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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: Margaret Smith business coach

September 11, 2024 How to Make Feedback Feel Empowering

As a leader, a work colleague, or a member of any kind of team or committee, feedback is essential. It is not helpful to let bad behavior, misguided ideas, or poor performance slip through the cracks. Providing constructive feedback is a key part of helping people improve and grow. However, it’s important to deliver that feedback in a way that feels empowering rather than demoralizing.

How can you achieve this balancing act? How can you motivate others, rather than make them feel frustrated or annoyed? I suggest the following:

Be Specific

Focusing on specific areas of improvement and providing ideas for achieving those improvements is crucial for making feedback feel empowering. Vague or generalized feedback can leave the recipient feeling confused or uncertain about what they need to do. Be clear and direct about the behaviors or outcomes you want to see changed or improved.

Mix the Good and Bad

It is just as helpful to let people know what they are doing well as it is to identify areas for improvement. Providing a balanced perspective shows that you recognize their strengths and are not just focusing on the negatives. This can make the feedback feel more constructive and less like a personal attack.

Some people use the “feedback sandwich” approach, where you first provide positive feedback, then the constructive criticism, and then end with more positive feedback. This can help the recipient feel validated and motivated to improve, but make sure you’re not sounding too scripted when offering this type of feedback.

Offer Suggestions

In addition to identifying specific areas for improvement, offer concrete suggestions for how the person can make those changes. Provide resources, examples, or step-by-step guidance to help them understand what they need to do differently. These actionable steps (as opposed to vague ideas) can help provide a clear plan of action.

Convey Your Confidence in the Other Person

Author and researcher, Daniel Pink, says that when we give feedback it is important to convey our confidence in the other person’s abilities. When we demonstrate our unwavering belief in another, this serves to bolster and support that person, rather than make them feel badly about themselves. He suggests saying, “I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.” This simple sentence conveys your faith in the person’s potential and your desire to help them improve.

Define Goals and Expectations

Clearly defined goals are crucial if you want your feedback to make an impact. Outline specific, measurable objectives that the recipient can work towards. This gives them a clear path forward and a sense of purpose. Additionally, be transparent about your expectations so there is no confusion about the desired outcomes. When people understand exactly what is expected of them, they are more likely to feel motivated to make the necessary improvements.

Ultimately, the goal of feedback is to help people grow and develop, not to criticize or put them down. By framing feedback in a positive, constructive manner, you can make others feel empowered rather than sullen or demoralized. This approach demonstrates your investment in the person’s success and your belief in their potential to improve. With the right mindset and delivery, feedback can become an invaluable tool for development.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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June 5, 2024 How to Set the Stage for a Tough Conversation (4 Ways)

As a leader, tough conversations are inevitable. There will come a point when you’ll need to deliver some less-than-great news, provide negative feedback, or make a difficult request. And avoiding these types of tough conversations is NOT the answer. In many cases, the more you delay, the more difficult the discussion will be once you eventually have it.

However, it IS possible to effectively set the stage for tough interactions. This will help to soften any difficult blows and provide a safe space for feedback, commentary, and questions. Let’s talk about four ways to set the stage for tough conversations.

Choose an Appropriate Time and Setting

Where and when you decide to meet can make a huge difference. When talking about a sensitive issue, it is best to find a quiet, comfortable, and private place to speak. Make sure to choose a time when both parties will be free from distractions and able to focus on the conversation. This will ensure a more productive and respectful dialogue. By setting the stage appropriately, you create an atmosphere conducive to open communication and problem-solving. Additionally, being mindful of the environment can help create a sense of safety and comfort, encouraging honesty and transparency during tough conversations.

Be Transparent

When inviting someone to engage in a difficult conversation, it is usually best to be transparent and clear about the purpose of the conversation. This transparency will help to avoid confusion and set the right expectations. Clearly stating the reason for the discussion allows both parties to prepare mentally and emotionally. It also establishes trust and shows respect for the other person’s time and feelings. Open communication from the start fosters a more constructive and meaningful dialogue.

