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Tag Archives: Margaret Smith licensed Insights practitioner

Many organizations are still getting used to a work-from-home or hybrid workforce. Even if they use a variety of virtual technologies, that isn’t necessarily enough to create a level playing field between employees. Part of the reason some people may receive preferential treatment in today’s (often hybrid) environment is due to a subconscious tendency known as proximity bias.

What is Proximity Bias?

In short, proximity bias has to do with giving preference to those who are close by. The BBC describes proximity bias as “an unconscious – and unwise – tendency to give preferential treatment to those in our immediate vicinity.” Due to proximity, we might distribute projects or tasks unfairly, let certain people “have the floor” more often during meetings, or pay closer attention to those who are nearby…all without even realizing we’re doing it.

Humans are constantly seeking 1) shortcuts and 2) connections. Because of these tendencies, proximity bias is the most natural thing in the world. It’s easier to assign tasks or communicate with those who are in the office next door. And it’s easier to form connections when you’re in the same room as someone, rather than someone in the virtual space. Frankly, that is unfair to those who are unable to regularly be in the office for whatever reason (irregular childcare schedules, caretaking for an ailing loved one, an outlandishly long commute, etc.)

How do we change these impulsive tendencies?

How Do We Overcome Proximity Bias?

The first step is to build awareness.

Once you understand proximity bias and its implications, you can begin working to overcome it. Start paying attention to the interactions you have with those close by, as opposed to the interactions you have with virtual workers. Start questioning your preferences—who is assigned certain projects, who has the most air time during meetings, etc. Tuning in is the first step to making mindful, meaningful changes.

Secondly, normalize logging in.

Even if part of your team is sharing a conference room during a meeting, encourage everyone to log in to their own laptop. That way, you’re conducting one meeting (in the virtual space), instead of two meetings, and in-person participants won’t be able to strike up side conversations or give body language signals that the virtual attendees might not see. Logging in when you’re in the same room might seem awkward at first, but people will adapt (especially if you explain why it’s important to do so).

Third, make sure everyone has equal access to resources.

Files should be shared in a virtual space; action plans and notes should be digitized. To further combat proximity bias, it’s a good idea to promote virtual discussions/forums, rather than rely on casual hallway interactions. Besides, if you use online forums, you’ll have a digital record of ideas and discussions that could be useful going forward.

Fourth, balance in-person meetings/events with virtual ones.

When the office culture revolves around in-person lunches, activities, and get togethers, those who are working remotely are naturally left out. When that happens, their connection with the office and their co-workers (and, often, and their sense of loyalty to the company) diminishes. Instead, make a conscious effort to host online events just as often (or more often!) as in-person ones.

Proximity bias is a very real phenomenon, but it is possible to combat it. Even though it’s difficult to entirely erase this subconscious bias, we can all take mindful steps to minimize it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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It’s great to be happy. It’s wonderful to feel joy and hope. But does our society overemphasize these feelings? Judging by the plethora of self-help books, escapism social media, and online “happiness hacks,” that seems to be the case. Some sources have even called happiness a “cultural obsession.”

That may not seem like a bad thing on the surface, but it can have some unintended consequences. For one, if we’re constantly focused on obtaining happiness, we may not be fully present. We’re so focused on our happiness dreams, that we forget to appreciate what we have. As behavior expert Patrick Wanis says, “We place our happiness somewhere off in the future and therefore we’re never able to enjoy where we are now because we’re always thinking we’re only going to be happy when we get to be, do, or have something.”

Additionally, the expectation to be happy all the time is frankly unrealistic. We might logically know that our friends and acquaintances are not happy at all hours of the day—their lives are not flawless and worry-free—but that doesn’t stop us from viewing them that way. We constantly see pictures on Instagram or Facebook of happy, smiling people drinking cocktails, taking vacations, posing with their families, cooking perfect dishes, and we wonder why we don’t stack up. Why isn’t my life that happy? What am I doing wrong?

This is how obtaining happiness can become more of an obsession than a healthy pursuit. But what if we were to shift our focus so that happiness isn’t the end goal, but rather a fortunate side effect? That’s where “usefulness” comes into play.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

When we make ourselves useful through daily work, volunteerism, helping others, donating our dollars or time, etc., we de-emphasize happiness. We shift the focus from ourselves to others. That’s not to say self-care isn’t important (it is! And I’ve talked about that in several blogs posts), but focusing on others and living a purpose-driven life is just as important.

And, guess what? You’ll likely feel happiness anyway!

Doing your best work, volunteering, or caring for a sick friend can all be satisfying in their own way. Even though your end goal isn’t happiness, it’s a fortunate side effect that often accompanies living within your purpose or doing good deeds.

As a nation, it may do us all a lot of good to stop obsessing over happiness and start emphasizing usefulness. What might life look like if we dared to follow this pursuit?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

Her new eBook is called A Quick Guide to Courage
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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3 rocks stacked in rings of sand

Almost everyone experiences periods of heightened anxiety or frustration. Those periods might last a few minutes, or they could endure much longer. If you’re dealing with a situation that is causing increased stress, it’s never a good idea to ignore your feelings and hope that everything will get better. Instead, focus on ways to reduce your personal stress AND remove or diminish the sources of stress.

NOTE: If you’re experiencing long-term or severe anxiety, it’s best to seek help from a licensed therapist or psychiatrist. Your mental health is important and can affect nearly every aspect of your life.

So, how do you deal with short-term stress or anxiety? Here are 4 methods to try.

1. Practice a breathing technique

Breathing with intention is a great way to create a sense of calm and ease tension. You could practice yoga-style breathing, where you inhale deeply while focusing on expanding your lungs and belly, and then release your breath and let your diaphragm contract. Or, you could practice something neuroscientist Andrew Huberman calls a “physiological sigh.” Essentially, you inhale through your nose and hold your breath for a few seconds. Then, inhale again before releasing it and hold for a few more seconds. After that, exhale through your mouth in one strong puff. Learn how this breathing technique helps you in Dr. Huberman’s short video.

2. Remove yourself from the situation

Sometimes, the easiest and most effective way to calm your nerves is to remove yourself from the anxiety-inducing situation. That might mean excusing yourself from a team meeting or Zoom call, or stepping away from your laptop for a few minutes. Giving yourself distance can help you to collect your thoughts, take a few deep breaths, and plan how you’ll proceed.

3. Identify sources of stress

Is there something in your life that is repeatedly causing you stress? Maybe you’re involved in too many committees or volunteer groups. Maybe you tend to agree to projects, even when your plate is full. Or, perhaps, your source of stress is a person—a boss or co-worker who tends to email you at odd hours, overload your agenda with work, or make poor decisions for the company or your work team.

Whatever the case, it’s useful to trace back your stress to the source(s). Once you have a clear idea of what’s causing most of the tension in your work life, you can take steps to change it.

4. Set healthy boundaries

One way to take charge of your stressors is to set healthy boundaries. Set parameters for when and how often you’ll answer emails, phone calls, or virtual chat requests. Say “no” to projects when you have too much on your plate or when projects are not a good fit (click the link for 10 effective ways to say no). If someone is causing you undue stress, have the courage to meet with that person and communicate your frustrations. Be tactful and make suggestions on how to improve the situation.

You can take charge of workplace stress. Take time to consider your stressors, create a plan, and act! And when life gets frustrating, don’t be afraid to dismiss yourself from the situation, breath, go for a walk, or even read a few pages in a book—whatever it takes to reduce your stress and calm your nerves. Work should not be a place of constant stress.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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