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“Creating Successful Leaders”

November 9, 2022 The Case for Connecting with Old Friends

If I asked you to picture some friends you haven’t talked to in a while, could you think of a few people? Maybe several? These could be work colleagues, friends from college (or even high school), or friends you made during a certain period of your life—maybe another parent who was also involved in Little League or a school play. As life goes on, we inevitably connect with others…and often let those connections slip.

Is there anyone you’d like to reconnect with? Someone you think about often and wonder how they’re doing?

If so, I encourage you to reach out! According to research described in Daniel Pink’s short video, reconnecting is NOT as awkward as you might think!

Studies show that when you send a message or call someone with whom you haven’t spoken in some time, that person often appreciates the effort. It’s usually not awkward; it’s a nice surprise! The person will be flattered that you thought to contact them, and you just might make someone’s day.

Another reason to reach out: Far more adults are lonelier than you might realize. An incredible 35 percent of adults aged 45 and older, and 43 percent of adults aged 60 and older, report feeling lonely on a regular basis. If you feel like meeting with someone for coffee, your invitation might be very welcome, or even much-needed.

Reconnecting with old friends is also a low-stakes way to let others know you care. Even if you don’t end up getting together in person, the fact that you’re communicating online or over the phone is something. It is a thread that helps strengthen and maintain your relationship—and you never know when you may need each other (for professional guidance, personal support, or as a bridge to another person).

So, if you’re debating about whether or not to call your old college roommate, send an email to a favorite former co-worker, or mail a birthday card to an old friend, debate no longer! Set aside any reservations, and just do it. Unless your relationship ended horribly, there is very little risk involved in reaching out. And you never know—you just might reestablish a friendship.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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November 2, 2022 Host an Engaging Virtual Meeting

We’re now two and a half years past the beginning of the COVID pandemic, and the business landscape has been forever altered. One of the most obvious changes is the amount of time we spend in virtual meetings. With many people working at home either full- or part-time, it makes sense to connect in a virtual space. But we all know this way of working can have its pitfalls.

Staring into a screen can be draining (or even anxiety-inducing), it’s more difficult to read body language or have side conversations, and the flow of conversation isn’t always natural. On top of that, many of us are experiencing the phenomenon of “Zoom Fatigue,” where we feel burned out by (seemingly endless) virtual meetings.

How can you create an engaging virtual meeting?

As a leader, it’s highly likely you’ll have to lead virtual meetings. Despite their bad rap, you can make online meetings engaging (and maybe even fun!). I suggest trying the following:

1. Keep them short

Studies show that people begin to experience Zoom Fatigue after 30 minutes of constant screen time. Keep that in mind when you’re prepping a meeting. If the meeting will last longer than 30 minutes, consider building in a stretch break or encouraging everyone to shut off their screens for a couple minutes to regroup.

2. Start strong

If you start the meeting by being unenthusiastic or long-winded, people will quickly lose interest and it will set a bad tone for the rest of the meeting. Instead, try kicking off your meeting with an activity. This could be an icebreaker question, a brief round of trivia (think, five questions), or a game (a word search, “spot the differences” pictures, a collaborative round of Wordle). Get everyone’s energy and enthusiasm up.

3. Make it interactive

Whenever it makes sense to ask for input or feedback, ask it. You might hold a brief brainstorming session, ask for ideas/opinions, or simply ask, “Does anyone have any questions so far?” When you ask for feedback, don’t forget to give people time to answer. One or two seconds is not enough for many people. When you sit in silence for 10 or 15 seconds, you’ll find that people will muster up the courage to speak up.

4. Collaborate

Look for opportunities to include your team in the meeting planning and execution. Perhaps it makes sense for someone to deliver an update, or for someone to give a brief tutorial. Adding in another presenter is a great way to keep people’s interest and help them feel included in the meeting.

We all know virtual meetings can be a drag, but they don’t have to be! Take a little time to prep, get creative, and be mindful of when your team needs a break. By emphasizing interaction and team involvement, your meetings might become something people look forward to—a rare thing in the era of Zoom Fatigue.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE

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October 26, 2022 3 Steps to Deal with Negative Feedback

No one likes to receive negative feedback. We’d all like to skate through life and have people tell us, “That was perfect! No changes necessary.” Or, “I love your ideas. Let’s adopt every single one of them.” Or, “Your report was impeccable. Don’t change a thing.”

If only.

The truth is, you will receive negative feedback at times, whether in a meeting, during an annual review, or from co-workers (in a more casual sense). Negative feedback can sting. You might feel defensive, you may dread the work that the feedback might create, or you might even feel some animosity toward the person who delivered the critique.

Those feelings are normal, and you can work through them. Let’s talk about 3 ways to deal with negative feedback.

1. Delay Your Reaction

When you or your work is criticized, your kneejerk reaction may be to bite back. You might say something snappy, blow off the criticism, or even attack the speaker. None of these are productive responses, and they may end up damaging relationships or your reputation.

Instead, take time to internalize the criticism. You might ask a clarifying question or two (or gently correct something the speaker misstated), but do your best to not be defensive. Even if you don’t entirely agree with the feedback, there may be a kernel of truth in it. Let your anger or disappointment subside before you respond.

2. Examine the Heart of the Feedback

How often do you latch onto a criticism, even when someone has given you several compliments? When dealing with negative feedback, sit down and think about everything that was said. Was the negative component the most important part of the feedback? Or simply the part that stuck with you?

Even if the negative portion of the feedback wasn’t the central focus, it’s worth addressing it. Now that you’re in a more neutral state (hopefully!), consider ways to course correct. Will this be a major undertaking? Will it involve other people or various resources? Start planning, but don’t get too far until you do Step 3…

3. Circle Back to the Critiquer

After you’ve had some time to digest the negative feedback, it’s a good idea to reach out to the person who delivered it. It could be that they didn’t state their case clearly, were confused, or overstated the problem. Or maybe they meant every word of their critique.

Whatever the case, I encourage you to contact this person and address their criticism head-on. You might start the conversation like this:

“I’ve been giving what you said about X a lot of thought, and I want to ask you some clarifying questions before diving in to make corrections. Can we chat?”

If they agree to talk, keep things civil and professional. You should have a genuine desire to make things better and improve! The goal of this conversation is to capture more information AND demonstrate to the other person that you hear them, respect their opinion, and are willing to put in the leg work to make things right.

No one loves negative feedback, but we can all learn from it. At times, this feedback may be exaggerated or just plain wrong, but don’t dismiss it outright. We can learn from others’ thoughts and perspectives, and it’s helpful to keep a humble, always-improving attitude. Besides, the more you deal with criticism, the easier it will be to take it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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