Tag Archives: Margaret Smith life coach
June 9, 2021 The Danger of Always Raising the Bar
If you’re like many people I know, you have high expectations for yourself. You are likely more critical of your own mistakes and flaws than those of anyone else. You probably also find yourself wishing you could do more and be more on any given day. You’re constantly raising your personal bar and looking for your next mountain to climb.
Sound familiar?
If so, you just might be an over-achiever and a perfectionist. And that’s fine! There are a lot of us out there. We’re constantly trying to be everything for everyone. But that’s just not possible. And even if we’ve learned how to NOT spread ourselves too thin, there’s still the danger of constantly raising our personal expectations.
How can raising the bar be a bad thing?
On the surface, it’s perfectly fine to regularly raise our personal standards. Companies do it, so why not individuals? As you learn new skills and develop your talents, you’ll naturally start to improve, and when that happens, it’s logical to raise the bar. That’s all well and good—raising your personal bar keeps you constantly learning and improving—but this can turn into a problem if your bar-raising gets out of control.
For one, you might increase your personal expectations so much that they become nearly impossible to obtain. That, or you might find yourself toiling for extra hours or taking on more and more work to achieve your new standards. There’s a difference between a healthy challenge and a crushing workload. If you’re constantly feeling frazzled, anxious, or overwhelmed, your personal bar might have risen beyond your grasp.
The other part about bar-raising that can be damaging is failing to recognize your achievements. If you don’t take the time to occasionally pause and reflect on how much you’ve accomplished and how far you’ve come, you will always be feeling like you’re falling short. And I’m sure that’s not true! Think about everything you’ve learned and achieved over the years—all the projects you’ve completed, bridges you’ve built, and skills you’ve mastered. Think about where you are today compared to where you were five years ago. I’m sure you’ve grown and changed over that time, even if you can’t see the growth on the day-to-day.
Instead of constantly raising your personal bar, take the time to 1) reflect on and CELEBRATE your achievements and 2) set reasonable goals for the future. Take the future one step at a time, rejoice in your victories, and don’t let that bar get too far out of reach.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: danger of raising the bar, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith LP of Insights, overachieving and burnout, personal expectations too high, raising the bar too high
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Goals
April 28, 2021 Trouble focusing? Here are 6 ideas…
With so many distractions in today’s world, it is sometimes VERY difficult to concentrate. Add in the reality of working from home (something that has many of us blurring the lines between work time and personal time) and juggling multiple responsibilities, and it’s easy to see why so many of us are having difficulties focusing.
I won’t say I have THE solution for bringing focus to your life (people operate differently, of course, and there is no “one size fits all” solution), but I do have several ideas that could work. Try out a few, see what resonates with you, and keep at it. And if you start to lose focus down the road? Switch things up and try a new strategy!
1. Get Into Airplane Mode
If you have to do something that doesn’t require you to be online (writing a report, filling out an Excel spreadsheet, etc.), try putting your laptop and phone into airplane mode. Many of our distractions come from emails, social media, or mindless internet searches, and with the click of a button, you can make them all go away! It may seem odd at first to be disconnected, but it is also empowering and refreshing. Try spending an hour or so in airplane mode before popping back online.
2. Take Control of Emails
I’ve talked about emails in past blog posts (like this ONE) and how they tend to control our days. Instead of letting your inbox manage you, start taking charge of your inbox! Set a limit on the number of times you check and respond to emails (three times per day is a good place to start) and do your best to not get derailed by “urgent” requests. It’s not up to you to stomp out every little fire that crops up, AND it’s healthy to set clear email boundaries (like not responding after work hours).
3. Step Away
If you need to boost your motivation and focus, sometimes it’s a good idea to simply step away. Get up, leave your laptop, and go on a walk or read a book. Do something completely different for a while–something that will refresh and rejuvenate you. Even enjoying a cup of coffee or tea AWAY from your desk can be helpful. It’s all about the change of scenery and doing something non-work-related for a while.
