Category Archives: Tips for Improving Interactions
November 6, 2024 Choosing Kindness (More Important Than Ever)
In a world that often feels increasingly divided and polarized, the simple act of choosing kindness has never been more crucial. Through both my life experiences and my work as a career/life coach, I have observed the profound impact that kindness (or the lack thereof) can have on our personal and professional lives.
The Importance of Kindness
Kindness is not just a feel-good concept; it is a powerful tool that can transform our relationships, our communities, and even our own well-being. When we choose to be kind, we open ourselves up to deeper connections, foster understanding, and create an environment where everyone feels valued and respected.
In a world that has become increasingly divided, with political and social tensions running high, the need for kindness is more pressing than ever. We have become a nation where civility, good manners, and basic humanity have been overshadowed by the constant need to prove our own point of view or to win at all costs.
The Impact of Kindness
The impact of kindness cannot be overstated. When we choose to be kind, we not only make a positive difference in the lives of others, but we also reap the benefits ourselves. According to an article written by the Mayo Clinic, kindness has positive effects on both the mind and body. The article says, “Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood. It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a hormone directly correlated with stress levels. People who give of themselves in a balanced way also tend to be healthier and live longer.”
Kindness is also a mood booster. It can make us happier, reduce stress, and improve our overall mental and emotional well-being. In short, the simple act of choosing kindness can be a powerful antidote!
Practicing Kindness in Everyday Life
Keep in mind, kindness doesn’t have to be grand or dramatic; it can be found in the small, everyday moments that make up our lives. Here are some ideas for incorporating more kindness into your daily routine:
- Practice active listening and be present with the people in your life
- Extend grace and understanding when someone is having a bad day
- Be patient and understanding with service people
- Practice empathy—attempt to see another’s point of view before passing judgment or responding negatively
- Refrain from online squabbling. Little it achieved through fighting behind your screen!
- Offer a compliment, give a few words of encouragement, or give someone a sincere “thank you” whenever it makes sense (consider sending a handwritten card)
In a world that often feels divided and polarized, the choice to be kind can be a powerful act of resistance. When we choose kindness, we are challenging the narrative of “us vs. them” and instead embracing the idea that we are all in this together. Though it’s easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of political and social debates, I’m certain you can find common ground with just about anyone if you just look for it. At the end of the day, many of us care about the same things—our family (and pets), our friends or community, our home, financial security, our career. Keep that in mind the next time you’re with someone who does not share all your points of view or beliefs.
Remember: kindness doesn’t mean that we have to agree with everyone or that we can’t stand up for our beliefs. It simply means that we approach our interactions with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to listen and learn. When we choose kindness, we create space for meaningful dialogue, and we open the door to the possibility of finding solutions that benefit everyone.
In a world that often feels overwhelming and uncertain, the choice to be kind can be a powerful act of hope and resilience. By embracing kindness in our everyday lives, we can not only improve our own well-being but also contribute to a more compassionate and connected world.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: be kind after election, bridge differences, choosing kindness, importance of kindness, kindness more important than ever, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith professional speaker
July 31, 2024 The Power of Forgiveness
As we move through life, we will inevitably deal with less-than-ideal interactions and experiences. Unfortunately, these disagreeable moments have a tendency to stick with us. Studies have revealed that people have a negativity bias, which (it is theorized) is caused by our brain’s tendency to notice things that are dangerous or potentially harmful in order to protect us. So, we often absorb the bad while glossing over the good.
While our negativity bias may be intended to help us, it can also hurt us if we dwell on the negative too long. Being constantly angry, frustrated, or annoyed is damaging on many levels. It can affect our mental and physical wellbeing (elevating heartrates and increasing muscle tension). It can impact our relationships with others. Or, it can impede our ability to be productive and energized.
In my experience, one of the most effective ways of shedding this negativity—and those feelings of anger, frustration, and annoyance—is to practice forgiveness.
