October 8, 2025 Why to Promote Positive Gossip
Office gossip can be a problem. If people are constantly belittling or criticizing others behind their backs, that can lead to a toxic and unwelcoming environment. No one wants to feel as if they have to constantly be on guard around their co-workers, lest they become the next subject of the workplace rumor mill. As a leader, your first inclination might be to shut down office gossip entirely. But what if I told you that might not be the best approach?
It’s Tough to Battle Human Nature
Human beings are naturally social creatures, and it’s exceedingly difficult to fully shut down the gossip pipeline. Our tendency to talk about others is part of what makes us human. We like to be kept in the loop, hear the latest news, and be part of the circle that’s “in the know.”
This can be especially true for those who are more social and extroverted. Their dynamics with other people are part of their core identity, and it’s important to be part of the office “connective tissue.” Looking at this through an Insights® Discovery lens, these individuals may lead with yellow or red energy. These two personality types are defined by extroversion, overt communication, and relationships with others (often more collaborative for “yellow energy” folks and more hierarchal for “red energy” folks).
For many offices, with their wide array of personalities and tendencies, stopping gossip and chitchat is like trying to dam a roaring river with only a few sticks. Rather than fight human nature, it is a good idea to try a different approach.
Promoting Positive Gossip
Rather than prohibit gossip, full stop, it’s possible to approach gossip differently. If people are going to talk about each other no matter what, why not put a positive spin on it? Encourage the good kind of gossip—the kind that compliments and uplifts others, and praises their actions.
The easiest and most natural way to promote this type of gossip is to model it. When you encounter a team member in the hallway or are having a one-on-one conversation on Zoom, throw in a compliment or two about other teammates:
“It’s a good thing Marissa is so on top of deadlines. That’s really helping us reach our client goals this quarter.”
“Ari is so creative. Did you hear his ideas in the last brainstorming session?”
“Juana is working so hard lately, even though I know she’s juggling work with childcare.”
When you bring up these types of compliments, make sure they naturally fit the flow of the conversation and come across as sincere. Make them part of your everyday discussions, and soon they will become second nature.
The other part of this effort is flipping negative gossip into positive statements. If, for example, someone complains about Juana missing the last deadline, you might say, “That is frustrating. However, I’ve talked with her and I know she’s juggling childcare with work. Because of that, she is working harder than ever lately, which is pretty admirable.” It’s possible to turn an office that engages in negative gossip into one that emphasizes the positive. Take it one conversation at a time, making sure you’re modeling the type of behavior you want your team to embody. After all, the river of gossip may want to keep flowing, but you can direct it into more positive territory, rather than attempting to stop it completely.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: margaret smith leadership, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, promote positive office gossip, turn gossip positive, workplace positive gossip, workplace rumor mill
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- Posted under Better Business, Communication, Teamwork
September 24, 2025 Building Can Be Better Than Creating
As a leader, it can be easy to get swept up in the excitement of change. We might attend a conference or discover a new program and want to implement what we’ve learned in the workplace. But large changes might seem more daunting than exciting to your team. Where you might see innovation and opportunity, they might see more work and tension. Or they may wonder what was so wrong with the old system. Rather than overhauling the system, there is a better approach to change.
Building on Strengths
Even in a flawed system, there are usually elements that work. Maybe a software program isn’t as efficient as it could be, but it’s easy to use. Or maybe your team is great at brainstorming new ideas, even if they never get implemented. Or perhaps individuals have many skills and strengths, but they do not tend to collaborate well with others. It’s a good idea to look for strengths before considering a complete system overhaul. Even if everything doesn’t work perfectly, you’ll likely find some elements that do work just fine.
Once you’ve identified the positive skills, habits, strengths, or attributes of your team, you can begin building on them. If the team is excellent at coming up with creative ideas, lean into that. Convey that you appreciate their talents and get them excited about stretching those skills even further while developing additional skills, such as time management or attention to detail. Set aside time for your team to really shine while also asking them to try something new.
When people are in their element, they are more likely to be open to constructive feedback and additional asks. Additionally, your team will probably be more willing to make changes when they play an active role in deciding how to approach the change.
Thinking about the creative team from the above example, you may challenge your people to come up with five potential solutions to improve meeting deadlines. Or you could ask them to brainstorm ideas for more effectively collaborating with the data analytics department.
Another part of building on knowledge and abilities involves language. Instead of focusing on and talking about deficiencies, start talking about positive traits that can be made even better. In the improv comedy world, the phrase “yes and…” is commonly used. Essentially, when someone is presented with a new, improvised situation, they can keep the scene going by accepting what is happening and building on it. This can create a back and forth that moves the action forward in new and often unexpected ways.
“I see you have a parrot.”
“Yes, and his name is Bill.”
“Yes, and I noticed he has a special diet of spaghetti and meatballs.”
“Yes, and he sometimes hosts pasta nights for his friends.”
This is a silly example, but the main idea is this: accept your team’s positive attributes and talk about how to build on them.
Yes, the team is great at customer service, AND they can use that skill to reach new markets.
Yes, the team is comprised of excellent individual performers, AND they can brainstorm ways to work better as a team.
The point is to leverage the skills and knowledge your team already has to make productive changes. Start noticing your people’s skills, tendencies, and attributes. Think about goals and areas of improvement. Then, work with them to co-create solutions to take the team to the next level. This is about building on what already exists, not starting from scratch.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: build on team's skills, building better than creating, developing team strengths, leadership and skill development, margaret smith leadership, Margaret Smith LP of Insights
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- Posted under Goals, Leadership, Teamwork
September 10, 2025 When Inviting Disagreement is a Good Thing
Leaders are taught to be confident and in charge. These can be great attributes, and it certainly doesn’t serve to be timid or self-conscious, but it’s possible to take these traits to an extreme. When that happens, the leader can inadvertently shut down others, which can stifle innovation and creativity, as well as decrease morale.
It may seem strange to welcome disagreement as a leader. After all, who likes to argue? But this is really just another way of saying that discussion, input, and alternative perspectives are welcome. A leader might think they’re being strong and efficient by putting forth a single plan and instructing their team on how to follow it. But in truth, they are closing the door on collaboration.
When teams collaborate to create a solution or come up with a plan, a few things happen. First, more voices are heard right away, which increases the chance of greater innovation and ingenuity. Additionally, when groups can have open discussions, they’re more likely to troubleshoot and catch potential problems before they even occur. And once a plan is agreed on, the team has more buy-in than they would if they simply had been handed a plan by the team leader.
- How can you facilitate discussion and encourage productive disagreement? Open the floor by using statements that welcome collaborative planning.
- Our annual budget is due next week. I was ready to make the same suggestions as last year, but I’d like your input on this. What haven’t I considered?
- The holiday party is coming up. What would your ideal event look like?
- We’re trying to tap into new customer markets. Instead of using the same methods, I’d love to hear your perspectives and ideas on what we could be doing.
Additionally, if you do decide to state your opinion or perspective, make it clear that you’re open to other options. Use phrases like:
- I welcome your input
- What do others think?
- What haven’t I thought of?
- Is there any aspect of this that doesn’t make sense?
- What improvements or alternatives would you suggest?
Then, make sure you are truly listening to suggestions and open to other viewpoints and ideas.
Leadership involves a certain amount of confidence, but that doesn’t mean bulldozing your team with set ideas and rigid agendas. The most effective leaders open the floor for discussion and respect all ideas, even allowing room for disagreement.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: how to have a productive discussion, Inviting disagreement as a leader, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, opening floor for discussion, productive disagreement
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- Posted under Better Business, Communication, Discussions
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