Skip to content

UXL Blog

“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Discussions

January 31, 2024 5 Terrible Communication Approaches (and what to do instead)

Photo by Headway on Unsplash

There are some people who are expert communicators. They are inspirational, motivational, and they have a knack for getting people to understand exactly what they want to convey. These individuals inevitably build trust and make people want to confide in them. We should all strive to become such excellent communicators.

Part of becoming a great communicator means knowing what to avoid–the pitfalls that make others close up or respond poorly to you. Let’s talk about five communication approaches that rarely work (and what to do instead).

Steamrolling Ideas

Good leadership means compromise, and sometimes that involves letting go of some or your ideas or letting others have a say. If you’re especially enamored with an idea or solution, it can be tempting to steamroll over others in order to get your way. However, this approach rarely leads to successful communication or collaboration.

Instead: Try to adopt a more open-minded and collaborative mindset. Listen to others’ perspectives and be willing to embrace alternative ideas. This not only shows respect for others’ opinions but also fosters a sense of teamwork and creativity.

Being Indirect

When communicating, being indirect can lead to confusion and misinterpretation. Indirectness can also be interpreted as a lack of self-confidence or uncertainty about the topic at hand. Instead of beating around the bush or using vague language, it’s important to be clear and direct in expressing your thoughts and intentions.

Instead: Be straightforward and concise in your communication. Clearly state your message or request, and provide any necessary context or details. This will help to eliminate any ambiguity and ensure that your message is understood correctly.

Interrupting and Dominating Conversations

Interrupting others or consistently dominating conversations can hinder effective communication. No one likes to feel small or unimportant. This communication style can make others feel unheard and disregarded, leading to a breakdown in communication and relationships.

Instead: Practice active listening and give others the space to express themselves. Allow others to finish speaking before responding, and show genuine interest in what they have to say. This promotes healthy dialogue and creates an environment where everyone feels valued and respected.

Using Jargon and Technical Language

Using excessive jargon and technical language can alienate others who may not be familiar with the terminology. This can lead to confusion and a lack of understanding, defeating the purpose of communication. It’s important to use language that is accessible and easily understood by the intended audience.

Instead: Use clear and simple language that everyone can understand.

Oversharing and Gossiping

Oversharing and gossiping can negatively impact communication and trust within a group. Sharing personal information that is unnecessary or irrelevant to the conversation can make others uncomfortable and can divert the focus from the main topic at hand. Gossiping about others can also create a toxic environment and erode trust among team members.

Instead: Focus on the topic or issue at hand and avoid sharing personal details that are not relevant. Be mindful of what you share and consider the impact it may have on others. Avoid gossiping or spreading rumors, as it can damage relationships and create a negative work or social environment.

To become an excellent communicator, it is important to understand what you need to avoid. Do you let any of these pitfalls slip into your everyday communication? If so, it is important to recognize these missteps and work on correcting them. Few people were born excellent communicators, but many can get there with a little time and intentional effort.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , ,

August 30, 2023 Compassionate Leadership: Balancing Empathy with Accountability

When it comes to leadership, don’t mistake kindness for weakness. It is still possible (and often more effective) to lead with your heart, as well as your head. Compassionate leadership is NOT about giving in to everyone’s whims, going easy on deadlines, or letting subpar work slide. It’s not about letting people slack off whenever they please. Rather, it’s about empathizing with your team, communicating openly, and building a mutual understanding and a plan that works for everyone.

You can practice compassionate leadership while setting firm standards and boundaries. We’re not talking about soft leadership; we’re talking about heart-led leadership. There’s a huge difference.

How do you achieve compassionate leadership while still maintaining a strong leadership presence? How can you balance heart-led decisions with practical, data- and strategy-driven decisions? It may seem like a tricky balancing act, but there are several steps you can take to start practicing compassionate, yet strong, leadership. Let’s talk about 4 ways to get started…

Get to Know Your Team

You may think you know your team members, but how well do you really know them? Do you know if someone is caring for a sick parent or raising young kids? Is someone struggling with chronic health issues? Or mental health afflictions? Is someone going through a divorce? Or facing biases or microaggressions in the workplace?

