Skip to content

UXL Blog

“Creating Successful Leaders”

Tag Archives: dealing with workplace feedback

August 23, 2023 The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback: Tips for Managers and Employees

Effective feedback is a two-way street. If you’re providing critiques, it’s important to do so in a way that doesn’t sound accusatory or ends up being demoralizing, but it’s usually not enough to say, “Good work! Keeping doing what you’re doing.” On the other hand, if you’re receiving feedback, it doesn’t pay to put up walls and be overly defensive. BUT it’s also not a good idea to passively take criticism if you A) disagree with it or B) do not completely understand it.

All this is to say, giving and receiving feedback effectively is a balancing act. And it’s easy to tip into negative territory.

How can you keep things positive and aim for improvement? First, let’s talk about giving effective feedback, and then we’ll discuss a few pointers for effectively receiving feedback.

Giving Effective Feedback

Good feedback is sincere, illustrative, and clear. It also provides a clear path or action plan for the recipient to use after the meeting. To achieve this type of feedback, I often turn to the D4 model, designed by Insights® Discovery, which I’ve discussed in detail in a past blog post.

Essentially, the D4 feedback model is a four-step process that encourages specificity while also maintaining a positive tone. Here are the basics:

Data: Start by presenting the facts of the situation or behavior. Avoid generalizations or assumptions, and keep your tone neutral.

Depth of Feeling: Start to explore why you might be feeling a certain way about the data you’ve presented. This step helps to uncover deeper issues that may be contributing to the situation.

Dramatic Interpretation: How are you interpreting the situation? What meaning have you given it?

Do: End with a clear path forward. What would you like to see happen moving forward, and what steps can be taken to get there?

By following these steps, you’ll be able to give feedback that is clear, actionable, and helps the recipient understand how to improve. It’s also important to remember to give positive feedback as well – acknowledging what the recipient is doing well can motivate them to keep up the good work.

Receiving Feedback Effectively

Receiving feedback can be challenging, especially if it’s critical or unexpected. However, it’s important to approach feedback with an open mind and a willingness to learn. To do this, keep the following tips in mind:

  • Listen actively and ask clarifying questions.
  • Avoid becoming defensive or argumentative.
  • If you do not agree with the feedback, politely ask for clarification/elaboration. You may also want to seek additional feedback from others to corroborate the feedback.
  • Identify specific actions you can take to improve. Make sure to go over these action steps with the person providing feedback.
  • Ask for next steps (a follow-up meeting, sending a progress update, etc.).
  • Acknowledge and thank the person for their feedback.
  • Follow through! After the meeting, begin strategizing how you will stay committed to the action steps discussed during the feedback session. This may involve setting goals, seeking additional support or resources, or simply dedicating time and energy to improving your performance.

Remember, feedback is an opportunity for growth and development. By approaching it with an open mind and a positive attitude, you can turn constructive criticism into a valuable tool for personal and professional improvement.

Whether you’re giving or receiving feedback, it’s important to approach it with care and intention. Giving effective feedback involves being specific, sincere, and clear, while also providing a path forward. The D4 feedback model is a useful tool for achieving this balance. On the receiving end, it’s important to actively listen, avoid defensiveness, and identify specific actions to take. Remember, feedback is an opportunity for growth, so approach it with a willingness to learn and modify how you’re currently doing things. The give and take of feedback doesn’t have to be painful or stressful! With effective communication and positive intentions, both parties can walk away satisfied.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , , ,

October 26, 2022 3 Steps to Deal with Negative Feedback

No one likes to receive negative feedback. We’d all like to skate through life and have people tell us, “That was perfect! No changes necessary.” Or, “I love your ideas. Let’s adopt every single one of them.” Or, “Your report was impeccable. Don’t change a thing.”

If only.

The truth is, you will receive negative feedback at times, whether in a meeting, during an annual review, or from co-workers (in a more casual sense). Negative feedback can sting. You might feel defensive, you may dread the work that the feedback might create, or you might even feel some animosity toward the person who delivered the critique.

Those feelings are normal, and you can work through them. Let’s talk about 3 ways to deal with negative feedback.

1. Delay Your Reaction

When you or your work is criticized, your kneejerk reaction may be to bite back. You might say something snappy, blow off the criticism, or even attack the speaker. None of these are productive responses, and they may end up damaging relationships or your reputation.

Instead, take time to internalize the criticism. You might ask a clarifying question or two (or gently correct something the speaker misstated), but do your best to not be defensive. Even if you don’t entirely agree with the feedback, there may be a kernel of truth in it. Let your anger or disappointment subside before you respond.

2. Examine the Heart of the Feedback

How often do you latch onto a criticism, even when someone has given you several compliments? When dealing with negative feedback, sit down and think about everything that was said. Was the negative component the most important part of the feedback? Or simply the part that stuck with you?

Even if the negative portion of the feedback wasn’t the central focus, it’s worth addressing it. Now that you’re in a more neutral state (hopefully!), consider ways to course correct. Will this be a major undertaking? Will it involve other people or various resources? Start planning, but don’t get too far until you do Step 3…

3. Circle Back to the Critiquer

After you’ve had some time to digest the negative feedback, it’s a good idea to reach out to the person who delivered it. It could be that they didn’t state their case clearly, were confused, or overstated the problem. Or maybe they meant every word of their critique.

Whatever the case, I encourage you to contact this person and address their criticism head-on. You might start the conversation like this:

“I’ve been giving what you said about X a lot of thought, and I want to ask you some clarifying questions before diving in to make corrections. Can we chat?”

If they agree to talk, keep things civil and professional. You should have a genuine desire to make things better and improve! The goal of this conversation is to capture more information AND demonstrate to the other person that you hear them, respect their opinion, and are willing to put in the leg work to make things right.

No one loves negative feedback, but we can all learn from it. At times, this feedback may be exaggerated or just plain wrong, but don’t dismiss it outright. We can learn from others’ thoughts and perspectives, and it’s helpful to keep a humble, always-improving attitude. Besides, the more you deal with criticism, the easier it will be to take it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

Tags: , , , , ,