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“Creating Successful Leaders”

February 19, 2025 Replacing Worry with Action

Worry is a normal human emotion that certainly has its place. It can help us to be more cautious, learn from mistakes, and plan. However, it can also take over our brains and our reasoning. It can paralyze us with fear, make us feel anxious, or flood us with pessimism. This type of worry isn’t productive. In fact, it’s counterproductive. But once we begin to fret about something, it can sometimes be difficult to stop.

How do we end the tailspin of worry and start moving forward productively? One way is to replace worry with action.

Why Do We Worry?

To start, it is useful to consider why we tend to worry. Worrying is all about anticipation—thinking about potential negative outcomes that might occur in the future. We worry when we sense that something bad is about to happen, or when a situation is spiraling out of control.

And sometimes we have good reason to worry. If we’ve experienced similar situations in the past, for instance, we might assume that the current situation will turn out the same. Or, all signs might point to a negative outcome. Or, we have information that indicates things will go poorly.

On the other hand, some worries come from sources that cannot necessarily be trusted. For example, if people around you are worrying about something (an office project, the housing market, the cost of eggs), that might cause you to also worry, even if their fears are unfounded. Additionally, with so much false information and clickbait flying around social media (and the internet, in general), you might find yourself worrying about things that are blown out of proportion or are downright untrue.

While someof your worries might be reasonable and rooted in facts, that doesn’t mean it pays to worry. If you get too caught up in your fears, you don’t do yourself any favors. Instead of falling down the rabbit hole, it’s better to face your worries and use them productively.

Turning Worry into Action

One of the best ways to combat worries is by converting them into actions. Start by taking the time to analyze what is causing your anxiety. Then consider whether you have any sway over the outcome.

Thinking about the root of your anxieties, ask yourself, “What steps can I take to influence the future?” For example, if you’re worried about how a client will react to a certain work project, how can you modify the project to better align with the client’s expectations? Can you give a better presentation to the client? Or redo part of the project? Could you, perhaps, express your fears to your team and ask for their advice? All of these actions are productive and can potentially have a positive impact.

Sometimes, the things that occupy our minds and cause us to worry are things that seem far beyond our control. In that case, we can acknowledge that we are not entirely in charge of the outcome, but we can do our best to move the needle in a positive direction. For example, if you are worried about the current state of politics and the government, you could put some of your energy into volunteering for political campaigns, human rights organizations, or political nonprofits. Another example: if you’re worried about children’s education in the US, you could volunteer at a school, support after-school programs, mentor a student, or donate to organizations focused on education.

Other actions you could take include talking with others about the issues you care about, blogging about them, donating time or money, or starting local or neighborhood groups. These are all great ways to focus your anxieties into action.

While you may be a small fish in a large pond, you have the power to make a difference, even in your own small sphere of influence. If you find yourself worrying about something nonstop, that may be a sign to pause, think about the root cause of your fears, and consider what small actions you could take to produce a positive outcome. Even if something feels beyond your control, your actions can still make a difference to someone (and that, alone, is huge).

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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February 5, 2025 6 Compassionate Leadership Actions

I am a big proponent of heart-led leadership. So many leadership courses, books, and webinars teach us that leaders have to be firm, competent, excellent communicators, and assertive. While those traits can be helpful in leadership, I would put a different trait above them: compassion.

When people think about compassion and kindness in leadership, they may think that means the leader is soft or a “pushover.” In my experience, however, kindness does not automatically mean weakness. It is very possible to be both kind and assertive. It is possible to genuinely care about your people and create firm boundaries and expectations.

Instead of a weakness, I see kindness as a superpower. When you take the time to truly get to know your people, listen to them, and offer genuine compassion and respect, you foster a positive work environment where people want to show up and do good work. When people feel that they are part of a caring team, they will want to put their best foot forward, meet deadlines, and perform at their peak. They’re motivated to do better, because they know the company’s leadership has a vested interest in them and their success.

To establish yourself as a kind, caring leader, you can begin by taking a few action steps that convey your heart-led leadership style. Here are 6 suggestions:

Schedule One-on-Ones

Even busy leaders can find fifteen or twenty minutes to meet one-on-one with a team member. Taking the time to check in with someone individually will not only convey that you care, but will also provide some valuable time for you to get to know the person across the table on a personal level. This can be difficult to achieve in group settings, especially if the person is not terribly open or outspoken.

Get to Know Your People

When engaging in one-on-ones, it’s a good idea to ask a few “get to know you” questions. Start learning about your team members’ backgrounds, families, pets, and interests, and be sure to touch on these things in subsequent meetings (“How is your mom? Is she feeling any better since her accident?”). If you need help remembering details about others, try creating a spreadsheet dedicated to tracking information about each team member—the name of their kids, the type of dog they have, etc. Few people have a perfect memory, and there’s no shame in using a tool to help yourself out.

