Skip to content

UXL Blog

“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Thrive at Work

November 12, 2014 How to Befriend Your Boss (Or at least get noticed!)

Let’s face it, the key to achieving many of your career goals (that promotion, that next raise, etc.) is to pass through the office gatekeeper: your boss. Befriending your boss can be a tricky endeavor. You don’t want to seem like a brown-noser or disingenuous. What’s more, your boss might seem distant or guarded, reluctant to make new acquaintances with people from the lower ranks. If that’s the case, you might want to set your sights on making an impression on your boss, rather than a friendship. But, no matter the situation, there are certain steps you can take to become more visible in a positive way in your boss’ eyes.

The key is to approach your boss in a natural, authentic way and treat her like any other human being. The goal is to develop an authentic relationship with another person, not to feel intimidated or uneasy with a superior. Try getting to know your boss like any other person at the office:

  • Say hello
  • Ask about his or her family (and remember family member names when they come up in conversation)
  • Ask about their weekend plans or ask about what they did this past weekend
  • Attend company events and make small talk with your boss
  • Discuss shared interests (but do NOT pretend to like something your boss does just to fit in)

Notice that this list does not include things like “buy him small gifts” or “call her to have coffee.” Those kind of activities tend to cross the boss-employee line (unless, of course, you actually are close friends with your boss OR your boss is the kind of person who enjoys regularly going out for coffee with her employees).

The other way to gain positive attention from your boss is to make your achievements known. Stand out from the crowd by speaking up at meetings, volunteering for extra projects (and delivering excellent results), and involving yourself in extracurricular work events. Make yourself a positive presence—someone who is friendly and inclusive, rather than closed off and self-centered—and you will be noticed. Even if you do not quite reach friendship level with your boss, you can at least make yourself visible and visibility goes a long way toward reaching your career goals.

Are you having trouble with your boss? Not connecting with office leadership? Contact me and we can discuss some potential solutions.

Tags: , , , , , ,

November 5, 2014 Happiness and Goldie Hawn

What does Goldie Hawn know about happiness?

More than you might think. Not only has the award-winning actress penned a book about mental wellbeing and mindfulness (entitled 10 Mindful Minutes), she is also immersed in a project called MindUP™, which is an education program designed to help children learn through a holistic and positive approach. Additionally, she runs the Hawn Foundation, whose mission is, in a nutshell, to improve the health and happiness of people of all ages.

Hawn hasn’t always experienced personal happiness, however. In her 2005 memoir, A Lotus Grows in the Mud, she revealed that she often suffered from anxiety attacks, depression, and nausea during her early years of fame. She underwent nine years of therapy and eventually managed to pull herself out of a long, deep rut. Now, she’s determined to teach others how to live a joy-filled life.

One of the tricks, according to Hawn, is to start your morning by “focusing on what’s beautiful.” Make an effort to think positive, affirming thoughts from the moment you wake up and soon it will become a habit.

Hawn also encourages us to think of three things every day that make us happy. If we keep those three things at the top of our minds instead of dwelling on all the negativity around us, we have the potential to be “more creative, constructive, and productive.”

What are some of your techniques for staying positive and happy?

Tags: , , , , , ,

October 29, 2014 Fear and Imagination

Since Halloween is right around the corner, I thought I would talk a little bit about fear. Often, when we’re afraid of something, we imagine the worse possible scenarios. We think about cars flipping over or spiders biting us. We imagine getting fired from our jobs if we step out of line or fear that we’ll never get that promotion if we assert ourselves too much around the office.

According to Karen Thompson Walker, fear is a story we tell ourselves. We are the authors and we sometimes let our minds take us to wild places. In her TED talk, Walker suggests that fear can be a good thing if we are in control of our fear and examine it objectively. She calls this “productive paranoia.”

Rather than ignoring your fear, ask yourself why you are afraid. Are you afraid for good reason? Or are you telling yourself a wild, emotion-filled narrative that is probably not true?

Looking at this concept from a work perspective, ask yourself why you are afraid to talk to the new people in the office or why you are afraid to ask your boss for time off. Do you think you’ll be rejected by your new co-workers? Do you think your boss will fire you? These, of course, are possibilities, but how likely are they? Use your fear to approach your problems objectively and minimize risk (for instance, if you are afraid your boss will reprimand you for requesting time off, make a case for your request and lay it out logically for your boss).

Don’t let your fear direct you; you should direct it.

Happy Halloween!

Tags: , , , , , ,