Prepare

Before engaging in the conversation, it is essential to prepare yourself for a variety of questions and reactions. Anticipate what the other person might ask or what pushback they might have. Consider different scenarios and prepare appropriate responses. I encourage you to practice out loud in front of a mirror, even if that seems a little odd at the time! It really does help. This preparation will help you stay composed and focused during the conversation. Being mentally ready for various outcomes demonstrates your commitment to handling the tough conversation effectively. Moreover, preparation allows you to convey your message clearly and logically, reducing the chances of misunderstandings or conflicts. Remember, the more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll be in navigating challenging discussions.

Commit to Empathy

In my experience, the most productive conversations are ones in which both parties feel that they are listened to, respected, and understood. Make a commitment to enter the conversation with empathy. That means actively listening, asking appropriate questions, and aiming for understanding. Ensuring that both parties feel heard and valued fosters a collaborative environment where tough conversations can lead to growth and improved relationships. By showing empathy, you create a safe space for open dialogue, allowing each person to express themselves honestly and without judgment.

Remember, the goal of these conversations is not only to address challenges but also to strengthen trust and understanding between individuals. Practicing empathy can transform difficult discussions into opportunities for positive change and progress.

While it’s never fun to engage in a tough conversation, it is often necessary to do so in order to clear the air, make positive progress, and/or benefit the organization. By approaching your difficult conversations with empathy and tact, you can create a more positive outcome that leads to growth and understanding.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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April 10, 2024 Developing Your Patience for Better Business

We are a society of instant gratification and quick rewards. We order a package from Amazon, it arrives within a day or two. We want to watch a show, we switch to our streaming platform of choice and tune in. We want a meal, we order online and receive it at our doorstep. With so many ways to instantly satisfy our needs and wants, many of us have forgotten how to practice patience.

Patience is a crucial attribute in both our personal and business lives. It can help us weather storms, create robust strategies, and maintain a sense of calm. When we’re patient, we also tend to be gentler and more civil to those around us, from the overworked barista to the co-worker who is juggling multiple responsibilities.

In my experience, patience is absolutely an asset when it comes to business. A patient leader…

…takes the time to get to know their team members.

…invests in skill-building training.

…collects data and gives projects a chance before changing course.

…strategizes and considers options before jumping in.

…recognizes that development and progress may take time (and celebrates small victories along the way).

Believe it or not, patience is a skill you can develop. Some people may be innately less patient than others—looking at you “red energy” and “yellow energy” folks (see my post on Insights® Discovery if you don’t get that reference)! However, all people can improve their patience. I suggest building patience with the following four steps:

Develop Awareness

The first step to becoming more patient is to recognize when you’re being inpatient or impulsive. Start noticing when you’re being short with others, or you’re tempted to make a decision or take an action before you have all the information. Once you start becoming aware of your own impatience, you can begin to correct this tendency.

Start Practicing

Start practicing patience in small, daily interactions. Pause before reacting to minor inconveniences, give people more time to express themselves fully, and allow projects to unfold at their natural pace. Over time, these small adjustments will become habits, and you’ll find yourself naturally more patient in various situations.

Challenge Yourself to Go One Step Further

After practicing daily patience, it’s a good idea to challenge yourself to apply it to more significant situations. When faced with a tough decision or a challenging project, consciously choose to approach it with patience. Allow the process to unfold without rushing to conclusions or taking shortcuts. When you’re tempted to give into an impulse say to yourself, “I can go just one step further.” That might mean waiting another day, asking one more person for advice, or doing just one more hour of research.

Recognize This Takes Time

As you’re developing your patience, you’ll have to (ironically) be patient with your progress! Developing a new skill takes time and consistent effort. Celebrate the small victories along the way, acknowledging that progress won’t happen overnight. But with concerted effort, you will eventually build this skill.

Patience is a virtue that can enhance your leadership skills, decision-making abilities, and overall well-being. Remember, by developing your patience, you’re not just benefiting yourself but also fostering a more positive and productive environment for those around you. Embrace the journey of building patience and enjoy the transformative impact it can have on your personal and professional life.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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