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August 6, 2025 The Courage to Ask for What You Want

As a career coach, I’ve talked with many people who have expressed disappointment about not getting what they wanted in their professions. They didn’t get the raise, the promotion, or the project they wanted. They were passed over for a team leader role or to organize a committee. But when I inquired about whether they asked for these things, I’m usually met with blank stares or questions. “Ask for a raise? I can do that?” Yes, and you should.

Why Ask

In the business world, many of us are either indirect or we assume it isn’t proper to ask for something like a promotion. I agree that this isn’t something to do lightly, and it should be approached with a certain amount of grace and tact, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Managers, supervisors, and C-suite executives are often busy people. They may be in charge of large teams, and they might not be the best at keeping track of their people’s aspirations and abilities. When you ask for something, that gets the attention of your higher-ups. Suddenly, you’re on their radar, and you are seen as someone with initiative and motivation. Additionally, your manager will know exactly what you’re aiming for; they’ll gain a crystal-clear understanding of your aspirations. Those are all compelling reasons to ask for what you want, but how do you do it in a way that doesn’t come across as aggressive or pushy?

How to Ask Tactfully 

When it comes to putting forth what you want from your career, it’s best to have a strategy. Think about what you will say, how you will say it, and the circumstances in which you will deliver your ask. I suggest aiming for the following: 

Choose a One-on-One Setting 

Private meetings are best for big asks. Asking for a raise or a change in roles in front of a group is awkward and tacky, and it puts your team leader on the spot. Instead, plan to give your ask during a one-on-one meeting. If you do not have one set up, request one. 

Work it in Naturally 

To avoid conversational whiplash, do your best to deliver your ask at a natural moment. If you are talking about a current project, you might say: “I’ve actually been thinking about this project a lot and wondering if my performance and results have been enough to earn me a promotion. Would you be open to talking about that?”

Build Your Case 

Enter the conversation armed with relevant information. If you have performed well in a recent initiative, received a positive review, made a measurable contribution, or did something else of note recently, be prepared to talk about it in specific details. Referring back to the example involving a recent project, you might say something like: “I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to review our team project on X, but I’m happy with the results. On an individual level, I came up with a solution that increased customer purchases of Y product by 18%.”

Practice Your Pitch

It can be awkward asking for what you want. To avoid stumbling over your words, try rehearsing what you’d like to say in the mirror or with a partner. Practice until it feels natural. 

Open the Door for Dialogue

When you make your ask, it’s a good idea to present it as something that warrants further discussion. Make it clear that you do not require an immediate answer (no one likes being put on the spot), but also convey that you’d like to talk about the situation in more depth. After you’ve built your case, you could say something like: “Would you be willing to discuss the possibility of a pay raise?” OR: “Given my evolving skill set, are you open to discussing a shift in my role and daily responsibilities?”

Asking for what you want takes courage, but I suggest taking the leap and doing it. Just make sure you properly prepare and approach the ask with as much grace and strategy as possible. Oftentimes in life, we do not get what we do not ask for.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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June 8, 2022 It’s Time to Ask for a Raise (4 ways)

With the Great Resignation and a nation-wide worker shortage, employers are scrambling to both hire new staff and retain the people they already have. It’s an employee’s world right now, so why not use this opportunity to ask for a raise?

If you’ve been with your company for more than a couple years, you are a valuable asset that cannot easily be replaced. You know your company’s systems, goals, visions, and approaches. You’re familiar with your co-workers, as well as the resources you can use to get your job done. On average, it takes $4,000 to hire a new employee, and that doesn’t include all the expenses associated with training and/or mentoring. Your company would rather retain their current employers, especially if they’re performing well.

Of course, it doesn’t make sense to ask for a raise if you just earned one OR if you’re underperforming OR if you’ve only been working at your company for a matter of months. However, it does make sense to ask for a raise if:

  • You are a high performer or active contributor
  • You are taking on more work than ever
  • You feel you are worth more than what you’re paid
  • Fellow employees in similar roles are paid more than you
  • People in your field are receiving better pay at other companies

These are all reasons to ask for a raise.

