UXL Blog

Many things in life are out of our control. We cannot choose the weather, or magically erase traffic jams, or guarantee that our co-worker (or spouse, cashier, or client) is in a good mood today. Sometimes your tire will go flat. Sometimes a project will flop or an initiative will not be well-received. Although we certainly cannot pull all of life’s strings, we are not entirely helpless. Some things still fall within our sphere of influence.

One of the most important things we can control is how we respond to situations. If, for example, a co-worker has failed to meet a project deadline, we can lash out, send an angry email, or talk about that person behind their back. Or, we could take a more tactful approach—one revolving around kindness and empathy. Instead of getting angry, we can sit down with that person, talk about what happened, and attempt to gain a better understanding of why the deadline was not met. Maybe the co-worker had a family emergency, or a personal health scare. Or maybe they simply saw the deadline as a suggestion, rather than a firm end date.

When you talk to this person, you can also tell them how you feel, and how missing the deadline affected you, other co-workers, and the company as a whole. In short, by choosing to be kind, you start a dialogue. You begin to build a bridge between yourself and the other person, rather than erecting a wall between the two of you.

Kindness, patience, and understanding are powerful tools, both in the workplace and in daily life. When you adopt an attitude of kindness, you’re more likely to have productive conversations and interactions. On the other hand, when you’re frustrated or short with someone, they will probably reciprocate that frustration, which can lead to a tense, unpleasant, and unproductive interaction.

Kindness is great for problem-solving, too. In an atmosphere where kindness rules, people feel safe to share their ideas, even if they’re outside the norm. Brainstorming sessions become less stressful and more effective. This goes for other types of problem-solving too. If your car breaks down on the side of the road, you can be as angry as you’d like (and sometimes letting off steam does feel good), but that doesn’t solve anything. It’s better to take a breath, take a step back, and assess the situation. Be kind to yourself as you figure out what to do.

We have the opportunity to respond with kindness every single day. This coming week, I challenge you to turn up your kindness dial and see how the world changes around you. How will cashiers or baristas respond when you’re patient and cheerful? How will your family react to your efforts to be more present and caring? What if you chose to be as kind and empathetic as possible in the workplace?

In my experience, kindness opens doors and builds bridges. How might it change your world?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: choosing kindness, choosing to be kind, kindness and your sphere of influence, kindness at work, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith LP of Insights