Category Archives: Communication
September 25, 2024 5 Tips to Be Present
We live in a distracted society. A survey in 2023 found that, “Americans spend an average of four hours looking at their cellphones every day, checking them at least 144 times a day.” That statistic is frankly appalling. Even if it is wildly inaccurate and we decide to divide the findings in half, that still means we spend two hours absorbed in our phones every day, and glance at our screen 72 times. And this doesn’t include all our other distractions—TV, email, video games, and more.
This week, I’d like to talk about being present, why it matters, and how to be more mindful in your everyday life.
(I discussed this topic in a video I produced a while ago. If you’re interested, click here.)
Why Being Present Matters
Your presence matters in both your personal and professional life. Your presence means something to others, whether your family, co-workers, or boss. When you are present, you are able to fully engage with the people and tasks in front of you. This leads to deeper connections, increased productivity, and a greater sense of fulfillment. Conversely, when you are distracted, you miss important details, struggle to be an active listener, and fail to capitalize on your time.
Being present allows you to live in the moment and make the most of each interaction. It is also a sign of respect. When you’re present, you convey that you value the person or task at hand. You are not preoccupied with the past or future, but fully engaged in the moment. This builds trust, strengthens relationships, and helps you be more productive and fulfilled. Ultimately, being present is a skill that takes practice, but the benefits are immense. It allows you to savor life’s moments, connect more deeply with others, and make the most of your time and energy.
5 Ways to Be Present
If you’re hoping to improve your focus and be more present in daily life, I suggest trying some of the following five tips:
Eliminate distractions
When possible, turn off your notifications, silence your phone, and attempt to create a distraction-free environment. This will support your goal of being present.
Practice mindfulness
Take a few minutes each day to focus on your breathing and be fully present in the moment. It’s a good idea to build this into your schedule, so you get into the habit of doing it.
Single-task
Multitasking is usually ineffective and often leads to sloppy or incomplete work. It is much better to lend your full attention to a single task. To do this, try setting a timer and focusing on one specific task for fifteen or twenty minutes. Repeat.
Schedule tech-free time
Set boundaries around when you will and won’t use your devices. For example, you could decide not to use your phone during mealtimes or after a certain time in the evening. Stick to these tech-free periods to be more present with your loved ones or to wind down before bed.
Reflect and recharge
Take regular breaks throughout the day to pause, reflect, and recharge. This could involve a short walk, meditation, or simply sitting quietly for a few minutes. Giving your mind a break will help you return to tasks feeling more focused and present.
Being present and minimizing distractions is crucial for personal and professional success. By making a few intentional changes in your life, you can train your brain to stay focused on the present moment. This will lead to deeper connections, increased productivity, and a greater sense of fulfillment. Remember, being present is a skill that takes practice, but the benefits are well worth the effort. Start implementing these strategies today to make the most of your time and energy.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: 5 tips to be present, be present, gift of being present, Margaret Smith licensed Insights practitioner, Margaret Smith life coach, tips for being present
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Communication
September 11, 2024 How to Make Feedback Feel Empowering
As a leader, a work colleague, or a member of any kind of team or committee, feedback is essential. It is not helpful to let bad behavior, misguided ideas, or poor performance slip through the cracks. Providing constructive feedback is a key part of helping people improve and grow. However, it’s important to deliver that feedback in a way that feels empowering rather than demoralizing.
How can you achieve this balancing act? How can you motivate others, rather than make them feel frustrated or annoyed? I suggest the following:
Be Specific
Focusing on specific areas of improvement and providing ideas for achieving those improvements is crucial for making feedback feel empowering. Vague or generalized feedback can leave the recipient feeling confused or uncertain about what they need to do. Be clear and direct about the behaviors or outcomes you want to see changed or improved.
Mix the Good and Bad
It is just as helpful to let people know what they are doing well as it is to identify areas for improvement. Providing a balanced perspective shows that you recognize their strengths and are not just focusing on the negatives. This can make the feedback feel more constructive and less like a personal attack.
Some people use the “feedback sandwich” approach, where you first provide positive feedback, then the constructive criticism, and then end with more positive feedback. This can help the recipient feel validated and motivated to improve, but make sure you’re not sounding too scripted when offering this type of feedback.
