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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: How to Change Your Life

April 17, 2013 Is It The Job, Or Your Attitude?

We spend at least 40 hours a week at our job. That’s almost one third of our waking lives. So we better darn well get satisfaction from all that time and effort.

To recap on last week, Cal Newport’s book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You highlights three components that result in job satisfaction:

Autonomy – feeling like you have some control of your job, and that your actions make a difference

Competence – knowing that you are good at what you do

Relatedness – being able to connect with your coworkers

Newport contrasts these “ingredients,” as he calls them, with the pervasive belief that passions lead to success. Instead of following your passions, Newport argues that becoming very good at what you do, and knowing that it makes a difference, transforms a droll job into a rewarding career.

But let’s narrow the focus today to you and your job. Do you feel you have control of your own work? Does it make a difference? Are you valued? And can you relate with your coworkers?

Answering these honestly will give you a clue as to why you may feel dissatisfied with your work.

From here, the first thing to do is to take ownership of your skills. You can blame your job and your circumstances all you like, and you may have good reasons to do so. But this won’t change a thing. Become determined, if only for your own satisfaction, to master the skills needed to excel in your field.

There is no excuse not to work toward mastery, because no one has ever mastered anything completely. Take Jiro Ono, for instance. Widely considered the best sushi chef in the world, 85 year old Ono tirelessly pursues perfection in his craft, as depicted in the award-winning documentary, “Jiro Dreams Of Sushi.” His age and position in the culinary world don’t deter him from chasing after perfection.

So, you can always get better. While at work, take a personal inventory of areas in which you need to improve, and occupy your day with trying to master the skills your job requires. You feel better when you know that your work is valued and desired. Aim to be sought after.

Second, look at your past to boost your confidence about your present situation. Leadership coaches Amy Jen Su and Muriel Maignan Wilkins write: “To strengthen your confidence, first face the facts. When you look to your past, you’ll realize that successes often outweigh failures. And more importantly, that you survived through the failures and gleaned priceless lessons along the way.”

Looking back puts things in perspective. You may just realize that although your present job may not be ideal (and no job is), you have it now because of your accomplishments, qualifications and perseverance leading up to where you are now. This should give you some confidence and reassurance of your decisions.

References

Newport, Cal. So Good They Can’t Ignore You. New York: Hachette Book Group, 2012.

Su, Amy Jen, and Muriel Maignan Wilkins. “To Strengthen Your Confidence, Look to Your Past.” Harvard Business Review, April 11, 2013. Accessed April 17, 2013. http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/04/to_strengthen_your_confidence.html

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April 3, 2013 About That Thing You’ve Been Meaning To Do: Now Is The Time

We’ve all thought something like this before: “I’ll get that project going soon, but I can’t now because I’m behind on bills, I have to focus on work, and chores around the house are piling up…”

…And in this way we continue to neglect “that project.” The project itself is going to differ from person to person. For some it might be getting an exercise regiment in place, for others maybe it’s taking an adventurous trip to another country and culture, and for still others it could be taking a risk and changing careers. But I’m willing to bet that you–yes, you–have something in mind that you want to do, mean to do, and need to do.

The thing that keeps us from tackling our big project is a bit of faulty thinking. You see, we tend to think that our present circumstances, no matter what they are, aren’t perfect enough for us to get going on our project. Once we get a few things in order and get our mind geared up, then we’ll be able to pursue our big idea. But not now, oh no. There are far too many things in disarray now.

And that’s the faulty thinking. Our present situation always seems to be in disarray because, well, life is sort of a mixed bag of unpredictable factors all thrown at you at random. I’ve experienced this enough for myself to know that there is no such thing as “getting things all in order.” By that I mean that paying your bills won’t make more bills stop coming. Cleaning your house once won’t make it stay clean forever. You may be in a rough patch now, emotionally, physically or mentally, but that is part of the roller coaster ride of life.

So what am I saying? Essentially this: now is always the time to go for it, because “perfect” circumstances don’t exist.

If you’re honest with yourself, you will see that neglecting that big thing you envision on the grounds that “you’re not ready” is really just an excuse born out of fear of failure.

I challenge you to act on your “big thing,” whatever it is, today. Even if that means one small, concrete step in the direction of your goal, I’m confident that moving toward it will empower you. Tomorrow will bring more challenges, setbacks, and unpredictable snafu’s, yes, but that’s okay. You can navigate through them.

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March 27, 2013 Happiness Leads To Success (And Not The Other Way Around)

We tend to think that if we get that job, if we get that promotion, if we find our true love etc., etc., etc., then we will finally be completely, permanently happy.

But this is not true!

Shawn Achor, founder of Good Think Inc., explains why the success-then-happiness formula just plain does not work:

“Every time we hit a success, our brain moves the goalpost of where success is.”

You’ve surely experienced this for yourself. You got a job, for instance, and were elated…for a moment. Then your brain instantly went to the next step. “Okay, you got the job, but are you prepared for the job? Do you have all the resources needed to excel in the job? Is this even the right job for you? Will it lead to better opportunities?”

And in this way you went from feeling accomplished to feeling anxious, all in the blink of an eye.

You can see why grounding your happiness in your successes can become a problem.

The solution to this, although it may be much harder practiced than preached, is to reverse the order of success and happiness. Says Achor:

“If you reverse the formula by pursuing happiness first, you wind up with greater happiness and success.”

The science behind it all? As Achor explains, happiness releases dopamine in the brain. This chemical both leads you to seek out more happiness, and also “turns on every learning center in the brain,” thereby making you three times as creative. As we know, creativity tends to lead to success.

At first I thought this whole reversal of the formula thing sounded a bit too simple to be true. But it’s simplicity is what makes it a challenge to enact in real life. Our culture reinforces the idea that success is the answer to happiness all the time. We treat celebrities like royalty, because they have all the things society tells us give us happiness. At the end of almost any Hollywood movie, the protagonist overcomes a great obstacle and rides off into the sunset, where we are to assume that their success will give them contentment for the rest of their days.

Okay, so success doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness. But how do you reverse the formula?

“As I’ve come to see it, happiness is a work ethic…Happiness isn’t something that happens to you. Happiness is created.”

1. Journal. Your brain works in patterns. If you focus on negative aspects, your brain will form a worldview of negativity, which will become your default setting. By taking time out of your day to write down a few positive things in your life, you will slowly retrain your brain to see the positives. You’ll be happier.

2. Serve, Give, Love. Unhappy people are almost always turned inward. We are social creatures, made to interact. Although it may sound like the worst possible thing to do when you’re at your unhappiest, reaching out to others, serving your community, and building other people up will give you a greater sense of meaning and self-worth.

3. Pause. Our instinct when we are stressed is to push ourselves harder. This actually neglects the underlying problem by giving us an excuse in the form of a distraction. Force yourself to stop and be still. Perhaps this is the time for you to journal. Let go of your troubles, even if for a moment.

Achor, Shawn. “Scientific Proof That Happiness Is A Choice.” Accessed March 27, 2013. http://www.nextavenue.org/blog/scientific-proof-happiness-choice

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