If you feel like you’ve earned it, you probably have. So, why not ask for it? According to Ramit Sethi, author and founder of I Will Teach You To Be Rich.com, “Just one $5,000 raise, properly invested, can be worth $1 million over your career.”

Sounds great, right? But you can’t just waltz into your boss’ office and demand an extra $5K a year. You have to develop a thoughtful, thorough plan. Here’s how:

List the reasons you deserve a raise.

Take time to evaluate the work you’ve done over the last year or two. What projects stand out? What are some specific instances where you’ve truly shined? When have you added to the profitability of your organization? Collect as many specific facts as you can (Of course, it helps if your boss already knows about your accomplishments, but that’s a subject for a different blog post). Practice talking about your accomplishments in the mirror or with a close friend or spouse. Why? You want to sound as natural as possible when you have this conversation and not like you’re rattling off a list.

Arm Yourself with Confidence.

Don’t be shy about asking for a raise. Believe you’ve earned it and demonstrate, with confidence, the reasons why you should get it. However, don’t overdo it and let confidence turn into cockiness. Just be authentic, sincere, and assertive in your request.

Have a specific dollar amount in mind.

Do your research. Know what other people in the company are making and know what other people in your industry are making. Don’t be outlandish in your request, but don’t sell yourself short either.

Talk about the future.

It’s a good idea to demonstrate you are ready to continue to do great work for the company. As Carolyn O’Hara writes in an article for the Harvard Business Review, “Lay out your contributions, then quickly pivot to what you hope to tackle next. Assure your boss that you understand his or her pressures and goals, and pitch your raise as a way to help achieve those goals.”

And if your boss turns you down? That’s a possible outcome and you have to be prepared to accept it. But don’t get discouraged. The fact that you asked for a raise shows initiative, career-mindedness, and tenacity. It also demonstrates to your boss that you know what you’re worth and he or she will have to give you a raise at some point down the road or risk losing you. So, be fearless! You don’t get what you don’t ask for.

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May 1, 2019 Make the MOST of Your Annual Performance Review

Two women meeting over notebooks

If you’re like many people, you dread your annual performance review. It’s not the prospect of getting in trouble, it’s that performance reviews can be just…tedious. They often feel like a distraction–something you have to get out of the way before you can move on with business as usual.

It’s unfortunate that performance reviews have received such a bad reputation because they can be enormously valuable!

Instead of shying away from this year’s performance review, kick yourself into high gear and focus on taking advantage of everything a performance review can and should be. Think of your review as an opportunity to do one or more of the following:

1. Ask for a Raise

According to Grant Sabatier, author of Financial Freedom, one of the best times to ask for a raise is during a performance review. Sabatier says, “Your annual performance review is a natural time to ask because your boss is already thinking about your value to your company. If you come with your market-value research, you are significantly more likely to get a higher raise.”

Just be sure to put together a solid case for asking for a raise (find a few hints in my past blog post), and practice your speech in front of the mirror or to a willing partner. The goal is to sound as confident as possible when making your ask.

2. Identify Weak Points

Performance reviews are a great time to ask critical questions about yourself, your work performance, and what you can do to improve. Think of it as a time to gather as much information as possible to have a successful year ahead.

If you don’t understand or agree with a piece of feedback, don’t argue or get defensive! Simply ask clarifying questions and attempt to understand where the feedback is coming from. If the advice seems sound, develop a plan for putting it into practice.

3. Create Change

It’s easy to complain about everything you don’t like about your workplace behind your boss’ back. Not only is that counterproductive, it can bring down the attitude of the entire office. Instead, keep a list of things you’d like to see changed, tweaked, or eliminated. Be sure to brainstorm potential solutions as well.

When it comes time for your review, present your list to your superior in a respectful, solutions-oriented way. Get excited about the potential changes, and show you’re willing to put in some time to make them happen. Instead of seeming like a complainer, you’ll be viewed as someone who is motivated and bold enough to take initiative to make positive change.

Performance reviews don’t have to be a slog. Think of them as opportunities to carve out a better year for yourself and the workplace. Get excited for your next review and start planning the conversation you’d like to have with your boss. Here’s to a self-made year!

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