Skip to content

UXL Blog

“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Communication

March 19, 2025 5 Strategies for Being Heard

Photo by Oleg Laptev on Unsplash

Do you sometimes feel like your voice isn’t being heard? Do others tend to dominate the conversation, putting forth their ideas and perspectives without giving you a turn to speak? Whether you’re dealing with interactions in your personal life or the workplace, it is incredibly frustrating to be silenced.

This silencing can happen for a variety of reasons. Maybe you’re naturally quiet or laid back. Perhaps the people dominating the conversation are especially loud or domineering (or, in some cases, even narcissistic). Or maybe the workplace culture or social norms dictate who normally speaks and is listened to. Whatever the case, it is possible to break through the barrier and be heard.

Keep in mind, your thoughts, opinions, points of view, and ideas are valuable. You bring fresh perspectives to the table, and your views are worthwhile. Not to mention, assertive people are the ones who normally get raises and promotions; they’re noticed, and people listen to them. You can be that person. Here are five suggestions to get started:

Enter with Confidence

You set the tone for a conversation as soon as you enter a room or log into a Zoom meeting. Your body language can exude confidence and savviness…or it can show timidness and insecurity. To develop the confidence you need, I suggest preparing as best you can for the meeting or conversation. Do your due diligence and learn whatever background information you need to be a confident contributor. You could even practice reciting a few sentences in the mirror (practicing out loud really does help).

Then, focus on your body language. Keep your shoulders up, head high, and a pleasantly confident expression on your face. Pay attention to what is being said, and understand when your input might be valuable.

Stop Interrupters

If someone interrupts you in the middle of a sentence, put a stop to it, if possible. Sometimes interruptions happen in the natural flow of conversation, but other times they are chronic and consistent and need to be stopped. To stop an interrupter, try holding up your hand and saying something to direct attention back to you. Some examples are:

“Wait. I know you want to jump in, but I wasn’t quite finished.”

“Great point. I’ll address that when I’m done speaking.”

“Hold on, please. I’m almost done making my point.”

Anticipate the Interruption

If interruptions are the norm in certain groups or settings, you can set yourself up for success by preemptively addressing that problem. When you start speaking, try opening with a sentence like, “I would like two uninterrupted minutes to make an additional point.” Or: “I know many of you are eager to share, but I would love to say one thing before anyone else gives their input.” Then, proceed.

By opening with such a statement you’re setting up a clear expectation. You will say your piece, and then others will have a turn.

Find an Advocate/Partner

If your efforts to be heard are not bearing fruit, it may be a good idea to confide in someone else who is regularly in the same meetings or conversations. Confide in this person privately and let them know your frustrations. It’s possible they have no clue that you’re feeling silenced or left out. Once they’re aware of the issue, ask if they would be willing to subtly include you in meetings. This could mean saying something like, “We haven’t heard from Catherine yet. I’m curious if she has any ideas.” Or: “Catherine, you seem to want to say something. What’s on your mind?” Or: “Hold up, Roger. I think Catherine was in the middle of saying something. Let’s hear her out before you take your turn.”

Talk to Your Interrupter

In some cases, depending on your relationship with the person or people who chronically interrupt you, it may be best to be direct. If you feel comfortable enough with someone to have an honest conversation, do so and let them know how you feel. You might say something like the following:

“I always appreciate your enthusiasm in meetings, but lately it feels like there’s no room for my voice. Do you suppose I could have the floor for a few minutes next time?”

“I didn’t get much of a chance to offer my perspective at yesterday’s meeting. At our next one, I would love just two or three minutes of uninterrupted floor time.”

“I had several thoughts during our last meeting, but I didn’t have a chance to express them. Could I kick off our next meeting with a few uninterrupted minutes of speaking time?

I suggest having this conversation in person, rather than over email or a messaging app, so you can talk civilly and not blow things out of proportion.

Don’t let those who are the loudest and most confident (or aggressive) always get air time. You, and your quieter colleagues and friends, have valuable things to say and contribute, and your voices deserve to be heard. With a few intentional strategies and actions, you should be able to amplify your voice and confidently deliver your message.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , ,

February 5, 2025 6 Compassionate Leadership Actions

I am a big proponent of heart-led leadership. So many leadership courses, books, and webinars teach us that leaders have to be firm, competent, excellent communicators, and assertive. While those traits can be helpful in leadership, I would put a different trait above them: compassion.

When people think about compassion and kindness in leadership, they may think that means the leader is soft or a “pushover.” In my experience, however, kindness does not automatically mean weakness. It is very possible to be both kind and assertive. It is possible to genuinely care about your people and create firm boundaries and expectations.

Instead of a weakness, I see kindness as a superpower. When you take the time to truly get to know your people, listen to them, and offer genuine compassion and respect, you foster a positive work environment where people want to show up and do good work. When people feel that they are part of a caring team, they will want to put their best foot forward, meet deadlines, and perform at their peak. They’re motivated to do better, because they know the company’s leadership has a vested interest in them and their success.

To establish yourself as a kind, caring leader, you can begin by taking a few action steps that convey your heart-led leadership style. Here are 6 suggestions:

Schedule One-on-Ones

Even busy leaders can find fifteen or twenty minutes to meet one-on-one with a team member. Taking the time to check in with someone individually will not only convey that you care, but will also provide some valuable time for you to get to know the person across the table on a personal level. This can be difficult to achieve in group settings, especially if the person is not terribly open or outspoken.

