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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Tips for Improving Interactions

January 25, 2012 4 Ways to “Stop Being a Jerk” from INC Magazine

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

We have all experienced a work life under the tyranny of a thankless and critical boss. Not very much fun, right? Similarly, we have all probably been guilty of being less nice than we could be at work. With these things in mind, I thought it might be useful to share with you the following interesting tidbits from Inc Magazine’s October 2011 issue.

Here’s an Idea: Stop Being a Jerk

1.  Don’t ban the water cooler. “It used to drive me crazy to see people talking about other things at work. Now, I’m glad they’re doing it,” says Jay Steinfeld, founder and CEO of Houston-based Blinds.com. As he reminds readers, “you can’t be paranoid and creative at the same time; it’s impossible.” It’s important that people have an opportunity to interact like human beings!

2.  Don’t discount community service. Being an active participant in charity and community service “trains people’s minds to think about improving other people’s lives,” explains Steinfeld. And I couldn’t agree more! What better way to find a place to reinforce your contribution, self-esteem, and sense of worth?

3.  Don’t Ignore the good tries. Responding to the failed attempts of others with anger, disappointment, or lectures often discourages others to avoid trying new things and taking risks (both of which are essential to fostering a spirit of innovation). “Years ago, I would ream out people when they failed,” says Steinfeld. “Now I tell them, ‘Hey, it didn’t work, but I’m pleased you gave it a shot.’ And say it in front of others. I want people to experiment without fear of failure.”

4.  Don’t leave it up to HR. Instead of wiping your hands clean of your contribution to the company culture, realize that it’s completely up to you. “Nothing happens if the top doesn’t agree or even personally care about it,” reminds Steinfeld.

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January 19, 2012 Are You Practicing Faux Flexibility?

By Margaret Smith, UXL
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

“If you ask most people, ‘Are you flexible or rigid?’ they’ll tell you they’re flexible,” says Howard Gardner, Harvard cognitive psychologist (as quoted in O Magazine, May 2005).

Most of us will claim to be open to change in our lives and opinions, but would you say that most people you meet are actually flexible? Probably not. This is because most of us practice what Gardner refers to as “fundamentalism” Although the term is most commonly used in reference to religion, it can also be used to describe our preference not to change our minds. “There’s fundamentalism—a commitment not to alter our opinions—in every sphere,” he explains.

Certainly, my own interactions with others (especially as a life coach) can attest to this notion!

So how do we open up our own minds and the minds of others to new ideas and ways of thinking?

The acclaimed psychologist offers some innovative suggestions for challenging our mindset and freshening up our convictions:

1. Subscribe to publications that cut across the political and scientific spectrum.

2. Seek out balanced arguments, instead of indulging in arguments that feed your preexisting beliefs.

3. Talk to people from different backgrounds to challenge your orthodoxy—travel!

4. Understand the resistance of others. Gardner suggests you do this by attempting to “draw the other person out” and “listen charismatically”.

5. Stop the attack and pursue insight instead by taking on the perspective of the other person.

6. Choose an agreeable point of entry. Gardner offers two less-direct strategies:
a) Find links between your case and individual points of appeal
b) demonstrate your willingness to be flexible by picking something you’ve been resisting and trying it (Gardner calls this
“embodiment”).

7. Mix up the meeting place. A change of context can help to break patterns of thought.

8. Think like a teenager (You’re probably thinking God help us!). Before you panic, understand that by this, Gardner means asking the question “What are the possibilities?” because the question opens “a wider panorama” of possibilities.

Hopefully you will be able to successfully rethink your own convictions and encourage those around you to do the same with these interesting and useful tactics for changing your mindset!

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January 9, 2012 Small Changes that Lead to Better Living

By Margaret Smith, UXL
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

Sometimes all it takes is a small change to our daily lives to shake things up a bit and rearrange the way we live. Whether you’re interested in revamping your career or your social life, these simple tips will add a little freshness to your typical day.

Stop Dreaming about It and Ask for It!

“Ask and you shall receive” and “the squeaky wheel gets the oil” are popular idioms because they’re both true. Instead of dreaming about that interesting project or wishing that you could work for your dream company, actually go for it! Whether it’s being persistent about a job opening or pushing for more opportunities at work, don’t hesitate to ask for what you want.

Get Involved

Join a network or attend a program that will keep you motivated, informed, and engaged. Nothing is better for motivation than surrounding yourself with other driven and inspirational people. Even if it’s as simple as setting aside time to meet with your friends to discuss your career or current local issues, gathering with the goal of sharing and supporting is always good for exchanging new ideas and propelling change.

Expand Your Mind

It’s never too late to learn a new skill or try something new. Taking that Thai cooking class or attending a seminar on technology may be just the thing you need to rediscover creative energy, make new connections, and reshape your life.

Do Something Differently

We often cling to our habits and routines because they’re comfortable and safe. But what if mixing up your route to work made your day a little more relaxed? How about skipping the typical perfectionist attitude about your morning routine? You may just discover a better way of living.

Mix the Professional and Personal

Stop attempting to separate your human connections into categories such as “professional” and “personal”. If you begin to deconstruct this division, you’ll find that the people you interact with through work are a great addition to your social existence, and that your personal connections can also offer fantastic insight and benefits into your career. After all, you do often spend more time during the week with your coworkers than your family—why not enjoy it?!

Do you have questions about developing your career, landing the job of your dreams, or finding more joy and contentment in life? Contact UXL Today to transform the future of your business or career through guided professional coaching.

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