4. Listen to Instrumental Music
Certain music can help boost your concentration and give you a burst of energy. Instrumental music can be especially good for focusing, because you won’t accidentally tune in to the lyrics! Try searching for epic movie soundtracks, ambient music, studying music, or binaural beats.
5. Exercise
Exercise is both a mood-booster and an energy-booster. If you’ve been feeling lethargic lately, try adding a few workouts into your weekly routine. Even if you’re not an “athletic type,” you can still find something that works for you. Start small. Go for brisk walks, practice some gentle yoga, or try zumba. There’s something out there that is right for you!
6. Set a Timer
One great way to increase productivity is to set a timer and JUST WORK. Try half an hour or forty-five minutes at first–something to get you going. Once the timer is running, commit to doing work, and only work. No checking your email, no surfing the web. Pick a task and do it! If your timer sounds and you feel like continuing your work, set another timer and keep going.
We all could use a little help with concentration these days. Pick a few of these methods and give them a try! And if you have any other approaches you’d like to share, I’d love to hear about them. Thank you!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: concentration methods and tips, focusing tips, help with concentration, ideas to boost focus, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Twin Cities
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Thrive at Work
April 21, 2021 The Best Free “Gifts” You Can Give to Others
Let me state right away that if you’re looking for a shopping list, this isn’t the article for you! The “gifts” that I’m talking about today have to do with time, intention, and kindness. To me, these types of gifts are worth far more than any purchases you could make. They center on humanity and creating a more harmonious workspace, home, neighborhood, and world.
My list includes 6 different gifts you can easily give to others. How might life change if we all attempted to give each other these gifts every day?
1. The gift of attentiveness
People can usually tell when you’re listening…and they can tell when you’re more interested in your phone, your grocery list, or whatever is on your laptop screen. Practice being present for others. Tuck your distractions away and give them your full, undivided attention. In a world brimming with distractions, your attentiveness is truly a valuable gift.
[For more on good listening practices, click here!]
2. The gift of punctuality
Show others that you respect them and their time by making an effort to be punctual. If you were meeting with the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, would you show up late? Almost certainly not! You wouldn’t dream of it. Then, why would you show up late for a Zoom meeting with a co-worker? That says something about how much you value and respect them and their time, doesn’t it? And if you are running late (it happens!), send a quick message to let that person know. It’s a quick and courteous thing to do.
3. The gift of follow-through
When you say you’re going to do something, do it. It really is that simple. Nothing can destroy trust faster than not following through with a promise. Conversely, if you do make an effort to stay true to your word, meet deadlines, and follow through, you will build yourself an excellent reputation. In other words, keeping your commitments is not only a gift to others, it is also a gift to yourself.
4. The gift of kind gestures
A small, kind gesture can make a world of difference. Help an elderly neighbor carry their groceries, tip your delivery driver well, give someone a compliment, donate a few dollars to a nonprofit or a “Go Fund Me.” When you wake up in the morning with the goal of practicing at least one or two acts of kindness, it makes your whole day better. You begin to think about opportunities to make positive change in the world, and THAT can improve your entire outlook on life.
5. The gift of gratitude
We often take the people in our lives for granted. Make an effort to say thank you for the little things, and genuinely mean it! Let others (your co-workers, your spouse, the cashier you regularly see at the grocery store) know that you appreciate their presence in your life.
When others go above and beyond, you may also want to send a handwritten thank you note to convey your gratitude. Let them know, specifically, why you appreciate them.
6. The gift of empathy
How might life improve if we all took the time to (at the very least) attempt to understand others? Even if you don’t quite understand another’s perspective, you can make a concerted effort to place yourself in their shoes, ask good questions, and try to empathize with their point of view. Before conversing with someone, do your best to set aside judgments and just listen. Even if you don’t end up agreeing, your efforts will open dialogues and create bridges.
Which gifts can you give others today? Pick a couple of items on this list, think about how you will incorporate them into your day, and start giving! Amazing things start to happen when we focus on being kind and understanding to others.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: best free gifts for others, free gifts of humanity, gift of attentiveness, gift of being present, Margaret Smith life coach, practice active empathy
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