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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: Lifelong Learning

January 29, 2014 How Traveling Boosts Personal Growth

Some of my best memories come from the trips I’ve taken. Whether I’m remembering cozy summers with the family on the ocean, or adventurous backpacking endeavors in college, all my travels have left me with nostalgic, warm feelings.

And that’s great. But it’s not the complete picture, is it? I’m sure if I really tried, I could remember all the things that were stressful, exhausting, and uncomfortable; in other words, the inevitable parts of traveling we like to ignore.

So while I love the memories traveling provides me, it’s meant to do much more than simply create fuzzy feelings.

Traveling recalibrates our expectations and assumptions about life. When we stay in one routine for long periods of time, tunnel vision takes over. Without even realizing it, we begin to assume that all life has to offer is what’s right in front of us in our particular circumstance. Traveling wipes this clean when we see all the differences, big and small, between places and cultures. There are many ways of doing life. Traveling both inspires us to try new things and forces us to investigate our own lifestyles.

Traveling gives us the chance to test ourselves. This might mean a physical challenge such as a long hike, a mental challenge like learning a new language or familiarizing yourself with cultural customs, or the general challenge of relinquishing your sense of control as you navigate your way through new spaces and experiences. A family friend told me that after spending time in Colombia, she no longer found herself worrying as much about the trivial stresses of everyday life, because her experience abroad proved she was capable of handling all sorts of challenges. This is the kind of personal growth traveling provides.

Traveling forces us to prioritize. You can’t fit every trinket and comfort you own in a suitcase. You have to instead focus on what you really need to make your travels special for you. You’ll take this mindset home with you. How can you simplify your life at home to optimize your priorities?

Traveling doesn’t have to be long and grandiose to be meaningful. Take a train ride through the country, spend a weekend  biking or camping, or coordinate a roadtrip to historical sites in your area with friends and family. As long as it transports you to new experiences, your adventure can be almost anything.

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January 14, 2014 All Eyes On You: Are You Clutch Or Do You Choke?

More than a few people have told me that they marvel at my ability to speak in front of large groups of people with ease. Different versions of “how do you do it?” are the most common questions I get, as they can’t seem to wrap their heads around how a person can remain so calm and composed with all eyes on them.

The truth is, there is rarely a time when I don’t feel anxious leading up to a speaking engagement. I too get the staple sweaty palms, shortness of breath and a heart rate going a mile a minute. Getting nervous before taking the stage is an almost universal experience.

So how do I, or anyone else who does a lot of public speaking, appear composed even while anxious? As boring as it is, the answer is practice. I’ve done it over and over again, and I’ve paid attention to the mistakes I’ve made during past speaking events. Each talk becomes more manageable and less daunting, and usually once I get a couple minutes in, it’s off to the races.

But more generally, what we’re really talking about here is performance under pressure. Clearly, we all experience it and face it in our jobs and in other aspects of our lives, yet some of us seem more adept at handling and overcoming it, while others struggle with the tendency to “choke.”

To Choke Is No Joke

We’ve all seen a breakdown occur, whether it’s witnessing a public speaker fall apart once they hit the stage, sitting through a coworker stumble through a presentation, or simply watching an athlete buckle under the pressure in an overtime game on TV. Recently, the popular film director Michael Bay fell apart on stage at a Samsung press conference after an apparent teleprompter failure:

Case in point: these chokes are hard to watch. That’s because we can empathize with the dreaded feeling of drawing a blank at the exact moment we’re supposed to perform.

There Is Hope For The Choker

Buckling under pressure doesn’t mean you’re weak. It has nothing to do with your skills, talents, or your worth. What it does indicate is that you have the problem of over-thinking the situation at the moment it is happening. Chokers tend to over-worry and obsess over how they’re performing and appearing as they give a speech, a presentation or shoot a free throw. Clutch performers, on the other hand, are able to eliminate all the extra chatter in their heads and focus on the task.

Sports psychologists have found that those struggling with performing under pressure get help by focusing on other things while they perform the task in question. Golfers, for instance, might concentrate on their favorite song while they swing. This helps them find their flow, that point we hit our peak performance efficiency.

Quick takeaway:

1. Practice gives you the confidence to manage your nerves

2. Focusing on pleasant, calming thoughts can help minimize obsessive, distracting thoughts and increase “flow”

3. A little nerves serve as motivation! Take comfort in the fact that your nervousness is proof that you care

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December 12, 2013 3 Ways To Build Community In Your Life

I was once approached by a colleague with a very unexpected and uncomfortable suggestion: he thought I should distance myself from a particular co-worker and went as far as to suggest that by associating with this other female colleague, I was actually hurting my career.

I believe that this man was speaking from a place of genuine interest in my well-being—he thought he was doing me a favor. I knew that the person with which he wanted me to stop associating had, as of late, lost some of upper management’s support. However, I perceived this recent lack of support to be due to misunderstanding, not due to a lack of skills or business acumen. I found this person to be extremely intelligent and was learning a lot from her. So, as much as she was a personal friend, she was also someone who was teaching and guiding me with her experience and education.

Instead of accepting my colleague’s advice, I decided to respond by sharing the positive things about my relationship with this particular female co-worker. I described what I learned and valued as a result of associating with her and attempted to show a side of this person to him that he did not know. I asked him, “What better choice than to befriend someone who challenges my thinking and exposes me to things that she has learned and experienced that I have not?”

I share this story to illustrate just how hard being a part of a community can be. You will encounter people who try to sabotage the relationships you’re trying to build, and learning how to handle this gracefully can be quite the challenge. It comes as no surprise that strong communities are built upon respect, reciprocity, and courageous leadership, but how do we go about achieving this? How do we overcome the naysayers and saboteurs?

Author, speaker and consultant Peter Block shares some insight into how healthy communities are formed. Take a peek at this clip from one of his talks:

As Block says, strong communities…

1. Center on people’s gifts and strengths, and give them a space to flourish.

2. Are localized, within walking distance. Keep your community close, if not geographically, then on a personal level. Shoot for that small town feel, where everyone knows your name and everyone’s got something valuable to bring to the table.

3. Disregard labels, encourage genuine interaction. Official titles and bureaucracies are a sure way to kill community. While necessary, don’t let labels define your community. People are not numbers and labels.

Seeing past the labels and looking at personal strengths is what allowed me to defend my coworker using examples of her positive attributes. I’m glad I stuck up for her, because as I suspected, she turned out to be a great teammate and friend. Applying these three simple ideas to your community–whether in your neighborhood or in your office–will transform a stale environment into a dynamic one.

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