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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Goals

July 21, 2021 An Unexpected Benefit of Giving Advice

We all know that giving advice can help others. You might offer valuable guidance that helps someone through a sticky problem, or you might provide a sought-after opinion. But, did you know that giving advice can actually benefit YOU as well?

Katy Milkman, a professor at the Wharton School of Management and the author of How To Change, has studied advice-giving and discovered that the advice-giver can reap as many benefits as the advice-receiver. The parameters are specific, though. You must give someone advice on the SAME goal or aspiration that YOU are trying to achieve.

Trying to write a book? Tell someone else how to go about doing it.

Trying to lose weight? Give someone advice on an exercise and diet regime.

Want to save more money each month? Advise someone else on how to tuck away those extra dollars.

By giving others advice on the very thing you want to accomplish, you’re building up your confidence, solidifying your ideas by bouncing them off others, and keeping this specific goal top of mind. Milkman also says that once we advise others on a specific objective, we want to “want the talk” and make the goal happen, since it would be hypocritical if we did not.

I have talked quite a bit about goal-setting on this blog, and I DO believe there is more to accomplishing goals than simply talking about them or giving advice, but still, this is an interesting piece of insight. By talking out your goals, you keep them top-of-mind and you (either subconsciously or consciously) are continuously problem-solving around them.

So, keep talking and keep giving advice! Here’s a video of Katy Milkman talking with Daniel Pink about advice giving:

Pinkcast 4.10. This is how to do better by giving, not getting, advice.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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June 30, 2021 6 Ideas for Creating New Habits

“If you’re trying to break a habit, don’t say ‘this is the last time I’m doing it’ to yourself. Instead, say ‘this is the first time I’m NOT doing it.”

-Unknown

Many of us have had to adjust to new ways of living, working, and existing during the recent pandemic. Now, people are slowly returning to work, and children are either back in school or poised to return this coming fall. With so many things in flux, we’ve had to adapt to and create new routines and habits.

Whether you’re adjusting to life changes OR trying to buck an old habit, I have a few different tips for doing so. Feel free to experiment and do what works best for YOU and your situation. And remember: developing a new habit takes time and patience. You’ve got this.

1. Enlist an Accountability Partner/Role Model

Telling one or more people about your goal is a powerful action for developing new habits. Not only can that person/people act as support, they can also apply a little bit of healthy peer pressure. If you cheat on a goal, what will your accountability partner/role model think??

You may also consider having regular check-ins with your accountability partner to keep you on track. Don’t forget to thank your partner in some way OR offer to return the favor if they are also seeking to develop a new habit.

2. Act Daily

It’s crucial to be consistent when developing a new habit. Make a commitment to act every day to help your new habit stick.

3. Keep a Calendar

Buy an old-fashioned paper calendar and make a mark on it (or apply a sticker!) every time you practice your new habit. A calendar is a great visual reminder of everything you’ve achieved and it can help keep your habit top-of-mind.

4. Be Kind to Yourself

You may not be a natural at keeping up your habit at first. Whether you’re attempting to quit smoking, going to the gym every morning, or committing to reading more books, the early stages of your habit might not come easily. Be gentle with yourself and understand that things WILL get easier as you go along.

5. Visualize

Visualization is a technique used by professional athletes and entrepreneurs alike. There are neurological reasons for visualizing your success. Your brain begins to recognize pathways to success and sees success as the norm. Take the time to envision yourself participating in your new habit and thriving.

6. Reward Yourself!

There’s nothing wrong with bribing yourself to achieve your goals! Set a few incremental milestones on your calendar (one successful week, month, six weeks) and reward yourself when you reach those milestones. You might treat yourself to a dessert, go out for a nice dinner, or take a mini vacation (an outing at a lake, perhaps, or an extended weekend trip). Do whatever you’d like, as long as the rewards match the achievements.

Creating a new habit can be difficult at first, but with time, commitment, patience, and faith in yourself, you can do just about anything. If you’re aspiring to a career-related habit and want to talk, I’m here. Best of luck with developing your new habit!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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June 9, 2021 The Danger of Always Raising the Bar

If you’re like many people I know, you have high expectations for yourself. You are likely more critical of your own mistakes and flaws than those of anyone else. You probably also find yourself wishing you could do more and be more on any given day. You’re constantly raising your personal bar and looking for your next mountain to climb.

Sound familiar?

If so, you just might be an over-achiever and a perfectionist. And that’s fine! There are a lot of us out there. We’re constantly trying to be everything for everyone. But that’s just not possible. And even if we’ve learned how to NOT spread ourselves too thin, there’s still the danger of constantly raising our personal expectations.

How can raising the bar be a bad thing?

On the surface, it’s perfectly fine to regularly raise our personal standards. Companies do it, so why not individuals? As you learn new skills and develop your talents, you’ll naturally start to improve, and when that happens, it’s logical to raise the bar. That’s all well and good—raising your personal bar keeps you constantly learning and improving—but this can turn into a problem if your bar-raising gets out of control.

For one, you might increase your personal expectations so much that they become nearly impossible to obtain. That, or you might find yourself toiling for extra hours or taking on more and more work to achieve your new standards. There’s a difference between a healthy challenge and a crushing workload. If you’re constantly feeling frazzled, anxious, or overwhelmed, your personal bar might have risen beyond your grasp.

The other part about bar-raising that can be damaging is failing to recognize your achievements. If you don’t take the time to occasionally pause and reflect on how much you’ve accomplished and how far you’ve come, you will always be feeling like you’re falling short. And I’m sure that’s not true! Think about everything you’ve learned and achieved over the years—all the projects you’ve completed, bridges you’ve built, and skills you’ve mastered. Think about where you are today compared to where you were five years ago. I’m sure you’ve grown and changed over that time, even if you can’t see the growth on the day-to-day.

Instead of constantly raising your personal bar, take the time to 1) reflect on and CELEBRATE your achievements and 2) set reasonable goals for the future. Take the future one step at a time, rejoice in your victories, and don’t let that bar get too far out of reach.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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