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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: How to Boost Self-Esteem

September 25, 2013 On Taking Risks

Looking back on your experience to-date, how much has your life gone as planned? Did everything line up for you in the exact way you were hoping it would? Can you honestly say your life has been completely in your control?

If you’re anything like the vast majority of us, hindsight probably reveals how little you actually predicted and controlled in your life. And this isn’t a bad thing. Opportunities in life seem to present themselves to you on their own timescale.

With this in mind, taking a risk is a smart move long term. Why, you ask?

1. Opportunities abound for the person who takes a risk. An employer is much more impressed by someone who dives into the unknown, and word will spread quickly about your willingness to venture into new territory. This will snowball and provide for you many more opportunities.

2. Failures are temporary, while regrets linger. “When speaking to people in their forties and beyond, many tell me that if they could do their career over again, they’d have taken more risks, settled less and spoken up more often,” writes Margie Warrell in this Forbes article. It is always better to have tried and faltered than to have never gone for it.

3. You’re probably overestimating the odds against you. Warrell points out that we tend to magnify the negative consequences in our minds, to the point where we no longer think about positive outcomes, which makes for a warped view of reality.

4. As a rule, you are capable of more than you think you are. This is probably a result of having been conditioned early on to always be modest. But it’s okay to recognize your strengths and feel confident about them. And you’ll never know your ability until you take risks.

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September 11, 2013 The Best Learners Keep Their Minds Open

Image via Maurice Kerrigan

With school back in session, you’ve probably seen kids with backpacks and lunchboxes waiting for the bus, or noticed the huge “back to school” section at your local Target, or maybe you’ve been one of those brave souls frantically rushing your kids out the door each morning. Whatever it may be, it’s likely September has reminded you of your own time in school, be it grade school, high school, or college, wherein your sole job was to learn.

It’s easy to slip into the mindset that that was then, this is now. We had school for learning, now it’s time for applying that knowledge in the real world. While this is true, adhering too strongly to such thinking can actually hinder your ability to excel. Because the world is continuously changing, we must embrace a mentality of continuous learning, and the way we pull that off is by keeping an open mind.

I know, “keeping an open mind” is about as cliché as it gets. It’s a phrase that can mean a whole heap of things and rarely gets questioned. So what do I mean when I say we must keep an open mind?

1. Put flexibility into practice. Be willing to change plans on the fly. Try out other people’s ideas. Don’t assume you know the answer right away.

2. Self-assessment is key. Are listening to others? Have you applied what you’ve most recently learned in any meaningful way?

3. There is no perfect way to do things. Strategies and methods need to be adapted to each new situation. The best learners use their environments to come up with a concoction of many different methods, tailored to the situation at hand.

4. Change is the only constant. And this is okay. Too often we wage a losing battle trying to control everything around us. You don’t need to fight that battle.

Don’t get entrenched in a one size fits all approach. You’ll only become frustrated. Be willing to listen, experiment and place yourself in the firing line of new experiences.

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September 4, 2013 “Am I An Impostor”? Overcoming Self-Doubt

It happens to even the most accomplished among us: That nagging feeling that it’s only a matter of time before we’re found out to be frauds. Thoughts like “I don’t actually know what I’m doing here,” or, “I’ve done well…so far…but eventually they’ll realize they made a big mistake hiring me,” are token examples of someone experiencing this phenomenon. Which begs the question: Where does this intense self-doubt come from?

Known as the Impostor Phenomenon (IP), it is more prevalent than you might expect. (You can view a small test see if you have the IP traits here.) In her new book, The Empress Has No Clothes: Conquering Self-Doubt to Embrace Success, Joyce M. Roche, president of Girls Incorporated, both reveals why many of us have such thoughts, and lays out practical ways to combat them.

Roche writes that conquering self-doubt lies in “learning how to metabolize external validation to turn it into the core strength of internal validation.” In other words, instead of letting your negative thoughts define who you think you are, focus on concrete successes you can point to in your life and let those fuel your sense of self-worth.

A few more points on overcoming self-doubt:

1. Identify the specific parts of your life that make you feel like you’re an impostor, and talk to someone you trust about those specific things. The simple act of verbalizing your fears shines light on the faulty thinking you used to create them.

2. Focus on the external factors of your present circumstance instead of your internal thoughts. You’ll see your track record for what it really us: there will be both successes and failures, sure, but be sure to give yourself credit where credit is due.

3. Wear your failures and setbacks as badges, not blemishes to cover up. As cliché as it is, our failures really are what propel us forward by showing us exactly what not to do, and failures are usually closely followed by successes.

Reference

Roche, Joyce M., and Alexander Kopelman. The Empress Has No Clothes: Conquering Self-Doubt to Embrace Success. San Francisco: Barrett-Koelher, 2013.

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