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“Creating Successful Leaders”

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May 21, 2014 When Life Gives You Lemons: Turning A Bad Situation Into Something Positive

At the end of 2007, many of my close associates watched in horror as the economic crisis took millions of Americans’ jobs, homes, and dreams. None of us had ever seen anything like it.

It was bad. And it continues to be bad for many people. But as it turned out, what came out of the crisis for me was a journey I never envisioned myself embarking on.

It started as friends of mine–old colleagues, neighbors, and family–began to confide in me: “I’ve been in the same career for years, and now it’s gone!” they’d tell me. “What do I do now? Go back to school? I can’t do that, I’m too old!”

I also heard: “I’ve never had to write a resume, can you believe that?”

Actually, I can believe it. Many of my peers were blessed with secure, longterm jobs in which they excelled for decades, so that they had no need (they assumed) to keep a polished, updated resume on hand. When the economic downturn left them frantic, it was only then that they realized their mistake. So I helped them craft a resume that would optimize their chances at landing another job.

At first, I was simply being a friend to individuals in need of guidance. I’d meet with folks for coffee and offer what advice my experiences had equipped me with. Then, I began to discover that I was truly good at helping people to find their path, and that I really enjoyed doing it.

So, You Excel Now was born. Today, I still coach numerous individuals on a one-to-one basis, but as this thing just keeps on growing, I’ve started turning my message and experience into talks, workshops and keynote addresses in order to reach more people. It doesn’t look like it’ll slow down anytime soon.

Here’s my point: All of this happened for me as a result of a really, really bad thing: the 2008 crash. While I’m obviously not glad the crisis happened, it serves as a good reminder that life is unpredictable, and often doesn’t do what we want it to do. The good news is, we get to choose how we handle it.

When you look at it right, you’ll find something good to take away from almost any bad situation. At the very least, a bad situation always equips you with a powerful learning experience. But oftentimes, bad situations open the door for new, potentially amazing opportunities. Had I not chosen to look at a disastrous situation as something potentially positive, I can’t say for sure that I would have found myself on this amazing journey as a career and life coach.

So keep your eyes peeled!

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February 27, 2014 Dealing With Setbacks

We show our true colors when things don’t go as planned. It’s easy to be kind, confident and happy when everything goes our way, but not so much when we encounter that unavoidable road block.

If you have a pulse, you’re going to hit road blocks. So how do you prepare yourself to deal with failures and letdowns with grace and character?

1.  Take a step back.

Think of all the times in your life when you thought it was the end of the world. How often did that turn out to be true? I’m guessing never, since the world is clearly still here. It’s easy to get trapped in doomsday thinking when you run into a real problem. The truth is, it’s almost never as bad as you think it is at that given moment. When you learn to reinforce this while you’re brain is in crisis mode, you’ll be able to take a step back and see the situation more clearly.

2. Don’t give up.

Your self-destructive voice in your head I like to call your saboteur will take every stumble as a chance to encourage you to throw in the towel. Don’t listen!

It takes thousands of hours of work to reach success and mastery, and nobody gets it the first time around. Be patient with yourself, and keep plugging away.

3. Reach out.

Letdowns, failures, and detours can be embarrassing. The last thing you may feel like doing is going to someone else for help and support. But just remember, there’s no shame in failure, only shame in not trying in the first place. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how happy your friends and family will be to get behind you. You need only be humble and honest about your situation.

4. Revise your plan of attack.

If you’re constantly failing at the same task or project, there’s a good chance you need to change your plan altogether. The definition of insanity, after all, is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Take hiccups as a chance to reassess your strategy. What’s not working? Why? How can you make it work? You may need to reign in your goals a bit, and this is okay. It’s better to make incremental steps forward than to have grand plans that you’re unable to reach.

Take comfort in the fact that setbacks are part of the process, and keep plugging away!

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February 6, 2014 The Simple Power of the Smile

I just watched this great TED talk and feel it’s definitely worth sharing.

Smiling is such a no-brainer that we often forget to appreciate its immense power.

Speaker Ron Gutman points out that smiling is a sign of longevity. Those who smile wide and often live longer.

But beyond being a sign of good health, smiling has the power to encourage, to unite, and to inspire. Smiling is contagious. A genuine smile transforms both the smiler and the people around him/her.

Don’t believe me? Take a day or two to really pay attention to your facial expressions. I promise that if you tend to frown, and make a point to smile instead, you’ll feel better. You’ll notice that those around you will respond more enthusiastically as well.

Try it out!

Further reading: An article in Psychology Today describing the science behind smiling.

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