Open Up

When you’re getting to know others, it is important to reciprocate. Any relationship, including work relationships, are healthiest when they are a two-way street. Offer information about yourself when it seems relevant and appropriate. For example, if your team member is talking about an upcoming vacation, you might tell them a little about your experience visiting that area, or you could talk about your own upcoming trip.

Ask Good Questions (and Listen!)

Asking good questions is an art. When sitting down with someone, it’s important to not just talk at them or ask yes/no questions. Instead, ask open-ended questions that prompt a dialogue. These types of questions can help you get to know the other person and will help you gauge the temperature of the workplace (Are tempers hot? Has enthusiasm for a project or client cooled?).

But asking questions isn’t enough. It is also critical to listen to the answers and attempt to understand the other person’s perspective. If you’re unsure about what someone is saying, or you need more details, be sure to ask follow-up questions. Alternatively, you could repeat back what you think you heard by saying, “It sounds like you’re saying XYZ, is that correct?”

Show Genuine Appreciation

Pay attention to your people and show them appreciation whenever they go above and beyond. Call out outstanding performance, recognize achievements, or write out a thank you card. These small acts can make an enormous difference.

Take Action to Improve the Workplace

When sitting down with your people, you might discover that they are unhappy with certain aspects of the workplace. If that’s the case, it is imperative to take steps to create change. You don’t want to be the type of person who is all talk and no action. Rather, if you are genuinely committed to being a positive presence, that means taking meaningful action to improve the workplace and the lives of the people who work for you.

Kindness and compassion are not incompatible with strong leadership. Rather, it can help improve morality, foster a better work environment, and create an energized atmosphere in the office. How might the modern workplace transform if all leaders chose to be kind?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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January 22, 2025 Why Create a “Comfort List”?

Sometimes we simply need a break. However, even when life gets tough, we do not always step back, breathe, and treat ourselves well. Instead, we do what all those self-help books tell us to do: power through, be “gritty,” adapt a growth mindset, persevere. While it can be useful to keep going at times, sometimes it is necessary to slow down, give yourself grace, and take a break.

Why Take a Break?

Giving ourselves space to breathe is not selfish, and it shouldn’t be a rare luxury. In truth, when we take care of our mental, physical, and emotional health, we empower ourselves to be better and do better. While some believe only long work hours and “the grind” can help you succeed, studies have found that isn’t the case. A team at Harvard Business Review analyzed over 80 studies and found that, “Pausing work throughout the day can improve well-being and also help with getting more work done…taking breaks within work hours not only does not detract from performance, but can help boost it.”

And the benefits go beyond the workplace. When we give ourselves space and time, we are better able to process complex or difficult situations. When we allow ourselves room to think, we can come up with better solutions to overcome personal issues, negative relationship dynamics, and other sticking points. Occasionally taking a meaningful respite can help us to reenergize, regain our patience, and prevent burnout.

Make It Meaningful

One key word in the last sentence is “meaningful.” When we do convince ourselves it’s okay to take a break, we may not know what to do with ourselves. Instead of taking a meaningful break or engaging in an actual form of relaxation, we end up turning on the TV or scrolling through social media. This may be a temporary band-aid, but it can also have the opposite effect. The news might increase our anxiety, and social media might create unrealistic standards for our homes, our relationships, and ourselves. What to do instead?

Consider creating a “comfort list.” This can be a go-to list of items that will help you relax and unwind in a meaningful way. In addition to including your ideas for meaningful breaks/comforts, the list can also be divided into quick, straightforward activities as well as more involved activities. If you need to take a break NOW and don’t have time to engage in anything too elaborate, opt for one of the quicker activities. If you really need some time to unwind, look to the more involved activities.

Some quick, short-term, easy activities for a “comfort list” could include:

  • Reading a chapter in a book
  • Making a cup of tea and doing a crossword puzzle
  • Stretching
  • Going to the movies (by yourself or with someone)
  • Doing a little baking or cooking while listening to a podcast
  • Journaling
  • Meditating
  • Walking outside (by yourself or with a companion)

More involved activities could include:

  • Going to a coffee shop with a book in hand
  • Doing yoga or hitting the gym
  • Taking a cooking class
  • Grabbing a beverage or an appetizer with a close friend
  • Going to the library
  • Heading to a local conservatory
  • Going to a theater production
  • Taking a community education class
  • Volunteering to walk dogs or play with kittens

Even more involved activities could include:

  • Planning a vacation
  • Booking a nearby hotel room for a “staycation” (and hot tub time!)
  • Having a spa day

The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and on the brink of a burnout, take a look at the comfort list you put together. Which activities might help to rejuvenate you? Do you need to do something right now, or do you have the time and patience to engage in one of the more involved activities? We all need breaks, and this type of list can help you find the self-care you need when you don’t feel creative enough to come up with ideas to relax. Just turn to your list and start getting the (much needed) care you require.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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