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Tag Archives: Margaret Smith life coach

July 24, 2024 Choosing to Be Kind

Many things in life are out of our control. We cannot choose the weather, or magically erase traffic jams, or guarantee that our co-worker (or spouse, cashier, or client) is in a good mood today. Sometimes your tire will go flat. Sometimes a project will flop or an initiative will not be well-received. Although we certainly cannot pull all of life’s strings, we are not entirely helpless. Some things still fall within our sphere of influence.

One of the most important things we can control is how we respond to situations. If, for example, a co-worker has failed to meet a project deadline, we can lash out, send an angry email, or talk about that person behind their back. Or, we could take a more tactful approach—one revolving around kindness and empathy. Instead of getting angry, we can sit down with that person, talk about what happened, and attempt to gain a better understanding of why the deadline was not met. Maybe the co-worker had a family emergency, or a personal health scare. Or maybe they simply saw the deadline as a suggestion, rather than a firm end date.

When you talk to this person, you can also tell them how you feel, and how missing the deadline affected you, other co-workers, and the company as a whole. In short, by choosing to be kind, you start a dialogue. You begin to build a bridge between yourself and the other person, rather than erecting a wall between the two of you.

Kindness, patience, and understanding are powerful tools, both in the workplace and in daily life. When you adopt an attitude of kindness, you’re more likely to have productive conversations and interactions. On the other hand, when you’re frustrated or short with someone, they will probably reciprocate that frustration, which can lead to a tense, unpleasant, and unproductive interaction.

Kindness is great for problem-solving, too. In an atmosphere where kindness rules, people feel safe to share their ideas, even if they’re outside the norm. Brainstorming sessions become less stressful and more effective. This goes for other types of problem-solving too. If your car breaks down on the side of the road, you can be as angry as you’d like (and sometimes letting off steam does feel good), but that doesn’t solve anything. It’s better to take a breath, take a step back, and assess the situation. Be kind to yourself as you figure out what to do.

We have the opportunity to respond with kindness every single day. This coming week, I challenge you to turn up your kindness dial and see how the world changes around you. How will cashiers or baristas respond when you’re patient and cheerful? How will your family react to your efforts to be more present and caring? What if you chose to be as kind and empathetic as possible in the workplace?

In my experience, kindness opens doors and builds bridges. How might it change your world?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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July 17, 2024 Taking the Leap: Overcoming Fear of Change

In some situations, you will never be one-hundred-percent, fully ready. This applies to both our personal lives (getting married, starting a family, moving to a new city or state) and professional lives (asking for a promotion, switching jobs or career paths, accepting a new role). In these cases, the path of least resistance might be to do nothing—to carry on with life as usual. If we constantly do this, however, we miss opportunities to grow, and we could miss out on some of life’s greatest adventures and rewards.

But I do understand that change can be difficult. It can push us far out of our comfort zones, challenge us in all kinds of ways, and force us to pivot or adapt. We might have to change our familiar routines or deeply ingrained habits. Or we might have to learn a variety of new skills, meet new people, or familiarize ourselves with new systems or places. This is all tough stuff, but as the saying goes, “Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”

When you’re considering whether to make a potentially life-altering change, it can be helpful to take a few steps.

Prepare as Best as You Can

Though it is nearly impossible to prepare for all outcomes of a major change, you can undertake whatever preparations you can. Parenting is a great example of this. Although you’ll never be able to predict every challenge you’ll face or every difficulty, you can still make plenty of preparations by reading parenting books, designing a suitable nursery, establishing a pediatrician, talking with other parents, and more. In the workplace, you can prepare for a new role by researching the company, understanding the expectations, and seeking guidance from colleagues who have previously held similar positions. By arming yourself with knowledge and support, you can increase your confidence in taking on these new challenges.

Keep the Benefits in Mind

While you’re in the thick of the “tough stuff” associated with any major life change, you might question your decision or wish you had done things differently. However, it is much more motivating and empowering to focus on the benefits of your new situation. Think about things such as:

  • Personal growth (that you have or will experience)
  • New opportunities
  • Exciting adventures and rewards
  • Developing new skills and relationships
  • Learning and adapting to new environments
  • Finding deeper fulfillment and satisfaction
  • Gaining confidence and resilience
  • Appreciating the journey and the lessons learned
  • Building a sense of purpose and direction through new experiences

When you focus on these benefits, you’re more likely to be excited and motivated by the change. This will help to propel you forward.

