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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Tips for Improving Interactions

April 15, 2015 Dealing with a Negative Co-Worker

Have you ever experienced this kind of situation: You arrive at work, full of motivation and positivity; you’re ready to tackle your projects and get lots of quality work done today. Then, a negative co-worker drops by, begins griping about the office, your boss, the break room, his/her personal life, the weather…and all of a sudden you’re deflated. Your positive attitude has flown out the window and you’re left feeling drained and lethargic. Sound familiar?

Unfortunately, you’ll most likely encounter your fair share of negative people throughout your professional career. But how do you deal with them? How do you prevent them from sucking away your energy and motivation?

Here are five techniques:

1. Offer solutions

Many negative Neds and Nancys just like to complain…and they expect you to just listen. Take the wind from their sails by offering a potential solution to their troubles. If they reject your help, end the conversation by saying, “Sorry. I guess I’m not sure how to help you, then.”

2. Set a time limit

If the negative people in your life like to ramble on and on about their problems, privately set a time limit for how much you can take. After, say, three minutes, jump into their ramblings and say, “I’m sorry things are going so poorly right now, Tracy, but I really need to get back to work. Good luck with everything.”

3. Ask questions

If your negative co-worker tends to exaggerate his problems, set him on the straight and narrow by asking clarifying questions. For example: “Oh, wow, it sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot of extra work lately. How late did you end up staying in the office on Tuesday? And how many projects did the boss send you at the last minute?” Your clarifying questions will likely discourage your co-worker from seeking you out as a passive, sympathetic ear.

4. Seek positive people

You might not always be able to avoid negative people in the office, but you can seek out those with positive attitudes and healthy motivation.

5. Take a step back

If you find yourself being dragged down by negative attitudes, distance yourself from the situation. Find a quiet place in the office and take a few minutes to think about your latest encounter with negativity and why it had such a powerful effect on you. Recognize that you do have the power to separate yourself from negative thinking and continue down your own track. If you discover that others’ negative attitudes are having a profound effect on your work, don’t be afraid to talk over the situation with a trusted supervisor.

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April 1, 2015 Are You an Ambivert?

It is easy to pigeonhole people. It’s easy to say, “You’re like this,” “I’m like that,” “You behave like this…” But the effects this type of stereotyping can have on people can damage a person’s confidence or might inhibit their growth. One of the most common ways we think about others is labeling them as an introvert or an extrovert. We generally think of extraverts as boisterous, open, and social and think of introverts as quiet, secretive, and reclusive. But are people really either one thing or the other?

Definitely not. Even the acclaimed psychologist, Carl Jung, identified a third personality type: the ambivert. He said this group is “the most numerous and includes the less differentiated normal man.”

An ambivert is someone who is socially flexible and attempts to strike a balance between extraversion and introversion. Ambiverts adapt to different situations in the way they think is best—either with an introverted or extraverted tilt. Additionally, they often have a healthy emotional balance that extreme extroverts or introverts sometimes lack.

Ambiverts can also be more successful in sales. According to Adam M. Grant, author of the research paper Rethinking the Extraverted Sales Ideal: The Ambivert Advantage, “Ambiverts achieve greater sales productivity than extraverts or introverts do…Because they naturally engage in a flexible pattern of talking and listening, ambiverts are likely to express sufficient assertiveness and enthusiasm to persuade and close a sale but are more inclined to listen to customers’ interests and less vulnerable to appearing too excited or overconfident.”

As an Insights® Discovery practitioner, I appreciate the term ambivert. One of the great things about Insights®(a personality and behavioral assessment based on the studies of Carl Jung) is that it takes into account human adaptability and dynamism. We might have good days and bad days; we might react one way at a social gathering and another way in an office setting; we might feel extraverted in some situations and introverted in others. Although, according to Insights®, we may “lead” with a certain personality, we all have the capability to embody other personalities as well. (If you’re curious about how Insights® can lead to better inter-office relationships and improved communication, contact me anytime).

So, what do you think? Are you an ambivert?

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March 25, 2015 The Power of Storytelling in Sales

“A good salesperson knows how to talk; a great salesperson knows how to tell a story.” –Rivka Willick, story coach and writer

It is human nature to listen to and trust stories. Ever since we were children, we’ve been surrounded by narratives—on television, in movies, in books, from our grandparents. Sure, stories are fun, but they are also powerful and there are scientific reasons as to why people are attracted to stories. According to neuroeconomics pioneer Paul Zak, “Stories that are highly engaging and contain key elements — including a climax and denouement – can elicit powerful empathic responses by triggering the release Oxytocin. Often referred to as the ‘trust hormone,’ this neurochemical promotes connection and encourages people to feel empathy.”

So, how can you use this powerful technique to gain trust and win sales? Here are a few methods:

1. Keep it relevant

It’s great if you have an amazing story about fly-fishing in Montana, but is that really what your prospective wants to hear? Instead, focus on the material you’re presenting. How can you bring it to life with a relevant story? Perhaps you have a tidbit about how your product positively affected someone? Or maybe you have an interesting story about the products’ development or value? Brainstorm and jot some ideas down on a notepad. Then, run them by your co-workers or friends to gain their input.

2. Have a beginning, middle, and end

This point may seem obvious, but it is absolutely crucial. Storyteller Kambri Crews said in an interview with Entrepreneur.com that, “The beginning should hook your audience, while the end, the call to action, must be clear.” If your story is jumbled, your prospective client may have trouble deciphering the main message or become disengaged.

3. Remember the “elements of a good story”

Sales Benchmark Index has some great advice on using basic storytelling elements to create a compelling tale. They break down a story into the Hero, Stimulus, Conflict, Crossroad, and Moral. Here is an explanation of the elements:

  • Sympathetic main character, AKA the Hero. The audience should be able to see themselves in the hero and the situation.
  • The Hero encounters a Stimulus, which leads them in the direction of resolution or transformation.
  • Tension or a Conflict is exposed. Our Hero now must maneuver challenges and obstacles.
  • A Crossroad where the final transformation takes place. In your Use Case this is where the customer purchased your solution.
  • The final chapter in the story is referred to as the Moral of the Story. The Hero has navigated the Conflict and appears transformed in an ideal state.

4. Practice, practice, practice

Like most things in life, you have to practice your pitch in order to perfect it. First develop it on your own and practice giving your pitch in front of a mirror. Then, practice with others, allowing them to interrupt or make comments (which is likely to happen in a real-life sales situation). Practice sounding natural and unrehearsed and don’t forget to let your body language be relaxed, open, and friendly.

Need help developing your story? Feel free to contact me for guidance.

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