, then ten pages, then an entire chapter. By New Year’s Eve, you will have developed the beginning of a reading habit and will be ready to tackle your resolution in earnest.

Another example is eating a healthier diet. To prepare for this resolution, you can start small. Try swapping a daily junk food snack for a healthier option (swap potato chips for sliced veggies or an apple; swap a cookie for a piece of low-sugar dark chocolate). Or, you could modify one of your daily meals to be healthier (eating a salad for lunch instead of a pre-packaged sandwich or mac ‘n’ cheese).

To ramp up to your resolution, it’s a good idea to keep a few things in mind:

  • It pays to plan! Set a starting point and map out how you will slowly ramp up your behavior.
  • Use a calendar and set alerts. This will help remind you of your next “ramp up.”
  • Don’t stress the start date. You can start making incremental changes at any time of year, not just before the new year. Just make sure you have a clear direction and have mapped out how you will ramp up.
  • Celebrate wins! Don’t forget to recognize the progress you’re making.
  • Get others on board. It can be very helpful to include others on your journey of self-improvement. Ask a friend to check in from time to time to help you reach your goals (and don’t forget to offer to do the same for them).

The end of the year is fast approaching, and it’s not too late to start thinking about the changes you’d like to make for yourself. No matter your goals, it can be hugely helpful to tackle them slowly, one small change at a time. You’ve got this, and I’m cheering you on!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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