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“Creating Successful Leaders”

September 4, 2012 Body Language, And Why It’s Important

Body language has the ability to speak volumes when we communicate with others, often making a stronger impression in their memory than our words. In fact, 55% of communication comes from body language.  It’s important to be aware of how your posture, facial expressions and eye movement affect your overall impression when talking to a client or shooting for the big promotion.

Most of us understand body language very well and assume we also possess good “body speak.” However, you’d be surprised how many people I encounter who could work on this very important skill. Take a person involved in a team meeting for instance, who, rather than stay engaged in conversation and not miss opportunities to share in amazing problem solving, instead becomes overwhelmed with his Blackberry.

The reason why body language is so powerful is because it mirrors your internal thoughts and feelings. To illustrate this, let’s go over the what’s, how’s and why’s of positive body language.

Eye contact (or lack thereof) shows how attentive you are. Maintaining eye contact throughout a conversation clearly tells the other person that you care about them, that you’re listening, and that you are trying to form a connection with them. On the flip side, frequently losing eye contact to little distractions suggests that the person before you is only slightly more interesting than other things going on around you. Don’t do this! Prove you’re listening through your steady, confident gaze.  It’s okay to blink!

Keeping your body turned toward the person you’re speaking with is a physical sign that you are opening yourself up to them, ready to devote your time and full attention. It gives off the impression that your guard is down, that you trust them, and that they are welcome. This may sound like a no-brainer, but the alternative to this stance—having your body turned partially away—gives off a defensive signal, so you’ll want to be aware of how you sit/stand.

Your hands…what to do with them? To piggyback on the above point, your hands, arms and shoulders should coincide with your open body stance in order to say, “You are welcome, I trust you, and you are worth my time.” Crossed arms, tensed shoulders and fidgety hands display discomfort and/or distrust. This is a big no-no! Keep those shoulders relaxed and those arms open. Particularly, crossing your arms conveys a judgmental attitude; conversation is all about finding common ground, and you won’t be able to do this unless your body shows that you’re willing.

While these may seem obvious, it is never a bad idea to brush up on your skills. Here are a few less obvious body language cues which may take time to become aware of and utilize, but are of equal importance:

Being still. It is easy to get tensed up and fidgety, especially when you’re in an interview or giving a presentation. Maintaining a calm, relaxed stance in any situation shows confidence when you speak and provides comfort and welcoming when you listen. The trick? Breathe! Slow, deep breaths calm you, allowing you to be still, engaging, attentive. 

Nodding. Nodding is the universal “I follow you” sign. How can you possibly mess up something so simple? One word: Speed. Overly-fast, excessive nodding can be overwhelming and distracting to the person you’re speaking with. It also gives off the impression that you’re impatient, rushing them to the finish. This can make for a jarring experience for the other person. Instead, nod only when you really do agree or follow, and ask strong questions when you do not. Like the point above, when you do nod, it should be slow, calm, smooth. 

Leaning forward. You’ll find that you do this naturally when you’re engaged in something, be it a conversation, a ball game or your favorite TV show. Leaning backward communicates that you’re hesitant to engage with a person in conversation.

These small body cues go a long way. They help a person remember you, and if your body language is positive, the memory of their experience with you will follow. Practice these skills in front of a mirror, or with a partner. But also make an effort to become more aware of other people’s body language as you go about your day. How did certain poses, expressions, or behaviors make you feel? Paying attention to these cues will help you hone in on your own body language, and you can tweak your skills from there.

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August 29, 2012 “10 Tips for Feeling Less Trapped at Work” by Amy Lindgren

I read an article titled “10 Tips for Feeling Less Trapped at Work” in the Pioneer Press that aligns perfectly with many of the things I speak about and share with clients. The article’s author, Amy Lindgren, made the great observation that, due to the sluggish—if not non-existent at times—job market, “people feel trapped by the position or company they are currently employed by.”

I agree with the Lindgren’s claim that people feel trapped due to their limited employment options. But I’d like to take Lindgren’s idea one step further: Not is the job market slow, but employers are also struggling to figure out how to keep people engaged and excited about their positions at a time they can’t expand, offer the opportunities they previously offered, or challenge people in the ways they had hoped. In the work I do with companies and their employees, we seek to keep people energized and working on self-improvement so that they’re ready for the opportunities when they arise.

Lindgren supports her claim by urging readers to “make the best of the situation while you are waiting for the tide to turn.”

Her 10 Tips Include:

1. Go Deeper or Get More Shallow: If you are just barely there mentally, getting more deeply involved might engage more of your skills and increase your sense of satisfaction.

2. Seek Balance and Variety: While jobs that are the same every day can be comforting, they can also be numbing. Can you switch some duties with a co-worker to provide more balance in your day?

