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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: How to Boost Self-Esteem

May 21, 2014 When Life Gives You Lemons: Turning A Bad Situation Into Something Positive

At the end of 2007, many of my close associates watched in horror as the economic crisis took millions of Americans’ jobs, homes, and dreams. None of us had ever seen anything like it.

It was bad. And it continues to be bad for many people. But as it turned out, what came out of the crisis for me was a journey I never envisioned myself embarking on.

It started as friends of mine–old colleagues, neighbors, and family–began to confide in me: “I’ve been in the same career for years, and now it’s gone!” they’d tell me. “What do I do now? Go back to school? I can’t do that, I’m too old!”

I also heard: “I’ve never had to write a resume, can you believe that?”

Actually, I can believe it. Many of my peers were blessed with secure, longterm jobs in which they excelled for decades, so that they had no need (they assumed) to keep a polished, updated resume on hand. When the economic downturn left them frantic, it was only then that they realized their mistake. So I helped them craft a resume that would optimize their chances at landing another job.

At first, I was simply being a friend to individuals in need of guidance. I’d meet with folks for coffee and offer what advice my experiences had equipped me with. Then, I began to discover that I was truly good at helping people to find their path, and that I really enjoyed doing it.

So, You Excel Now was born. Today, I still coach numerous individuals on a one-to-one basis, but as this thing just keeps on growing, I’ve started turning my message and experience into talks, workshops and keynote addresses in order to reach more people. It doesn’t look like it’ll slow down anytime soon.

Here’s my point: All of this happened for me as a result of a really, really bad thing: the 2008 crash. While I’m obviously not glad the crisis happened, it serves as a good reminder that life is unpredictable, and often doesn’t do what we want it to do. The good news is, we get to choose how we handle it.

When you look at it right, you’ll find something good to take away from almost any bad situation. At the very least, a bad situation always equips you with a powerful learning experience. But oftentimes, bad situations open the door for new, potentially amazing opportunities. Had I not chosen to look at a disastrous situation as something potentially positive, I can’t say for sure that I would have found myself on this amazing journey as a career and life coach.

So keep your eyes peeled!

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April 17, 2014 Malcolm Gladwell: Your Chances Are Actually Pretty Good When You’re The Underdog

In his new book, David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, Malcolm Gladwell focuses not only on dispelling the fears attached to being an underdog, but even goes so far as to show how in many cases, being the underdog gives you an advantage. He summarizes some key points in his New Yorker article:

“David’s victory over Goliath, in the Biblical account, is held to be an anomaly,” he writes. “It was not. Davids win all the time.”

He highlights research conducted by political scientist Ivan Arreguín-Toft, who looked at all the major wars fought in the last two hundred years, paying close attention to the underdog of each conflict. His findings were surprising: roughly one in three wars were won by a nation that was way out of its league.

That’s a staggering stat on its own. Conventional wisdom would tell us that the underdog should never win, and when he/she does, it’s a fluke. But Arreguín-Toft’s study shows that underdogs win all the time. And that’s not even the most surprising finding.

In the David and Goliath story, David first tries on armor and a sword in preparation to face Goliath. But he’s not comfortable in heavy armor and a big sword. He’s familiar with stones, a sling, and his plain clothes. So he opts to use what he’s most used to, and we know what happens from there.

Similarly, Arreguín-Toft wondered what happened when the underdogs in his study “acknowledged their weaknesses and chose an unconventional strategy,” as Gladwell puts it. “He went back and re-analyzed his data. In those cases, David’s winning percentage went from 28.5 to 63.6. When underdogs chose not to play by Goliath’s rules, they win.”

The Takeaway

1. It’s okay to be the underdog. Own it. Use it to your advantage. Don’t be discouraged when you feel out of your league. Everyone feels this way from time to time.

2. Underdogs win all the time. And it’s not a fluke. Think of all the successful people and businesses that started out with an idea or vision that everyone around them laughed at. There are too many to count. They were all the underdogs at one point.

3. Use what you’re comfortable with to succeed; don’t play by the giant’s rules. Be aware of your unique strengths even in the face of a daunting challenge. Don’t ever let your self-saboteur tell you that you aren’t good enough for the task. It isn’t true.

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April 4, 2014 What Drives You To Do Great Things?

I caught a great snippet on the radio in the car the other day. The TED radio hour showcases a wide array of innovative and interesting ideas, and in this case, the program talked about how we define and achieve success in our lives.

Life coach Tony Robbins gave a TED talk asking us to identify our inner drive in life. If you have the time, it’s worth checking out the full talk here.

 

Otherwise, here are a few stand-out points he makes:

-Don’t think about life in terms of success and failure. Think about what brings the most meaning and value to your life, and chase after that.

-Don’t settle. If you don’t like where you’re life is headed, make a change.

-“Lack of resources” is not an excuse. What it really boils down to is a lack of resourcefulness.

Stay tuned for the month of April, as I’ll take a deeper look at what success is, and how we attain it.

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