Skip to content

UXL Blog

“Creating Successful Leaders”

July 27, 2022 One Secret to Finding Satisfaction in Life

From a young age, we’re conditioned to always strive for more. We try to earn top grades in school or become the best athlete. We try to become first chair in the band or the lead singer in the school musical.

And that inclination doesn’t leave us as adults. At work, we try to earn accolades, climb the ladder, or gain recognition from our peers. In our personal lives, we think we’ll be happier if we buy a bigger house, purchase a certain car, join a certain club, or modify our appearances to look a certain way.

Where does it end? When do you actually achieve satisfaction?

Arthur Brooks, author of From Strength to Strength, asked the Dalai Lama this very question. To me, the answer was enlightening. The Dalai Lama said that to find “stable happiness,” we need to “stop striving to have what we want and start wanting what we have.”

If we’re constantly striving for more, we forget to be grateful for what is right in front of us—what we already have. Yes, ambition and motivation are important, but there’s a limit. If you’re always wanting more, more, more, you will forget to pause and enjoy life.

Today, I fear we’re all moving at a pace that is unsustainable and, frankly, unhealthy. What if we were to slow down? What if we were to pause each and every day to think about what we have instead of dwelling on what we lack? How might your worldview change? How might your sense of self-worth and happiness change?

Let’s start small. This week, I challenge you to set aside 5 minutes every day to journal about your gratitude. Jot down whatever comes to mind.

Consider these questions:

  • What are you grateful for right now?
  • What gives you a spark of joy?
  • What do you have that you often take for granted?
  • Who has helped you along the way?
  • What small act of kindness or helpfulness aided you today?

Focusing on what you have (whether tangible items, reliable people, or kind gestures/actions of others) is an important step toward becoming a generally satisfied person. Of course, you’ll probably have moments when you’ll want more of something or desire some kind of change in your life, but let those moments spur productive motivation instead of greed. As long as you keep gratitude at your center, you’ll empower yourself to become more content and satisfied with life. And isn’t that the ultimate dream?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

Tags: , , , , ,

July 20, 2022 What is Proximity Bias? (And how to avoid it)

Many organizations are still getting used to a work-from-home or hybrid workforce. Even if they use a variety of virtual technologies, that isn’t necessarily enough to create a level playing field between employees. Part of the reason some people may receive preferential treatment in today’s (often hybrid) environment is due to a subconscious tendency known as proximity bias.

What is Proximity Bias?

In short, proximity bias has to do with giving preference to those who are close by. The BBC describes proximity bias as “an unconscious – and unwise – tendency to give preferential treatment to those in our immediate vicinity.” Due to proximity, we might distribute projects or tasks unfairly, let certain people “have the floor” more often during meetings, or pay closer attention to those who are nearby…all without even realizing we’re doing it.

Humans are constantly seeking 1) shortcuts and 2) connections. Because of these tendencies, proximity bias is the most natural thing in the world. It’s easier to assign tasks or communicate with those who are in the office next door. And it’s easier to form connections when you’re in the same room as someone, rather than someone in the virtual space. Frankly, that is unfair to those who are unable to regularly be in the office for whatever reason (irregular childcare schedules, caretaking for an ailing loved one, an outlandishly long commute, etc.)

How do we change these impulsive tendencies?

How Do We Overcome Proximity Bias?

The first step is to build awareness.

Once you understand proximity bias and its implications, you can begin working to overcome it. Start paying attention to the interactions you have with those close by, as opposed to the interactions you have with virtual workers. Start questioning your preferences—who is assigned certain projects, who has the most air time during meetings, etc. Tuning in is the first step to making mindful, meaningful changes.

Secondly, normalize logging in.

Even if part of your team is sharing a conference room during a meeting, encourage everyone to log in to their own laptop. That way, you’re conducting one meeting (in the virtual space), instead of two meetings, and in-person participants won’t be able to strike up side conversations or give body language signals that the virtual attendees might not see. Logging in when you’re in the same room might seem awkward at first, but people will adapt (especially if you explain why it’s important to do so).

Third, make sure everyone has equal access to resources.

