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Creating Successful Leaders

Category Archives: Communication

By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

“Be an opener of doors…”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you ever met a speaker, Psychologist, and Leadership Coach by the name of Louise Griffith? I had the pleasure of hearing her speak as a keynote at the womEn’s conference this month. Some of her messages about communication really stuck with me because of their clear, simple, and truthful nature. Because I’m still thinking about these messages nearly a month later I’ve decided to pass them on to my readers.

When interacting with others, whether on a very personal or professional level, there are certain ways that we can make them feel respected and accepted. You may not always realize it, but the way you respond to others when they express themselves can very easily make them feel unimportant or shut them down—and you may not even know what it was that you did wrong.

One of Louise’s larger ideas concerned something she called “Intrinsic Validation”. Behind this term is the belief that “the most powerful validation you can give another is to care enough to step into their world and listen without giving advice, feedback, or criticism.”

I don’t know about you, but I find that it is often far too easy to fall out of practicing this skill. Luckily, Louise shared some easy to use and remember tools (in the form of phrases and questions) that help you to continue the practice of intrinsic validation.

Louise outlines four components to improving interactions with and validation of others:

Look for the Good:
Stop yourself when you begin to judge and focus on the good in others instead.

See it, then Say It:
When you see another person’s positive effort or good, make sure to share your appreciation or admiration with them.

Listen for the Doors:
The “doors” are the verbal cues as to what someone is thinking. This is where you create a bridge instead of a wall)

Step into Their World:
We’ve all heard the phrase “step into their shoes” because it works.

Most important were the phrases that we can use as tools to immediately improve interactions:

           Tell me more about that.

           Help me understand what you are experiencing.

           Are you OK?

           What I like about your idea is ________ .

I challenge you to pick one of the phrases above and use it in the coming days. I’m confident that you’ll be astonished at how quickly your interactions with others will deepen and improve.

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By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER
According to an article in INC Magazine this month, employee to employee squabbling and sniping can not only erode a team, but even end up costing you customers and make enemies of patrons.

The article’s author, J.J. McCorvey, explains that a recent study found that “when customers witness employees being disrespectful to one another—yelling, using profane language or openly criticizing another’s performance—customers not only get mad, but they often try to punish the company in some way.” The negative repercussions of rude interactions among employees often results in complaints, boycotting, and brand erosion inside and outside the company.

Often, the study illuminated, customers felt less likely to make a future purchase with the company.

Employee is…

Rude to me

Rude to another customer

Rude to another employee

Level of anger

5.67

4.99

4.87

Likelihood of another purchase

2.7

3.25

3.25

Level of interest in the company

3.3

3.29

2.6

The study was based on a series of customer surveys that revealed that “it’s not all about the customer’s own experience”, but also about “what they [the customers] perceived as unfair behavior toward an employee.” During the study, respondents were asked to recall a time when they had “witnessed an employee being uncivil to another worker.”

A shocking 92% of the respondents said they had “subsequently made negative comments to other people about the company”, while nearly half of the respondents said that they felt “less willing to repurchase the company’s products or services.”

McCorvey rightly reminds us that no matter how we try to keep hostility and rudeness behind closed doors in the workplace, it “often has a way of trickling down to customers, whether or not they witness it directly.”

Although leaders, teammates, and owners cannot monitor all of the actions of others, we are all still capable of changing the way we personally interact with the coworkers around us. This will not only elevate our brand and enable our efforts, it will also help motivate others to improve their own attitudes and interactions.

Not only does being nice result in happier customers and coworkers, but it also results in personal benefits for YOU:

1.  Get the Projects You Want Most: Being easy to work with, and getting along with a variety of personalities, encourages others to view you as more flexible and eligible for new and different opportunities.

2.  Build and Extend Your Brand: Building a brand that includes politeness and niceness means that people will feel comfortable being honest and open with you. It also sets you up for positions involving integration and interaction with new groups, individuals, and organizations.

3.  Jobs, Projects, and People Come to You: The referrals will come flooding in from coworkers and clients if you continue to make positive energy deposits in others. This goes for your time spent on the job, as well as during the job search.

4.  You’ll Meet More People: If you’re friendly and agreeable, more people want you around, whether during a project or networking opportunity such as a dinner, party, etc.

5.  Life is Easier: Things get expedited more often, people pull strings, and others are happy to do favors. Being nice builds social capital that makes life less of a hassle and allows your dreams to be realized.

Interested in learning more about how your behavior, and your attitude, can transform your relationships, your career, and your life? Contact UXL to discover how positive change and greater self-awareness can help you to realize your own potential!

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By Margaret Smith, UXL:
SPEAKER | CAREER COACH | CERTIFIED INSIGHTS DISCOVERY PRACTITIONER

There isn’t a single specific trait that makes you a great leader. Instead, there are many different traits that make a person a good source of guidance, encouragement, and direction—and every leader embodies their own unique combination of strengths.

“Every leader has a particular style of leadership that is innate. However, the behaviors, attitudes, or methods of delivery that are effective for one staff member may in fact be counterproductive for another,” says MSR Communications Account Supervisor Michael Burke.

What Burke is getting at here is embodied in an important question: Are you aware of your own leadership style, and do you make an effort to learn how this style actually comes across to your team?

Before you start to consider the traits of a great leader, make an effort to examine your own special brand of leadership. Below I’ve listed some of the top leadership traits named by leadership professionals—look for traits that currently represent your style, and use these traits as a reminder of what you’re all about at work and in life!

  • Honesty
  • Focus
  • Passion
  • Respect
  • Persuasiveness
  • Confidence
  • Clarity
  • Care
  • Integrity
  • Humility
  • Collaborative
  • Empowering
  • Fearlessness
  • Compassion
  • Shared Visionary
  • Engaging
  • Self-Aware
  • Genuine
  • Flexible
  • Supportive

Need help discovering your leadership brand? Contact me today to learn about how Insights Discovery and Career Coaching can transform your career and your life.

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