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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: Lifelong Learning

April 3, 2013 About That Thing You’ve Been Meaning To Do: Now Is The Time

We’ve all thought something like this before: “I’ll get that project going soon, but I can’t now because I’m behind on bills, I have to focus on work, and chores around the house are piling up…”

…And in this way we continue to neglect “that project.” The project itself is going to differ from person to person. For some it might be getting an exercise regiment in place, for others maybe it’s taking an adventurous trip to another country and culture, and for still others it could be taking a risk and changing careers. But I’m willing to bet that you–yes, you–have something in mind that you want to do, mean to do, and need to do.

The thing that keeps us from tackling our big project is a bit of faulty thinking. You see, we tend to think that our present circumstances, no matter what they are, aren’t perfect enough for us to get going on our project. Once we get a few things in order and get our mind geared up, then we’ll be able to pursue our big idea. But not now, oh no. There are far too many things in disarray now.

And that’s the faulty thinking. Our present situation always seems to be in disarray because, well, life is sort of a mixed bag of unpredictable factors all thrown at you at random. I’ve experienced this enough for myself to know that there is no such thing as “getting things all in order.” By that I mean that paying your bills won’t make more bills stop coming. Cleaning your house once won’t make it stay clean forever. You may be in a rough patch now, emotionally, physically or mentally, but that is part of the roller coaster ride of life.

So what am I saying? Essentially this: now is always the time to go for it, because “perfect” circumstances don’t exist.

If you’re honest with yourself, you will see that neglecting that big thing you envision on the grounds that “you’re not ready” is really just an excuse born out of fear of failure.

I challenge you to act on your “big thing,” whatever it is, today. Even if that means one small, concrete step in the direction of your goal, I’m confident that moving toward it will empower you. Tomorrow will bring more challenges, setbacks, and unpredictable snafu’s, yes, but that’s okay. You can navigate through them.

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March 27, 2013 Happiness Leads To Success (And Not The Other Way Around)

We tend to think that if we get that job, if we get that promotion, if we find our true love etc., etc., etc., then we will finally be completely, permanently happy.

But this is not true!

Shawn Achor, founder of Good Think Inc., explains why the success-then-happiness formula just plain does not work:

“Every time we hit a success, our brain moves the goalpost of where success is.”

You’ve surely experienced this for yourself. You got a job, for instance, and were elated…for a moment. Then your brain instantly went to the next step. “Okay, you got the job, but are you prepared for the job? Do you have all the resources needed to excel in the job? Is this even the right job for you? Will it lead to better opportunities?”

And in this way you went from feeling accomplished to feeling anxious, all in the blink of an eye.

You can see why grounding your happiness in your successes can become a problem.

The solution to this, although it may be much harder practiced than preached, is to reverse the order of success and happiness. Says Achor:

“If you reverse the formula by pursuing happiness first, you wind up with greater happiness and success.”

The science behind it all? As Achor explains, happiness releases dopamine in the brain. This chemical both leads you to seek out more happiness, and also “turns on every learning center in the brain,” thereby making you three times as creative. As we know, creativity tends to lead to success.

At first I thought this whole reversal of the formula thing sounded a bit too simple to be true. But it’s simplicity is what makes it a challenge to enact in real life. Our culture reinforces the idea that success is the answer to happiness all the time. We treat celebrities like royalty, because they have all the things society tells us give us happiness. At the end of almost any Hollywood movie, the protagonist overcomes a great obstacle and rides off into the sunset, where we are to assume that their success will give them contentment for the rest of their days.

Okay, so success doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness. But how do you reverse the formula?

“As I’ve come to see it, happiness is a work ethic…Happiness isn’t something that happens to you. Happiness is created.”

1. Journal. Your brain works in patterns. If you focus on negative aspects, your brain will form a worldview of negativity, which will become your default setting. By taking time out of your day to write down a few positive things in your life, you will slowly retrain your brain to see the positives. You’ll be happier.

2. Serve, Give, Love. Unhappy people are almost always turned inward. We are social creatures, made to interact. Although it may sound like the worst possible thing to do when you’re at your unhappiest, reaching out to others, serving your community, and building other people up will give you a greater sense of meaning and self-worth.

3. Pause. Our instinct when we are stressed is to push ourselves harder. This actually neglects the underlying problem by giving us an excuse in the form of a distraction. Force yourself to stop and be still. Perhaps this is the time for you to journal. Let go of your troubles, even if for a moment.

Achor, Shawn. “Scientific Proof That Happiness Is A Choice.” Accessed March 27, 2013. http://www.nextavenue.org/blog/scientific-proof-happiness-choice

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March 6, 2013 Speak Up! The Growing Need for Great Public Speakers

From a leadership standpoint, the ability to speak before people–and do it well–is one of the most invaluable skills you can possess.

Yet most of us have trouble getting up in front of a crowd, which is completely normal. I was terrified when I first began giving talks, and I’m sure my early talks had a lot of room for improvement. But now, because I speak so often, speaking before a group doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve been tweaking my skills for the past few years, and one of the most rewarding feelings is knowing that I’ve effectively captivated an audience.

Toastmasters is a world-wide organization that trains people in public speaking. They offer a few tips that help beat the initial fear we get right before it’s time to step up in front of a crowd.

1. Know Your Material. They suggest that you speak on things you’re truly interested in, and know more about it than you include in your speech.

2. Practice. And practice out loud, at the volume you plan on speaking, and repeat the speech over and over, until you’ve memorized it entirely.

3. Relax. Monitor your breathing and any tension you might be harboring in your shoulders. Keep your breathing steady and slow, and try to keep your muscles loose.

4. Don’t apologize for any mistake you make during your speech. The audience probably didn’t notice it.

5. The audience is on your side. It’s easy to slip into the thinking that the audience is hostile to anything you have to say, which is absurd. They wouldn’t be sitting there if they weren’t interested. They want you to succeed.

Being comfortable in front of a group lets you most aptly convey your personal brand to many people at once. In person, you can show your true personality, your speaking style, and the things that really make you excited. Doing this well takes practice, but it is one of the better ways of promoting your ideas.

Give it a try!

Reference

http://www.toastmasters.org/tips.asp

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