You probably encounter dozens of annoying situations every day. Perhaps a co-worker didn’t make a deadline or forgot to schedule an appointment with an important client. Maybe your family has made a mess in the house. Or, maybe the barista behind the counter messed up your order. Whatever the case, we can deal with these situations in two ways:
1) Get angry and hold a grudge
2) Acknowledge the annoyance, move on, and forgive
It’s okay to be temporarily frustrated or upset. It’s fine for your negativity bias to kick in. However, these reactions become problematic when we cling to them too long—when we dwell on them and let them take over our day.
A bit part of moving past a problem involves forgiveness, especially when it comes to little, everyday annoyances. If you do not forgive, you end up wasting a lot of time and energy being mad and stewing over the situation. This isn’t to say you should let bad behavior slide; instead, it’s a good idea to address the problem, forgive, and move on. Take the example of your co-worker missing a deadline.
If a co-worker fails to complete a project on time, that can be incredibly frustrating (especially if it’s an important project OR if this is a common behavior). Instead of seething in your office or complaining to other co-workers, I encourage you to face the problem head on. Talk to the person directly, explain the impact of their actions (on you and the company), and strategize ways to meet future deadlines. If you are a leader and this person is one of your team members, you may also discuss disciplinary actions that will be taken if the problem persists.
Once you’ve worked out a solution, make a conscious effort to forgive that person and move on.
The same actions can be applied in other situations. If the Starbucks barista messes up your order, you can politely approach the window, explain the error, and say that you have no problem waiting for a new coffee. This all boils down to three steps:
1. Come up with a solution
2. Forgive
3. Move on
While your negativity bias is trying to help you, long-term negativity will only harm you. Shed your resentments, do your best to forgive, and keep moving forward. You’ll be happier in the long run, and you’ll feel lighter without the weight of all those grudges.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: forgiving and moving on, how to forgive and move on, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, moving past annoyances, power of forgiveness
July 24, 2024 Choosing to Be Kind
Many things in life are out of our control. We cannot choose the weather, or magically erase traffic jams, or guarantee that our co-worker (or spouse, cashier, or client) is in a good mood today. Sometimes your tire will go flat. Sometimes a project will flop or an initiative will not be well-received. Although we certainly cannot pull all of life’s strings, we are not entirely helpless. Some things still fall within our sphere of influence.
One of the most important things we can control is how we respond to situations. If, for example, a co-worker has failed to meet a project deadline, we can lash out, send an angry email, or talk about that person behind their back. Or, we could take a more tactful approach—one revolving around kindness and empathy. Instead of getting angry, we can sit down with that person, talk about what happened, and attempt to gain a better understanding of why the deadline was not met. Maybe the co-worker had a family emergency, or a personal health scare. Or maybe they simply saw the deadline as a suggestion, rather than a firm end date.
When you talk to this person, you can also tell them how you feel, and how missing the deadline affected you, other co-workers, and the company as a whole. In short, by choosing to be kind, you start a dialogue. You begin to build a bridge between yourself and the other person, rather than erecting a wall between the two of you.
Kindness, patience, and understanding are powerful tools, both in the workplace and in daily life. When you adopt an attitude of kindness, you’re more likely to have productive conversations and interactions. On the other hand, when you’re frustrated or short with someone, they will probably reciprocate that frustration, which can lead to a tense, unpleasant, and unproductive interaction.
Kindness is great for problem-solving, too. In an atmosphere where kindness rules, people feel safe to share their ideas, even if they’re outside the norm. Brainstorming sessions become less stressful and more effective. This goes for other types of problem-solving too. If your car breaks down on the side of the road, you can be as angry as you’d like (and sometimes letting off steam does feel good), but that doesn’t solve anything. It’s better to take a breath, take a step back, and assess the situation. Be kind to yourself as you figure out what to do.
We have the opportunity to respond with kindness every single day. This coming week, I challenge you to turn up your kindness dial and see how the world changes around you. How will cashiers or baristas respond when you’re patient and cheerful? How will your family react to your efforts to be more present and caring? What if you chose to be as kind and empathetic as possible in the workplace?
In my experience, kindness opens doors and builds bridges. How might it change your world?
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: choosing kindness, choosing to be kind, kindness and your sphere of influence, kindness at work, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith LP of Insights
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