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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: Improving Leadership

March 23, 2013 Dealing Out Direct Criticism: Often Unpleasant, Always Important

Here in Minnesota especially, we go out of our way to avoid unpleasant confrontation. In fact, many Minnesotans go to extravagant, almost comical lengths to avoid having to engage another person when doing so might bring out anger, hurt feelings or raised voices.

In many ways, this tendency isn’t bad. Minnesotans are very in tune with other people’s feelings, and are thus extremely empathetic and understanding. They want to keep everyone’s self-esteem in tact, and would much prefer to build people up than knock them down.

This behavior gets to be a problem, however, when giving criticism is necessary. Simply put, we all mess up, and we all need to be confronted at times when our faults get in the way of other people’s ability to lead successful lives.

Of course, I’m speaking in pretty general terms. Not all Minnesotans are non-confrontational or passive aggressive. But it is a stereotype that contains some truth, which is why I’d like to talk about it today.

An article in The Harvard Business Review points to the consequences of being overly casual in criticism: “A too-polite veneer often signals an overly politicized workplace: Colleagues who are afraid to speak honestly to people’s faces do it behind their backs. This behavior exacts a price.”

In other words, criticism will find its way into the workplace somehow. It is better to deal with it openly and honestly than to allow it to fester in the form of gossip and passive-aggression.

The biggest problem I see with people both giving and receiving criticism is their failure to separate their performance with their whole being. A comforting fact to remember is that when you must criticize (and to be a good leader, you must) you are never tearing down a person’s inner self. On the contrary, good criticism is meant as a way to strengthen the individual.

The best criticism is direct. It is not sandwiched between compliments. It does not rely upon outside explanation. It never comes from an emotional area; it is fact-based.

We all have trouble doing this well. To work on your direct criticism skills, consider the following tips.

1. Use Active Sentences. “You need to work on meeting your deadlines.” “I am counting on you to improve your attitude in regards to dealing with our customers.”

Not “If the invoices could be completed a bit sooner, that would be great.” This criticism is shrouded in vagueness regarding who should complete the invoices, how much sooner, and why this is necessary.

2. Be Specific. Provide facts and reasons for your criticism. Connect the specific areas that you feel need improvement with the bigger picture.

3. Don’t feel the need to feel bad or apologize. Giving criticism calmly and confidently shows the individual that for one thing, it is not a personal attack, and for another, that you are assured in the necessity of providing this criticism. You are doing this because you want the person to succeed.

Making this a habit opens the door to real, honest communication between members of an organization. This in turn makes the environment better-suited for productivity, clarity and trust.

Ferrazzi, Keith. “Candor, Criticism, Teamwork.” Harvard Business Review, January-February 2012. Accessed March 23, 2013. http://hbr.org/2012/01/candor-criticism-teamwork/ar/1

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August 21, 2012 What the Beach Teaches You About Leadership

By Margaret Smith, UXL: Creating Successful Leaders
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

For me the ocean is a magical place where I can relax and get lost in the consistency and the power of the waves. It’s also a place where I witness amazing imagination in other people and a calm that doesn’t exist in their everyday world.

I recently spent two weeks on the beach in Delaware where my family has a house. It’s become a tradition for family and friends to gather there for the last two weeks of July. I’m never quite sure whose car will pull in the driveway or where they will sleep, but that’s the fun of being ‘at the beach’. It always works out and there always seems to be plenty of food and floor space!

It may come as a surprise, but the beach turned out to be offer a lot more than sun, water, and sand. I actually observed a lot of amazing leadership truths while I relaxed and watched.

What the Beach Teaches You About Leadership:

1. Be Open: As they say, “if you build it, they will come.” Start building a tradition today—the memories are priceless. You may also find you have more friends than you realized and the laughter outpaces the ice making. My family came from Colorado, Georgia, Virginia, and Pennsylvania (we came from Minnesota, but that doesn’t count!). High school and college friends showed up, even just for a day. It was a treat to look west and see someone who we hadn’t seen in a year crossing the dunes laden with an umbrella, chairs, and sunscreen!

2. Get Outdoors: The ocean is entertainment for all ages.  A pile of sand and the mystery of the next wave brings out the child in everyone. Young children, parents who probably are difficult to pull away from their blackberry, and grandparents all mix it up on the beach. It was the real great American get together.

3. Take Risks: One morning I was taking a walk at the water’s edge and observed a mother with her three children. I would guess her kids were around 5 to 8 years old, and they were all preparing to take on the waves. Their mother was giving them instructions on how to jump and dive to avoid getting blasted and thrown up on the shore like the sea shells they had been picking up. As she dove into water that was roaring and foaming and changing depths she yelled, “Come on go for it!” The look on their faces read, “Are you kidding?! I can’t see the bottom, I don’t know what is out there… It goes on forever! Is she nuts?” Despite their fears, they soon go the hang of it.

Later, I saw the children’s mother yelling at them ‘ot to walk back to their beach house alone. The oddness of her concern about walking to the house vs. jumping into this massive, ferocious looking body of water that they knew nothing about struck me. The ocean has the power to make taking risks a good thing.

4. Challenge Yourself: I love watching the Olympics, and I could see the same energy and challenge of the Olympics demonstrated all along the beach. Volleyball became popular, with nets going up every 100 yards, girls doing cartwheels, races being held, new games being created, and all in the spirit of healthy competition and the creativity. We sure are capable of new ideas when we’re not glued to a screen. In here lies a strong message for all of us: Move a little and accept a new challenge.

5. Pitch In: You carry so much stuff to the beach for the day and everyone needs to pitch in. And, just as soon as we get it out there, we have to help carry it back to the house (and it never fits as well when it’s full of sand!). Even the smallest in the family helped and felt like an important part of the team. Many times we observed people reaching out  to help someone laden with beach supplies and sandy kids make it over the dunes. We’re all in ‘this’ together—it’s a lot more fun with some help.

Thanks for listening. I can’t wait until next year!

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February 14, 2012 Do You Know Your Leadership Style?

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

There isn’t a single specific trait that makes you a great leader. Instead, there are many different traits that make a person a good source of guidance, encouragement, and direction—and every leader embodies their own unique combination of strengths.

“Every leader has a particular style of leadership that is innate. However, the behaviors, attitudes, or methods of delivery that are effective for one staff member may in fact be counterproductive for another,” says MSR Communications Account Supervisor Michael Burke.

What Burke is getting at here is embodied in an important question: Are you aware of your own leadership style, and do you make an effort to learn how this style actually comes across to your team?

Before you start to consider the traits of a great leader, make an effort to examine your own special brand of leadership. Below I’ve listed some of the top leadership traits named by leadership professionals—look for traits that currently represent your style, and use these traits as a reminder of what you’re all about at work and in life!

  • Honesty
  • Focus
  • Passion
  • Respect
  • Persuasiveness
  • Confidence
  • Clarity
  • Care
  • Integrity
  • Humility
  • Collaborative
  • Empowering
  • Fearlessness
  • Compassion
  • Shared Visionary
  • Engaging
  • Self-Aware
  • Genuine
  • Flexible
  • Supportive

Need help discovering your leadership brand? Contact me today to learn about how Insights Discovery and Career Coaching can transform your career and your life.

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