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Tag Archives: Margaret Smith life coach

July 24, 2019 3 Fool Proof Ways to Keep Calm

Stacked rocks on shore
Photo by Jeremy Thomas on Unsplash

It happens to all of us: we reach a tipping point that makes us want to explode, run away, or do something completely rash that we’ll later regret. Maybe a troublesome co-worker hasn’t completed their portion of a project again. Maybe a client is making unreasonable demands. Or maybe you’re about to give a big presentation, and you’re all nerves. How can you deal with a stressful situation and maintain a confident calm?

Try these three techniques:

1. Use the “100 years test”

Picture this: A car cuts you off in rush hour traffic as you’re making your way to work. You can’t find a parking space in the employee lot due to a big client event, and you’re late to an important meeting. At the meeting, you realize you’ve misplaced your notes and have to bumble your way through your presentation. THEN, just to put the cherry on top of your awful day, you realize you’ve parked illegally and your car’s been towed.

You’re fuming—mad as a bull in a china shop. You’re about to return home to your family, and probably lash out at them (unfairly) and make everyone around you feel just as rotten as you’re feeling right now. But wait! This is the perfect time to utilize the 100 years test. The test goes like this:

Will any of this matter 100 years into the future? Will the dangerous driver, your tardiness, your flubbed meeting, and your towed car be remembered in the annals of history? Likely not. All of those unfortunate events pale in comparison to the way you treat your family and the legacy you leave with them.

Remind yourself what truly matters. Every day, we have to deal with a hundred minor inconveniences. Don’t let yourself get hung up on those unimportant annoyances. Instead, use the 150 years test and instantly put things in perspective.

2. Excuse yourself

If you feel yourself reaching your boiling point, sometimes it pays to physically remove yourself from the space or the people who are causing you anger or anxiety. Just creating some temporary relief from the stressful situation can help to give you perspective and restore your calm. Take a short walk (outside, if possible!), meditate at your desk for five minutes, or squeeze a stress ball for a few minutes. Think about the situation while you’re physically removed from it, and then return to the space when you’re feeling calm and ready to deal with whatever has set you off.

3. Assess the “threat level”

Like the 150 years test, assessing something’s “threat level” is a good way to look at a non-optimal situation from a more neutral standpoint. This is a concept articulated in the book True Blue Leadership by Tracey C. Jones. Ask yourself, “Does this current annoyance threaten my family, my life, or my soul?”

When it comes down to it, these three crucial components should be first and foremost in your mind. If the annoyance is non-threatening (a chronically late co-worker, a bad hair day, an upset client), remain calm! There’s no need for a “fight or flight” response. Tell yourself, “I’m dealing with a nonthreatening situation. It’s best to stay calm and collected.”

How will you Keep Calm and Carry On this week? Try one or two of these three methods and let me know how it goes!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
NOW LIVE: CHECK OUT MARGARET’S NEW ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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May 8, 2019 What IS the difference between Honesty & Integrity?

Pink lotus flower

One of the key leadership attributes in my book, The Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge, is TRUST. I truly believe business and leadership success is built on trust. You need it between co-workers, between supervisors and staff, between the business and its customers. If trust doesn’t exist, the organization flounders and is likely to fail.

One of the ways to build trust is through transparent behavior and communication. It goes beyond honesty and into the realm of integrity. Though honest and integrity may seem like the same thing, they are actually quite different.

Honesty is simply telling the truth. You can tell the truth and still omit information or focus on one part of the big picture. To relate honesty to a work example, think of a check-in meeting you might have with your team. In this meeting, everyone goes around and reports on their project, giving highlights on how things are going. When you have the floor, you talk about one specific part of your project—the only part that is going well. You’re being honest, but are you acting with integrity?

I would argue that, no, you’re not. You’re leaving out the parts of your project that are going poorly and casting yourself only in a positive light. That might get you by for a while, but what happens when your project implodes and you turn in subpar work? What happens when you hit a wall and need to desperately seek help?

This situation calls for more than honesty. It calls for you to be vulnerable and discuss the parts of your project that are leaving you stymied or frustrated. It calls for integrity.

If you act with integrity, you do what you know is best. It may not be easy, but it is right.

In this situation, you might call attention to the areas in which you are struggling. You might set aside your pride and ask for additional resources to help you complete the project as efficiently and effectively as possible.

Another situation in which integrity outweighs honesty has to do with office gossip. If you know a damaging bit of news about a co-worker, you could tell others about it. You’re being honest, right? But are you acting with integrity?

Again, the answer is no. Even though you’re not fabricating the damaging news, just telling it can be harmful. It can erode trust.

That’s the difference between honesty and integrity: Honesty is blunt, truth-telling and integrity involves considering the big picture and attempting to do what is right. Acting with integrity helps create trust.

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April 10, 2019 4 Simple Steps To Define Your Personal Mission

What is a personal mission statement and why should you make one? I’m glad you asked!

A personal mission statement goes beyond your career. It goes beyond New Year’s resolutions. It’s the backbone of who you are—the cornerstone of your legacy. A personal mission statement is the thing that drives your accomplishments and helps you to think “big picture” instead of getting bogged down by the day to day.

In practice, a personal mission statement is one or two sentences that define your overarching life goals and values.

Sound a bit daunting? It doesn’t have to be! Let’s break down how to create a personal mission statement in four easy steps:

1. Write out a list of your values and goals

Just free write. Don’t overthink this. Take ten minutes and write out words or phrases relating to things that you care deeply about or that drive you in life. For example, your list might have words like this:

  • Family
  • The environment
  • Financial freedom
  • Cooking
  • Starting a business
  • Empowering women

2. Spend some time thinking about the things you value, care about, or want to strive for.

Though the items on your list may all be important, some will be more important to you than others. Consider:

  • What do you want to be known for?
  • What excites and interests you?
  • Where do you feel your talents can be best applied?
  • Can you combine two or more items on your list? (i.e. Empowering women through creating your own business revolving around female health and wellness)

3. Write your statement

Put your thoughts and notes together and write out a personal mission statement. It can be something simple like:

I strive to put my family at the center of my life while also working in a leadership role in my current company.

Or, it can be a tad more complex:

My personal mission is to serve the natural world through volunteerism, a career at an environmental nonprofit, and by striving to lower my carbon footprint.

4. Rewrite your statement

Sit with your statement for a while. Pin it to your bulletin board. Look at it and say it out loud from time to time. Does it feel right? Does it encompass everything you’d like to accomplish? Or is it missing some key element?

Tweak your statement accordingly (and keep tweaking, if it needs it!)

Then…Act!

A personal mission statement is meaningless if you put it in a drawer and let it grow dusty. Pin it where you will see it every single day. Look at it often and use it as a motivator—some fire under your feet to accomplish big things and drive you toward your goals.

Think of your statement as an end goal and then strategize ways to reach that goal. What actions do you need to take to put your personal mission at the center of your life? What needs to change? What needs to stay the same or amplify? What resources will you need? Who can you turn to for guidance and support?

Use your personal mission statement as that little bit of gas in the tank that will propel you through your days…no matter how sluggish or uninspired you may be feeling. And remember: if you happen to stray from your personal mission, it’s okay! Use your statement to right your course, restrategize, and press on!

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