Offer Suggestions
In addition to identifying specific areas for improvement, offer concrete suggestions for how the person can make those changes. Provide resources, examples, or step-by-step guidance to help them understand what they need to do differently. These actionable steps (as opposed to vague ideas) can help provide a clear plan of action.
Convey Your Confidence in the Other Person
Author and researcher, Daniel Pink, says that when we give feedback it is important to convey our confidence in the other person’s abilities. When we demonstrate our unwavering belief in another, this serves to bolster and support that person, rather than make them feel badly about themselves. He suggests saying, “I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.” This simple sentence conveys your faith in the person’s potential and your desire to help them improve.
Define Goals and Expectations
Clearly defined goals are crucial if you want your feedback to make an impact. Outline specific, measurable objectives that the recipient can work towards. This gives them a clear path forward and a sense of purpose. Additionally, be transparent about your expectations so there is no confusion about the desired outcomes. When people understand exactly what is expected of them, they are more likely to feel motivated to make the necessary improvements.
Ultimately, the goal of feedback is to help people grow and develop, not to criticize or put them down. By framing feedback in a positive, constructive manner, you can make others feel empowered rather than sullen or demoralized. This approach demonstrates your investment in the person’s success and your belief in their potential to improve. With the right mindset and delivery, feedback can become an invaluable tool for development.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: better feedback, constructive feedback, empowering feedback, make feedback empowering, Margaret Smith business coach, margaret smith leadership
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- Posted under Communication, Leadership, Thrive at Work
August 28, 2024 Why to Take a Social Media Detox
It’s okay to disconnect. You do not always have to be plugged into the news, celebrity gossip, or the latest social media trends. In fact, these things might be having an adverse effect on your mental and emotional health. At times, it might be best to simply step away and take a social media detox.
It is no secret that social media can toy with our emotions. We often see either the best or the worst of humanity, which can either leave us depressed or make us question our self-worth. On the one hand, we can be exposed to bad news, cruelty, and nasty comments…and moments later we might see a post featuring a “perfect” family making French toast together in their “perfect” kitchen. This yo-yo effect can give us emotional whiplash and leave us feeling uneasy, guilty, or depressed. And recent studies back this up.
According to researchers Lawrence Robinson and Melinda Smith of Help Guide, “Multiple studies have found a strong link between heavy social media [use] and an increased risk for depression, anxiety, loneliness, self-harm, and even suicidal thoughts.”
Social media can also affect a person’s self-image. When we constantly compare ourselves with others, we can’t help but feel inadequate. And the truth is, we’re comparing ourselves to an impossible standard. Most people will only publish the most polished, edited, and filtered versions of themselves on social media, while neglecting to include the messier parts of their lives. This can lead to feelings of low self-esteem, body image issues, and even depression.
Additionally, the constant need to check social media and receive validation through likes and comments can become addictive, further contributing to mental health problems.
To be clear, I am not suggesting that we all become completely disconnected and uninformed about current events. However, taking a break from social media can provide a much-needed respite. It allows you to focus on the present moment, engage in real-world interactions, and cultivate a healthier relationship with technology. By stepping away, you can regain a sense of control, reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, and reconnect with your authentic self. A social media detox can be a powerful tool to improve your mental well-being and foster a more balanced and fulfilling life.
To actually achieve a little distance from social media, I suggest the following tactics:
- Turn off notifications for social media apps on your devices
- Set aside specific times of the day to check social media, rather than constantly scrolling
- Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate or negatively impact your mood
- Replace social media time with other activities that bring you joy, like reading, exercising, or spending time with loved ones
- Consider a complete social media detox for a set period, such as a week or a month, to reset your relationship with these platforms
A social media detox can be a powerful way to regain control over your digital life and improve your overall well-being. By setting boundaries, curating your feed, and replacing social media time with more fulfilling activities, you can reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Remember, it’s okay to disconnect and prioritize your mental health. Embrace the present moment, engage in real-world interactions, and cultivate a healthier relationship with technology. A social media detox can be a transformative experience, empowering you to live a more balanced and fulfilling life.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, social media break, step away from social media, unplugging from social media, why take social media detox
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Communication
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