Files should be shared in a virtual space; action plans and notes should be digitized. To further combat proximity bias, it’s a good idea to promote virtual discussions/forums, rather than rely on casual hallway interactions. Besides, if you use online forums, you’ll have a digital record of ideas and discussions that could be useful going forward.

Fourth, balance in-person meetings/events with virtual ones.

When the office culture revolves around in-person lunches, activities, and get togethers, those who are working remotely are naturally left out. When that happens, their connection with the office and their co-workers (and, often, and their sense of loyalty to the company) diminishes. Instead, make a conscious effort to host online events just as often (or more often!) as in-person ones.

Proximity bias is a very real phenomenon, but it is possible to combat it. Even though it’s difficult to entirely erase this subconscious bias, we can all take mindful steps to minimize it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

July 13, 2022 5 Steps to Prep for Vacay so You Can Truly Relax

Compared to people of other nationalities, Americans tend to take relatively short vacations. A Resume-Now survey revealed that 26 percent of Americans have never taken off two weeks straight. What’s more, the average American worker only receives 14 days off per year, compared to 30 in Brazil, France, Germany, and Spain, 28 days in Italy, 26 days in the U.K…the list goes on and, sadly, we are at the bottom of it.

So when we do take a vacation, it’s usually brief. Because of that, there isn’t much time to get into “vacation mode” before we’re forced to return to the workplace. Additionally, because our vacations are relatively short, we sometimes feel pressured to see and do EVERYTHING in a short stretch of time. Ironically, that can make us positively exhausted at the end of a vacation.

What to do?

Ideally, Americans would be granted more vacation days in a year AND actually use them. But if that’s not a possibility, it’s smart to get the most out of your vacation, even if it only lasts a week or a few days. To do that, it pays to take several steps to prepare. Otherwise, you’ll be thinking about work duties as you’re trying to relax on the beach or hiking through the woods, and no one wants that.

Try following these five steps:

1. Loop in Everyone Who Matters

When you’re preparing to take a vacation, it’s not enough to simply inform your boss. Loop in any co-workers you regularly work with, clients who will likely email you, or support staff with whom you regularly connect. If you have any responsibilities that need to be covered, be sure to find someone to take over these duties well in advance. Make sure to thoroughly cover the material and answer any questions ahead of time. The last thing you want to do on vacation is field questions about how to log into a certain system or run a certain report.

2. Set Your Vacation Responder One Day Early

Set your vacation responder one day early. This will serve as a reminder to those who regularly email you that you’ll be out of the office the next day. That way, they can quickly run any urgent business by you before you take off.

3. Take a Half-Day on Either End

If you can, take half a day off before and after your vacation. The half-day before your vacay will give you ample time for last-minute packing, watering the plants, passing along instructions to the dog sitter, or any other final preparations you need to make for the next day. When you return, take another half-day to sleep in and have a restful morning. You’ll probably need it if you have a jam-packed vacation itinerary OR if your flight back is delayed.

4. Set Up House Care Well in Advance (and have a backup plan)

There’s always a checklist of routine items that need attention when you’re taking a vacation that lasts more than a couple of days. Your mail needs to be collected (or you need to set up a mail hold through the post office), your plants and animals need care, your sidewalk needs to be shoveled (if it’s winter and you live in a cold climate), your garden needs to be watered (in the summer), etc., etc. To cut down on stress, set up your house care plan well in advance. It’s also a good idea to have a backup plan or person in mind in case your original plan goes awry.

5. Don’t Over-Plan Your Trip

If your itinerary is filled to the brim and you’re spending most of your time driving from attraction to attraction, you likely won’t feel like you’ve had a vacation at all. I encourage you to tone down your vacation ambitions! Aim to see or do one or two things every day, and have a list of backups in case you’re itching to do more. By keeping your itinerary simple and manageable, you’ll have more time to relax, enjoy the company of your travel companion(s), and even be a little spontaneous (you never know when you’ll fall in love with a restaurant/landscape/attraction and want to stay a little longer).

When you’re planning a vacation this year, do your best to be fully immersed in it. With adequate planning, you should be able to press pause on your inbox, feel confident that things are running smoothly without you, and enjoy the moment. You deserve it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

Tags: , , , , ,