Don’t Wait Around for “Perfect”

The truth is, situations are rarely perfect. The time may not ever be quite right to move to a new city, for example, or start a new career path. Even so, it doesn’t serve you (or your long-term goals and dreams) to wait around, since the perfect moment may never come. Embrace the idea that there will always be some level of uncertainty or discomfort when making a significant change. Instead of waiting for everything to align perfectly, focus on your readiness to adapt and grow through the process. Take the plunge, knowing that facing challenges head-on is essential for personal and professional development.

Remember, it’s okay to feel nervous or unsure when facing significant changes. If you prepare as best you can, focus on the benefits, and make peace with a little risk-taking, that can help ease your transition and set you up for success. Embracing change is about taking calculated risks, being open to new experiences, and understanding that growth often comes from stepping outside of our comfort zones. Change may be challenging, but it also presents opportunities for personal and professional development that can enrich our lives in ways we never imagined.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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July 3, 2024 8 Tricks to Complete that Terrible Task

At one point or another, we’ve all had to deal with tasks that fill us with dread. Maybe this involves having a tough conversation with a co-worker, or maybe it means filling out a long and tedious spreadsheet. Or, it could entail picking up the phone and calling an unpleasant or difficult client. Or, perhaps, this is a simple clerical task that we, for whatever reason, have formed a mental block against.

What is your personal “Mount Everest” right now? What task have you been putting off because the mere thought of it makes your stomach turn or your head hurt?

No matter what terrible task is clogging your to-do list, I believe in your ability to conquer it. Let’s talk about 8 ways to overcome this obstacle:

Block Out Time

Many of us have a full calendar, which can give us an excuse for procrastinating or putting off a difficult task. Because of this, it’s a good idea to specifically carve out time to tackle your “trouble project.” Block off whatever time you need on your calendar and STICK TO IT, just as you would honor a business meeting with a client or co-worker.

Set a Timer

If you’ve set aside time but you’re still having trouble getting started, try setting a timer. Once the timer is going, you’re not allowed to do anything else (check social media, browse online, clean your desk drawer) besides the one, specific task you need to do. If the idea of a timer sounds daunting, try setting it for a short amount of time—say 10 or 15 minutes. The idea is to simply get moving, even for a short while. This can help the task seem less daunting.

Prepare

If you need to engage in a tough conversation or send a difficult email, it is a good idea to prepare. Rehearse what you’re going to say, write out a rough draft, or practice out loud (see my blog post on prepping for tough conversations). If the task involves individual work (say, filling out a tedious spreadsheet), you can prepare by setting up your environment for success. Close your door, put your phone in airplane mode, put on your headphones—whatever will help you concentrate.

Relax

Sometimes the very idea of a certain task can cause stress. To combat heightened stress, try engaging in a relaxing activity before diving in. Try 15 minutes of yoga or stretching, do a crossword puzzle, read a few pages of a book, or go on a brief walk. Then get started!

Talk About It

To help you gain new perspectives, it can be helpful to talk about your assignment with others. You might choose to consult those who are close to the problem—people who understand exactly what you’re up against—or those who are removed from it and will see your situation with fresh eyes. Both types of people have merit and can potentially offer valuable points of view.

Set a Deadline

If your terrible task does not have a firm deadline, set one! Then, commit to sticking to it. This can give you the motivation you need to get rolling and complete your assignment.

Determine a Stick…

What happens if you do not finish your task on time? Or if you fail to work on the project during your allotted time? Figure out a “stick” to motivate yourself. Maybe you’re not allowed to open any social media apps until you’ve completed the task. Or perhaps you’ll opt to cut down your TV time and dedicate that time to your “terrible task.”

…and a Carrot!

Don’t forget to celebrate your victory against the terrible task. Figure out how you will reward yourself for completing this project, and keep that reward in mind as you work. This could be something small (a special dessert, a new book, etc.) or something larger (dinner out, a weekend away), depending on how difficult the task is.

Though it is tempting to continually “kick the can down the road” when it comes to terrible tasks, the reality is, we have to face them eventually. Use these 8 tricks to motivate yourself to complete the project that’s looming over you. Believe me, you’ll feel better once you do.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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