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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: Margaret Smith life coach

August 19, 2020 Why it’s a good idea to focus on GRIT right now

Image courtesy of Pixabay.com

Amidst this pandemic, it’s been difficult to stay motivated. When I get in a rut, I’ve found that watching a TED Talk can pull me out of it. Recently, I watched a TED Talk by psychologist Dr. ANGELA LEE DUCKWORTH on the subject of grit. She first noticed a correlation between success and grit when she was working as a school teacher in a difficult neighborhood. A child’s scholarly success was not necessarily related to their IQ; more often than not, it was related to their dogged perseverance, or grit. As we drudge through the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are beginning to understand just how much grit it takes to keep going.

In her TED Talk, Duckworth discusses the origins of her studies on grit. She noticed the difference between natural talent and grit as a teacher, which led her to pursue a career in psychology and make grit the subject of most of her research. She studied diverse groups of people—from military cadets to students to sales people—and, time and again, observed that grit was a key attribute to success.

THE PEOPLE WHO KEPT GOING DESPITE FAILURES OR SETBACKS, THE PEOPLE WHO WERE COMMITTED TO A JOB OR TASK FOR THE LONG-TERM, WERE THE ONES WHO USUALLY SUCCEEDED.

With unemployment rates at an unfortunate high and people constantly grappling with anxiety from all the uncertainty, grit is as important as ever. How do you foster grit in your own life and your children’s? Duckworth admits that the research is lacking, but a few interesting ideas have risen to the surface. One study shows that developing a “growth mentality” helps create a gritty personality. A growth mentality has to do with the belief that failure is NOT a permanent state. Rather, failure helps us develop and equips us for future success. 

Keep in mind, grit isn’t directly related to talent. A big part of success is perseverance and having the tenacity to follow through, no matter what. You may have already developed perseverance simply by way of survival, or you might have to learn it. Fortunately, it IS something you can learn. Start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, commit to your goals, and have patience with yourself. You’re not going to learn perseverance and grit overnight.

Since we’re far-removed from our previous routines, it’s important to realize that it takes grit to be where you are now–to be present and forge ahead. Surviving during a pandemic is a challenge on its own, and on top of that we’re forced to deal with changes made at work that can include physical distancing, budget cuts, or lay offs.

Success and failure work hand in hand with learning and growing. Picking yourself back up after an attempt gone wrong is the easiest way to learn from your mistakes. Building grit now can strengthen your character and help you achieve your long term goals, even after the pandemic has long passed. 

For Dr. Duckworth’s full TED Talk, please click the link below:

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
NOW LIVE: CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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August 5, 2020 It’s Not Selfish To Take a Break…

coffee and book
Image courtesy of Pixabay.com

Though I’m generally an optimistic person, there is a lot of hardship in the world lately that has been weighing me down. And I know I’m not alone. When I tune into the news, comb through social media, or talk to friends or acquaintances, I feel a general sense of dread and uncertainty. Many people are unemployed or underemployed, the pandemic is keeping us isolated and frustrated, the economy is uncertain, social issues have the country severely divided…it’s a lot to take in.

During this time of turmoil and strife, it’s crucial to remember to be kind to yourself (as well as others!). You have to remember that, although you are strong, you are just one person. Besides, it’s difficult to make positive change or be a support for others when you’re worn thin and tired.

If the world is weighing on your shoulders and you’re feeling helpless or downright exhausted, I encourage you to set aside time for self-care and rejuvenation. You deserve it. You need it.

Here are 5 ideas for rejuvenating yourself and returning to a positive place in your life:

1. Go Easy On Yourself

Start your rejuvenation journey by forgiving yourself and acknowledging that you don’t have all the answers. You can’t be everything for everyone. You don’t have to be put together all the time. You don’t have to be perfect.

It’s easy to compare yourself to others when you’re on social media. Others’ pictures of perfection (baking bread, sewing COVID masks, flawlessly homeschooling their children) are just that: PICTURES. They don’t show the entire reality. They don’t show the struggles and tears.

