UXL Blog

If you have been following my blog or my business for any length of time, you know that I am a long-time advocate of heart-led leadership. That means being authentic AND having an authentic interest in each of your people. It also means making smart decisions by balancing your head and your heart. Being “heart-led” doesn’t mean you’re weak; it simply means you are empathetic, kind, and willing to listen to your people. This can be viewed as an offshoot of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence (sometimes referred to as EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and reason with emotions. It involves being self-aware, regulating your own emotions, and empathizing with others. Developing emotional intelligence in the workplace can lead to improved communication, better conflict resolution, and stronger relationships with colleagues. By cultivating emotional intelligence, you can become a more effective leader, foster a positive work environment, and contribute to the overall success of your organization.

Some might believe that emotional intelligence is innate—you’re either born with it or you’re not. While it might be true that some people are more naturally empathetic than others, that doesn’t mean everyone else cannot learn to be emotionally intelligent and develop the qualities associated with a high EQ.

Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learned and improved over time. If you’re hoping to build this essential skill, I suggest starting with the following:

Build Self-Awareness

Emotional intelligence starts with developing a deeper understanding of yourself. What are your tendencies, habits, and perspectives? How do you tend to react stressful situations? What is your communication style, and how do you relate to others?

To help answer these (and other) crucial questions, I suggest taking an assessment test that is rooted in science. As a Licensed Practitioner of Insights Discovery®, I naturally advocate for this system, but many other similar programs exist (Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder, Enneagrams, etc.). Briefly, Insights Discovery® is a self-awareness tool that helps you understand your natural preferences, strengths, and potential blind spots, visualizing this data with four distinct colors (learn more on my website). By gaining this self-knowledge, you can better manage your emotions, communicate more effectively, and build stronger relationships with your colleagues.

Additionally, consider keeping a journal to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors throughout the workday. This can provide valuable insights into your emotional patterns and help you identify areas for growth.

Practice Active Listening

An important step in developing your EQ is practicing active listening. When you actively listen, you not only hear the words being said, but you also aim to understand the speaker’s perspective and emotions. This involves maintaining eye contact, asking clarifying questions, and paraphrasing what you’ve heard to ensure understanding. This demonstrates empathy and builds trust with your colleagues, which can lead to more productive conversations and stronger relationships.

Check In with Your Emotions

Emotional intelligence also requires the ability to check in with and manage your own emotions. When you experience strong feelings, whether positive or negative, take a moment to pause and reflect before responding. This can prevent you from saying or doing something you might regret. Practice techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or journaling to help you regulate your emotions and respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively.

Aim For Understanding

Finally, strive to approach interactions with an attitude of understanding rather than judgment. When you encounter a colleague who is behaving in a way that frustrates or upsets you, try to consider their perspective and what might be driving their actions. This empathetic mindset can help you respond with compassion rather than criticism, fostering an environment of mutual respect and trust.

By developing these key emotional intelligence skills, you can become a more effective communicator, problem-solver, and leader within your organization. Those with a high EQ tend to have a better ability to navigate workplace relationships and interactions effectively. This, in turn, can lead to improved collaboration, problem-solving, and overall job satisfaction. Investing in the development of emotional intelligence can be a valuable asset for yourself, your people, and the entire organization.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: developing emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence in workplace, EQ in workplace, importance of emotional intelligence, Margaret Smith licensed Insights practitioner, Margaret Smith LP of Insights