3. Take Your Breaks: Always take your lunch breaks, a short walk in the morning or afternoon, or any other opportunity to clear your mind, change our perspective, get re-energized, and increase your heart rate. Stepping away from your desk gets blood flowing to your brain and keeps your energy up. Americans are known for sitting long hours, skipping breaks and eating lunch at their desks.

4. Shake Up Your Routine: Instead of eating a sandwich at your desk, eat it while taking a walk outdoors. Maybe you can start a lunch club with co-workers or a Friday potluck.

5. Build Work Relationships: We’re all in this together, after all. Why not do something as a group once a month?

6. Go Home on Time at Least 3 Days a Week: If you can’t get all your work done, there’s either too much work on your plate or you’re using time inefficiently. Whether it’s too much work, or not working the right way, solve the problem.

7. Do Something Outside of Work: Look for something to do that is just for you, such as a good work out—perhaps yoga?

8. Solve a Different Problem: If your work issues seem intractable, turn your attention to other problems that need resolution in your life. How long are you willing to put those things on hold while you wait for work to improve?

9. Start Your Career Exploration Process: If you’ve been itching to move on, this can be within your company or outside of it. It’s never too early to start the networking, planning, and exposure necessary to make a new calling a reality. If you wait, you may be slowing down your progress when the time is right.

10. Prepare Your Resume: Having your resume ready will increase your sense of empowerment and help make all of your accomplishments more obvious to you. This is surely a way to feel less trapped.

Read all of the details of Amy’s comments at:  PioneerPress.com

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August 21, 2012 What the Beach Teaches You About Leadership

By Margaret Smith, UXL: Creating Successful Leaders
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

For me the ocean is a magical place where I can relax and get lost in the consistency and the power of the waves. It’s also a place where I witness amazing imagination in other people and a calm that doesn’t exist in their everyday world.

I recently spent two weeks on the beach in Delaware where my family has a house. It’s become a tradition for family and friends to gather there for the last two weeks of July. I’m never quite sure whose car will pull in the driveway or where they will sleep, but that’s the fun of being ‘at the beach’. It always works out and there always seems to be plenty of food and floor space!

It may come as a surprise, but the beach turned out to be offer a lot more than sun, water, and sand. I actually observed a lot of amazing leadership truths while I relaxed and watched.

What the Beach Teaches You About Leadership:

1. Be Open: As they say, “if you build it, they will come.” Start building a tradition today—the memories are priceless. You may also find you have more friends than you realized and the laughter outpaces the ice making. My family came from Colorado, Georgia, Virginia, and Pennsylvania (we came from Minnesota, but that doesn’t count!). High school and college friends showed up, even just for a day. It was a treat to look west and see someone who we hadn’t seen in a year crossing the dunes laden with an umbrella, chairs, and sunscreen!

2. Get Outdoors: The ocean is entertainment for all ages.  A pile of sand and the mystery of the next wave brings out the child in everyone. Young children, parents who probably are difficult to pull away from their blackberry, and grandparents all mix it up on the beach. It was the real great American get together.

3. Take Risks: One morning I was taking a walk at the water’s edge and observed a mother with her three children. I would guess her kids were around 5 to 8 years old, and they were all preparing to take on the waves. Their mother was giving them instructions on how to jump and dive to avoid getting blasted and thrown up on the shore like the sea shells they had been picking up. As she dove into water that was roaring and foaming and changing depths she yelled, “Come on go for it!” The look on their faces read, “Are you kidding?! I can’t see the bottom, I don’t know what is out there… It goes on forever! Is she nuts?” Despite their fears, they soon go the hang of it.

Later, I saw the children’s mother yelling at them ‘ot to walk back to their beach house alone. The oddness of her concern about walking to the house vs. jumping into this massive, ferocious looking body of water that they knew nothing about struck me. The ocean has the power to make taking risks a good thing.

4. Challenge Yourself: I love watching the Olympics, and I could see the same energy and challenge of the Olympics demonstrated all along the beach. Volleyball became popular, with nets going up every 100 yards, girls doing cartwheels, races being held, new games being created, and all in the spirit of healthy competition and the creativity. We sure are capable of new ideas when we’re not glued to a screen. In here lies a strong message for all of us: Move a little and accept a new challenge.

5. Pitch In: You carry so much stuff to the beach for the day and everyone needs to pitch in. And, just as soon as we get it out there, we have to help carry it back to the house (and it never fits as well when it’s full of sand!). Even the smallest in the family helped and felt like an important part of the team. Many times we observed people reaching out  to help someone laden with beach supplies and sandy kids make it over the dunes. We’re all in ‘this’ together—it’s a lot more fun with some help.

Thanks for listening. I can’t wait until next year!

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