Once you know what a person is going through, you can be more empathetic with their situation and begin offering them the appropriate resources. Maybe they would benefit from a more flexible schedule, or talking with a mental health professional, or joining an Employee Resource Group (ERG). Whatever the case, you can help be a conduit for their success.

Establish Trust

It is difficult to get to know your team members on a deeper level if you do not take the time to establish trust. In my experience, one of the best ways to do this is by engaging in regular one-on-one conversations with each team member. Use this time to listen to their ideas, provide feedback, and offer support where needed. By doing this consistently, you can build rapport with your team and show them that you are invested in their success. Additionally, be transparent about your decisions and why you are making them. This will help your team understand your thought processes and trust that you have their best interests at heart.

Communicate Effectively

Communication is key in any type of leadership, but it’s especially important when practicing compassionate leadership. Make sure you are communicating frequently and clearly with your team. This includes not only giving feedback and direction, but also actively listening to your team members. When they feel heard and understood, they are more likely to feel valued and motivated to work towards common goals. Additionally, consider using different communication methods to reach team members with different preferences or needs. For example, some team members may prefer in-person meetings while others may prefer email or instant messaging.

Effective communication also entails setting clear expectations. Make sure your team knows exactly what is expected of them and what success looks like. Set regular check-ins to ensure everyone is on the same page and that progress is being made. If expectations are not being met, have an open conversation about why that is, then work together to identify ways to improve.

Lead by Example

Compassionate leadership starts at the top. As a leader, you have the responsibility to model the behaviors and values you want to see in your team. This means demonstrating empathy, kindness, and respect in all your interactions with team members and colleagues. It also means being accountable for your actions and decisions, and admitting when you make mistakes. When you lead by example, you set the tone for the entire team and create a culture of compassion and trust. Remember that your team is paying attention to your actions, so make sure you are modeling the behaviors you want to see in them.

Compassionate leadership is about balancing empathy and kindness with setting clear expectations and maintaining accountability. Too often, we show up for work, do whatever tasks need to be done, and sign off for the day without pausing to think about the people around us. Take the time to get to know them, practice some empathy, and focus on clear communications. Your leadership actions can create a culture of positivity and accountability that will benefit everyone on your team, including yourself.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , ,

March 15, 2023 A Better Way to Problem Solve

A version of this post was first published on January 29, 2020.

“If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.”

Albert Einstein

If you’re like me, you enjoy brainstorming sessions. I’m energized by the creative process—tossing ideas onto a white board and seeing which ones stick. This is typical “yellow energy” behavior (see my post on the four Insights Discovery color energies to learn more). People like me enjoy spontaneous problem-solving, talking through difficulties, and offering off-the-cuff solutions. We also tend to adopt whichever solution seems like the best option, without overthinking it or plunging too deeply into the analytics.

People on the other end of the spectrum (those who tend to lead with more blue energy) are not terribly fond of this method. They like a more analytical approach…and if a solution is offered, they will examine it closely to determine whether or not it might be a viable option.

Neither method is wrong, but both are lacking something in their approach. Some experts argue that focusing too much on solutions is the wrong way to go about problem-solving in the first place. They claim that you (or your team) will ultimately arrive at a better solution if you live in the problem for a while.

The thinking behind this claim goes like this: You can’t really come up with a good solution until you understand the problem inside and out. So, instead either of tossing ideas up on a whiteboard OR getting analytical with potential solutions, this method calls for all parties to take a step back and examine the problem in front of them.

Author and Stanford professor, Tina Selig, calls this approach “frame storming.” She believes that if you want to unlock innovative solutions, you have to “fall in love with the problem.” By spending more time considering the problem, you are more likely to take into account all the factors that are at play. Who is affected? How? Does this particular problem create other problems? Would one type of solution only partially solve the problem or, perhaps, solve it for a short period of time?

Considering the problem could also be a way to bring people like me (yellow energy!) together with more analytical types. This approach forces everyone to slow down and consider the dilemma in front of them, before moving to take action.

So, next time you and your team are faced with a sticky problem that requires an answer, try “frame storming.” Agree to spend more time immersed in the issue at hand before even considering moving to a solution.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

Tags: , , , , ,