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Tag Archives: active empathy

February 4, 2026 Empathy As a Superpower

Empathy is a term that is used frequently and not always in a positive manner. It is sometimes viewed as weak or wishy-washy. And some people even see it as political. In truth, empathy is not a sign of weakness but of strength. And it isn’t political, or religious, or only meant for a certain segment of the population. Rather, it is deeply human and more necessary than ever.

It’s important to note that empathy is not the same as sympathy. Sympathy relates to feeling sorry for another, or even pitying them. Empathy is more about understanding. It’s about expanding your horizons to see another’s perspective. It’s about being curious and open enough to want to understand. This innate curiosity helps people of all backgrounds and beliefs work together, live side by side, and cooperate.

Because no two people are alike, empathy can, indeed, be a superpower. It’s a way to reach others, negotiate, and have productive dialogues. When there’s a need for creativity or brainstorming solutions, it’s a way of gathering different ideas and making sense of them. That’s because empathy goes hand-in-hand with solution seeking. It is essentially the opposite of combativeness or stubbornness.

In my experience, empathetic leaders are often skilled at bringing out the best in their teams. These individuals understand the importance of truly listening—soaking in both what someone is saying and the context or subtext related to what is being said. For example, if a team member is adamant about gearing a product toward working parents, an empathetic leader might think about what they know about that team member. Maybe they are a single mother who faces numerous everyday challenges. As such, their passion makes sense, and the empathetic leader will know they are speaking from experience. Likely, this person is not the only one who is facing similar struggles, and it is probably smart to consider their perspective when developing products or solutions.

Empathy is useful in all different contexts, both within and outside of the workplace. It’s a simple fact that everyone wants to be understood and listened to. Because of this, an empathetic person makes a good conversation partner by giving others the space to express themselves and explain their perspective. That doesn’t mean being a pushover, and it doesn’t mean an empathetic person doesn’t have their own opinions and beliefs. It simply means that they are open to listening and understanding.

In a world where things are often portrayed as black and white, empathy is a courageous but necessary choice. Without it, we would constantly be at loggerheads with others, stuck in a single perspective. That’s not productive, and it only creates animosity and hard feelings. Rather, let’s make an effort to choose empathy and start really listening to what others have to say. That can make all the difference.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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September 23, 2020 How to Practice Active Empathy

It seems that, with each passing year, our country is becoming more and more divided and less able (or willing) to understand each other’s perspectives. That’s a shame, because a little empathy can make an enormous difference. When we understand where people are coming from, what they believe, and why they operate the way they do, we can build bridges, instead of putting up walls. We can make progress instead of becoming gridlocked.

I have found that I can find common ground with anyone, no matter how different we are. I can sit across the table from that person and have a perfectly civil conversation. We all have the power to do this, we simply need to follow a few simple guidelines:

Start with Common Ground

It’s always easier to ease into a conversation once you’ve established some rapport and some common ground with the other person. Are you both fond of cooking? Do you both have children? Do you enjoy hiking? Or artwork? Or gardening?

Ask questions and be willing to open up and volunteer information about yourself. Connecting with others takes a measure of vulnerability on both sides.

Ask Questions

Empathy starts with caring about the other person and their point of view. Be curious. Ask open-ended questions (instead of yes/no questions) and get the other person to open up. Be intentional about your question-asking tactics and don’t ask questions with the intention of picking a fight.

Listen

The other half of asking good questions is practicing active listening. It’s great to ask questions, but if you don’t listen to the answer, you’re not going to get anywhere. Oftentimes, we ask questions, thinking we already know the answer. But, it’s possible (even probable) you do NOT know the answer! In fact, it’s best to assume you don’t know the answer to a question when you ask it. That forces you to pay attention and truly listen to what the other person has to say.

Pick Your Battles

It is difficult to change another’s mind over the course of a single conversation. Besides, that shouldn’t be the goal of your interaction in the first place. The goal is understanding. Hopefully, once you’ve demonstrated empathy and a willingness to listen to another’s point of view, that person will behave in kind. If it seems appropriate to share your perspective, start with a bridge-building sentence. For instance:

“I understand you feel X about Y. I see the situation a little differently. This is my point of view…”

If the atmosphere begins to feel hostile and the other person starts putting up walls, that’s a sign that the conversation is going nowhere. If that’s the case, there’s no harm in changing the subject. You’re not giving up; you’re recognizing that traveling further down this road would be futile. Better to end the conversation with some mutual understanding and respect than to push it into hostile territory.

I firmly believe that empathy is the missing tool many of us need to build bridges and establish mutual understanding. Be the bigger person—extend empathy first. Aim for understanding, ask questions, be a tad vulnerable, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll start a dialogue and encourage people to come together to solve problems, instead of fighting across the aisle.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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