If comparing yourself to others is dragging you down, stop tuning in. Take a break from Facebook and Instagram. When you find yourself wanting to click on social media, read an eBook instead or a play a game. Create some “social distance,” and see how it changes your world.

2. Find Daily Quiet Time

Setting aside time every day for quiet reflection, journaling, reading, yoga, etc. can make a world of difference. Even 15 minutes or half an hour can help reinvigorate your brain and put you in a better place. Let your family know that you would like to set aside this time—your “me time”—so you make sure it is peaceful and uninterrupted.

3. Develop Daily Patterns

It’s possible your old life patterns were interrupted by COVID, which can cause you to feel unsettled or edgy. Find creative ways to carve out new daily patterns. For instance, if you used to have a 30-minute commute where you sipped coffee and prepared for your day, you can still set up a morning “commute,” even if you’re now working from home. Make coffee and take the dog for a walk, as you mentally prepare for your day (OR make tea and sit on your porch for a few minutes OR eat breakfast and jot out your daily to-do list…whatever works for you!).

4. Take a Staycation

If you are not working, or if you have the time to step away from work for a while, set aside a week or so and take a staycation. You could stay at a local hotel, but basing yourself out of your own home works just as well. Be a tourist in your own town—visit local parks and museums, eat lunch on a patio, discover parts of the city you’ve never seen before, go for a scenic drive. Most importantly, don’t stress! Sleep in, practice good self-care, read that book you’ve been meaning to read.

If you wanted to take your staycation to the next level, you could visit other countries from the comfort of your living room. Take virtual museum tours, order or make food from a specific country, and immerse yourself in books or movies set in that country. Your creativity is your only limiting factor!

5. Stay Active

Exercise releases endorphins and helps keep you healthy. Even when you’re feeling downtrodden, it pays to make a concerted effort to stay active. Ride your bike, take long walks, lift a few weights, turn on some music and dance—staying active will empower both your body and your mind. Figure out what works best for you and incorporate it into your weekly routine.

You deserve rejuvenation. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle and taking concerted, conscious breaks will help you endure today’s hardships. You’ve got this! And if you’d like to chat, I’m here.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
NOW LIVE: CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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July 29, 2020 The Courage to Change Your Mind

It takes courage to admit when you’re wrong, and it takes even more courage to shift your perspective and open yourself to change. The older we get, the easier it is to do things the same way day in, day out. We become entrenched in our beliefs, and it becomes more and more difficult to shift our way of thinking.

In psychology, this “set in your ways” attitude is called mental rigidity.

While it’s normal and healthy to have a routine, mental rigidity goes a step further. It limits how you see the world, makes you less adaptable, and causes you to be closed off to new ideas or perspectives. As one article puts it, “Mental rigidity cuts off the wings you need for imagination, improvement, and exploring new places.”

Mental rigidity can also make it difficult to have empathy–to walk a mile in another’s shoes. We become accustomed to one reality, one way of life, and that becomes the ONLY way. However, different people hail from different backgrounds and have different experiences and beliefs. We can’t necessarily KNOW what another person is thinking or feeling, but we can attempt to UNDERSTAND.

When you introduce yourself to different perspectives, beliefs, and vantage points, you do something a little scary: You open yourself to the possibility that your deeply entrenched attitudes and ways to thinking might change.

Change is never easy, especially when others expect you to remain the same. When you begin to shift your perspective or beliefs, you might face criticism from those who think you’re a “hypocrite” or “wishy-washy.”

I challenge you to stick to your guns and make an honest effort to change, if you believe that change is necessary. Recognize that you are doing yourself a service in the long run, and others’ snide remarks can’t stop you from continuing to learn and grow.

On the same token, be gracious to those who change their minds. No one has all the answers, and it’s okay to learn and evolve. In fact, it is healthy.

So, be fearless. Challenge your assumptions and be bold enough to get uncomfortable. It is only when we dare to step outside our comfort zones that we can truly expand our horizons and potentially change our points of view.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
NOW LIVE: CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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