Get to Know Your People

When engaging in one-on-ones, it’s a good idea to ask a few “get to know you” questions. Start learning about your team members’ backgrounds, families, pets, and interests, and be sure to touch on these things in subsequent meetings (“How is your mom? Is she feeling any better since her accident?”). If you need help remembering details about others, try creating a spreadsheet dedicated to tracking information about each team member—the name of their kids, the type of dog they have, etc. Few people have a perfect memory, and there’s no shame in using a tool to help yourself out.

Open Up

When you’re getting to know others, it is important to reciprocate. Any relationship, including work relationships, are healthiest when they are a two-way street. Offer information about yourself when it seems relevant and appropriate. For example, if your team member is talking about an upcoming vacation, you might tell them a little about your experience visiting that area, or you could talk about your own upcoming trip.

Ask Good Questions (and Listen!)

Asking good questions is an art. When sitting down with someone, it’s important to not just talk at them or ask yes/no questions. Instead, ask open-ended questions that prompt a dialogue. These types of questions can help you get to know the other person and will help you gauge the temperature of the workplace (Are tempers hot? Has enthusiasm for a project or client cooled?).

But asking questions isn’t enough. It is also critical to listen to the answers and attempt to understand the other person’s perspective. If you’re unsure about what someone is saying, or you need more details, be sure to ask follow-up questions. Alternatively, you could repeat back what you think you heard by saying, “It sounds like you’re saying XYZ, is that correct?”

Show Genuine Appreciation

Pay attention to your people and show them appreciation whenever they go above and beyond. Call out outstanding performance, recognize achievements, or write out a thank you card. These small acts can make an enormous difference.

Take Action to Improve the Workplace

When sitting down with your people, you might discover that they are unhappy with certain aspects of the workplace. If that’s the case, it is imperative to take steps to create change. You don’t want to be the type of person who is all talk and no action. Rather, if you are genuinely committed to being a positive presence, that means taking meaningful action to improve the workplace and the lives of the people who work for you.

Kindness and compassion are not incompatible with strong leadership. Rather, it can help improve morality, foster a better work environment, and create an energized atmosphere in the office. How might the modern workplace transform if all leaders chose to be kind?

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , , ,

October 16, 2024 Acknowledging Your Strengths (and knowing when to delegate)

As a licensed practitioner of Insights® Discovery, I know how vitally important it is to understand and tap into your personal strengths. Though you might have a sense of your skills and interests, naming them can be powerful. This helps to crystallize your self-awareness and give you a clearer picture of how you can best contribute.

Once you’ve identified your strengths, you can determine which tasks and responsibilities you’re uniquely suited for, and which ones might be better delegated to others. This allows you to focus your energy on your areas of excellence, while empowering your team members to shine in their own ways. Striking this balance is one of the keys to effective leadership and personal fulfillment.

However, many of us are hesitant to delegate for a variety of reasons. We might think we can do a task better or quicker than someone else, or we could be hesitant to give up that control, or we might simply not trust our team members to handle it properly. But when we hold on too tightly, we end up overworked and overwhelmed. Delegating frees up your time and energy to focus on your most important priorities. It also empowers your team, allowing them to develop new skills and take on greater responsibilities.

To get past hesitations or mental barriers related to delegation, I suggest the following:

Identify Tasks to Delegate

It is helpful to be crystal clear on which tasks you enjoy and have time to do versus the tasks that are better delegated to others. Make a list of the responsibilities you can hand off, considering your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your team’s capabilities. This will help you determine what to delegate and to whom.

Reach Out Intentionally

Not everyone is suited for every task. If you’re considering delegating something, make sure to reach out to the proper person. Ask yourself if that person has the skills, interest, and bandwidth to take on the task. If not, you may need to find someone else OR allow that person additional time to complete the job at hand.

Communicate Expectations Clearly

When delegating tasks, be sure to provide clear instructions and set expectations upfront. Explain the desired outcome, timeline, and any specific requirements. This ensures your team members understand exactly what is expected of them.

Provide Support

An effective leader makes sure to provide support and guidance as needed. Check in regularly, offer feedback, and be available to answer questions. This helps team members feel empowered and confident in their ability to complete the delegated tasks successfully. Though you may need to be available for questions and support quite a bit at first, your team member should gain more confidence and adeptness with repeat tasks over time.

Review Progress and Provide Feedback

Schedule regular check-ins to review the delegated work. Offer constructive feedback and be available to answer questions or provide guidance. This shows your team members that you trust them, while also maintaining quality control. Over time, you can reduce the level of oversight as they gain confidence and competence.

Express Appreciation

Do not underestimate the power of a thank you. If your team members have done a great job with the delegated tasks, be sure to express your sincere appreciation. This positive reinforcement will encourage them to continue taking on more responsibilities and growing in their roles. For especially impressive work, consider providing a hand-written thank you card or gift card to express your gratitude.

Effective delegation is a skill that takes practice, but the benefits are immense. By empowering your team, you free up your own time and energy to focus on your strengths and highest priorities. This, in turn, can lead to greater productivity, job satisfaction, and overall success for both you and your organization.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , , ,