Tag Archives: Margaret Smith business coach
April 5, 2023 Do You Overuse “I’m Sorry”?
As young children, most of us were taught good manners. Say please and thank you. Ask for permission. If you mess up or hurt someone, say, “I’m sorry.” While these lessons can be very helpful, sometimes they carry over into adulthood a little too strongly. Specifically, many of us end up apologizing for things that do not require an apology.
What do I mean?
Let’s say you’re in a meeting and someone presents incorrect data. You’re very familiar with the data that should have been presented, so you decide to speak up. Your inclination might be to say something like, “Sorry, but I have to weigh in here…” or “Sorry, but those numbers aren’t quite right…”
Who are you apologizing to? And why?
In truth, there’s no need to be sorry. You’re helping out the team by providing the correct data. The word “Sorry” makes it sound like you did something wrong or hurtful, when that isn’t the case. Instead, you might rephrase your statement to, “I’d like to provide some additional information…” or “If I may, I’d like to offer a different perspective…”
You also don’t need to apologize for technical difficulties, asking someone for clarification, or missing work due to an illness (or a child’s illness). Instead of saying, “Sorry, my microphone wasn’t working,” say, “Thank you for your patience while I dealt with tech issues.” Instead of saying, “Sorry I can’t come in today,” say, “I appreciate your flexibility.”
Why Do We Over Apologize?
There are a few different reasons why we might find ourselves overusing the word “Sorry.” We might be apologizing out of politeness or because we don’t want to impose on other people. We may not be sure of ourselves and feel like we need to back our statements up with an apology.
In some cases, apologizing too much can actually weaken our arguments. It gives off the perception that we are unsure of our statements, even if that’s not the case. It also takes away from our confidence and makes us come off as less assertive.
Women are especially guilty of “over apologizing.” A study by the University of Waterloo in Canada shows that women apologize much more frequently than men. The reason, they say, is because men “have a higher threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior.” Women, take note! Speaking up during a meeting probably isn’t offensive. Having a different opinion, or showing up a few minutes late, or sneezing during a meeting isn’t offensive.
Taking Back Your Power
If you feel that you overuse “I’m sorry” in situations that don’t require an apology, take a step back and analyze your speech patterns. Pay attention to how often you use the word and if you’re using it when it’s unnecessary.
From there, try to change your language. Instead of apologizing, opt for phrases like “Thanks for understanding” or “I appreciate it.” You’ll sound more confident and in control of the discussion. Plus, it won’t take away your power or make it look like you’re trying to diminish your authority.
It is important to understand when an apology is necessary, and when it is not. Being aware of our language and speech patterns can help us realize if we are overusing the phrase “I’m sorry.” Changing our language to sound more confident and in control can be a powerful tool for assertiveness, and re-phrasing our statements with phrases can help us take back the power in those situations. Practicing these techniques can help make sure we know when an apology is truly necessary.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: don't over apologize, don't overuse I'm sorry, Margaret Smith business coach, margaret smith career coach, women over apologize, women say I'm sorry, workplace apology
February 15, 2023 8 Ways to Boost Motivation in Winter Months
If you live in the upper part of the Northern Hemisphere, as I do, winter is beginning to drag. When that happens, people tend to get restless and it becomes difficult to focus. During the summer, it’s easy to step away from the computer, take a stroll, or enjoy a cup of coffee or tea on a patio. But during the winter, many of us do not have that kind of outlet.
So, what can you do? How can you stay motivated and productive during the winter months?
Try some of the following 8 tips:
Invest in seasonal hobbies.
You can make the winter months a lot more enjoyable when you invest in seasonal hobbies like skiing, snowshoeing, ice skating, or snowmobiling. Your activities could also take place indoors–perhaps this is the year you learn how to quilt or take your baking hobby to the next level. Find pastimes you enjoy and look forward to each week.
Take a winter vacation.
Travel can be a great way to boost motivation and energy levels. Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a longer vacation, you’re sure to come back feeling refreshed and energized. Read my past blog post on effectively prepping for a vacation so you can truly relax!
Schedule regular outdoor activities.
Despite the cold weather, there are plenty of activities you can do outside. Take a walk each morning, explore a local park with your family, or discover local attractions/events (In Minnesota, we have ice sculptures, ski events, ice mazes/palaces, and even an “art village” that pops up on a frozen lake).
Create a cozy workspace.
Invest in items that make your workspace comfortable and pleasant. Some ideas include a cozy blanket, a warm drink mug, comfortable slippers, and scented candles.
Set small goals and rewards.
Break up larger projects into smaller, achievable goals and set rewards for meeting those goals. This will help you stay motivated and on track with the project even if you’re not feeling especially motivated.
Invest in daylight/SAD lamps.
During the winter months, some people suffer from a lack of daylight, causing them to feel lethargic, unmotivated, or even depressed. Daylight lamps (sometimes known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) lamps) can help simulate natural light and provide energy-boosting vitamin D.
Join a support group.
Joining a support group can help reduce stress and provide motivation, especially when you’re feeling stuck. Check with your local community center, churches, or ask some trusted friends.
Take regular breaks.
Breaks can help to refresh and recharge your energy and motivation levels. Whether it’s a 10-minute break or a longer one, taking breaks throughout the day is vital for resetting your focus.
The winter months can be tough for everyone, but with these 8 tips you’ll be prepared to find motivation, stay productive, and make the most of the season!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.
Tags: boost work motivation during winter, improve winter motivaton, Margaret Smith business coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, stay active during winter, stay motivated during winter
- Leave a comment
- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Thrive at Work
January 25, 2023 Earning Respect Starts with Respecting YOURSELF
Have you ever been in a room with someone who commanded respect? They spoke in a self-assured way, and held themselves with confidence. When this person said something, people listened and took their ideas seriously. They seemed to be the very embodiment of confidence.
That self-assured person was probably able to command the respect of others because they respected themselves. When you show yourself a bit of self-love and appreciation, you demonstrate that you’re worthy of respect.
In short, respect starts with YOU. Before you can earn respect from other people, you need to learn to respect yourself. Respect is about understanding your own worth and appreciating your own values. This doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Everyone has flaws, but the way you handle those flaws clearly demonstrates whether you respect yourself or not.
An insecure or anxious person will dwell on their personal faults, but a person who respects themselves will simply acknowledge their shortcomings (if necessary) and move on.
To start building personal respect, try any or all of the following 6 steps:
1. Start improving your self-esteem.
Take some time to recognize your good qualities and accomplishments. Think of how capable you are of achieving your goals, and how you can use your strengths to benefit yourself and others.
Once you’ve built up your self-respect, you can work on expressing it outwardly. Speak positively about yourself and show gratitude for the successes and accomplishments you’ve achieved. Be proud of who you are!
2. Know your limits.
Respect yourself by recognizing your limitations and being honest about your capabilities. If you know you don’t have the time or capacity to take on a project, say “no.” If you’re tired of answering emails after hours, draw a line in the sand and stick to your policy. (Read more about setting healthy boundaries.)
3. Seek meaningful relationships.
Prioritize relationships that are supportive, positive, and beneficial. Respect yourself by rejecting interactions that don’t serve you emotionally.
4. Find your own happiness.
People who respect themselves don’t rely on the approval of others. Instead, they seek out their own sources of happiness and satisfaction. Define your own values and work to live according to them.
5. Make healthy choices.
Respect yourself by making choices that are in your best interest. You don’t always have to say “yes” to be liked, and you don’t have to please everyone. Reject things that aren’t in alignment with your objectives, values, or vision.
6. Forgive your mistakes.
Nobody’s perfect, and that’s okay! Respect yourself by not getting too bogged down by mistakes or failures. An essential part of respecting yourself is being kind to your mistakes and being willing to learn from them.
In conclusion, respect starts with YOU. Show yourself respect, and others will follow suit. Learn to accept yourself, practice self-love, and set boundaries that protect your own well-being. When you start to respect yourself, others will take notice and show you the same respect in turn.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.
Tags: earn respect from peers, earning respect starts with you, gain respect from coworkers, gaining respect at work, Margaret Smith business coach, margaret smith career coach, respect yourself to earn respect
- Leave a comment
- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Thrive at Work
UXL Blog 