Category Archives: Communication
September 11, 2024 How to Make Feedback Feel Empowering
As a leader, a work colleague, or a member of any kind of team or committee, feedback is essential. It is not helpful to let bad behavior, misguided ideas, or poor performance slip through the cracks. Providing constructive feedback is a key part of helping people improve and grow. However, it’s important to deliver that feedback in a way that feels empowering rather than demoralizing.
How can you achieve this balancing act? How can you motivate others, rather than make them feel frustrated or annoyed? I suggest the following:
Be Specific
Focusing on specific areas of improvement and providing ideas for achieving those improvements is crucial for making feedback feel empowering. Vague or generalized feedback can leave the recipient feeling confused or uncertain about what they need to do. Be clear and direct about the behaviors or outcomes you want to see changed or improved.
Mix the Good and Bad
It is just as helpful to let people know what they are doing well as it is to identify areas for improvement. Providing a balanced perspective shows that you recognize their strengths and are not just focusing on the negatives. This can make the feedback feel more constructive and less like a personal attack.
Some people use the “feedback sandwich” approach, where you first provide positive feedback, then the constructive criticism, and then end with more positive feedback. This can help the recipient feel validated and motivated to improve, but make sure you’re not sounding too scripted when offering this type of feedback.
Offer Suggestions
In addition to identifying specific areas for improvement, offer concrete suggestions for how the person can make those changes. Provide resources, examples, or step-by-step guidance to help them understand what they need to do differently. These actionable steps (as opposed to vague ideas) can help provide a clear plan of action.
Convey Your Confidence in the Other Person
Author and researcher, Daniel Pink, says that when we give feedback it is important to convey our confidence in the other person’s abilities. When we demonstrate our unwavering belief in another, this serves to bolster and support that person, rather than make them feel badly about themselves. He suggests saying, “I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.” This simple sentence conveys your faith in the person’s potential and your desire to help them improve.
Define Goals and Expectations
Clearly defined goals are crucial if you want your feedback to make an impact. Outline specific, measurable objectives that the recipient can work towards. This gives them a clear path forward and a sense of purpose. Additionally, be transparent about your expectations so there is no confusion about the desired outcomes. When people understand exactly what is expected of them, they are more likely to feel motivated to make the necessary improvements.
Ultimately, the goal of feedback is to help people grow and develop, not to criticize or put them down. By framing feedback in a positive, constructive manner, you can make others feel empowered rather than sullen or demoralized. This approach demonstrates your investment in the person’s success and your belief in their potential to improve. With the right mindset and delivery, feedback can become an invaluable tool for development.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: better feedback, constructive feedback, empowering feedback, make feedback empowering, Margaret Smith business coach, margaret smith leadership
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- Posted under Communication, Leadership, Thrive at Work
August 28, 2024 Why to Take a Social Media Detox
It’s okay to disconnect. You do not always have to be plugged into the news, celebrity gossip, or the latest social media trends. In fact, these things might be having an adverse effect on your mental and emotional health. At times, it might be best to simply step away and take a social media detox.
It is no secret that social media can toy with our emotions. We often see either the best or the worst of humanity, which can either leave us depressed or make us question our self-worth. On the one hand, we can be exposed to bad news, cruelty, and nasty comments…and moments later we might see a post featuring a “perfect” family making French toast together in their “perfect” kitchen. This yo-yo effect can give us emotional whiplash and leave us feeling uneasy, guilty, or depressed. And recent studies back this up.
According to researchers Lawrence Robinson and Melinda Smith of Help Guide, “Multiple studies have found a strong link between heavy social media [use] and an increased risk for depression, anxiety, loneliness, self-harm, and even suicidal thoughts.”
Social media can also affect a person’s self-image. When we constantly compare ourselves with others, we can’t help but feel inadequate. And the truth is, we’re comparing ourselves to an impossible standard. Most people will only publish the most polished, edited, and filtered versions of themselves on social media, while neglecting to include the messier parts of their lives. This can lead to feelings of low self-esteem, body image issues, and even depression.
Additionally, the constant need to check social media and receive validation through likes and comments can become addictive, further contributing to mental health problems.
To be clear, I am not suggesting that we all become completely disconnected and uninformed about current events. However, taking a break from social media can provide a much-needed respite. It allows you to focus on the present moment, engage in real-world interactions, and cultivate a healthier relationship with technology. By stepping away, you can regain a sense of control, reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, and reconnect with your authentic self. A social media detox can be a powerful tool to improve your mental well-being and foster a more balanced and fulfilling life.
To actually achieve a little distance from social media, I suggest the following tactics:
- Turn off notifications for social media apps on your devices
- Set aside specific times of the day to check social media, rather than constantly scrolling
- Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate or negatively impact your mood
- Replace social media time with other activities that bring you joy, like reading, exercising, or spending time with loved ones
- Consider a complete social media detox for a set period, such as a week or a month, to reset your relationship with these platforms
A social media detox can be a powerful way to regain control over your digital life and improve your overall well-being. By setting boundaries, curating your feed, and replacing social media time with more fulfilling activities, you can reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Remember, it’s okay to disconnect and prioritize your mental health. Embrace the present moment, engage in real-world interactions, and cultivate a healthier relationship with technology. A social media detox can be a transformative experience, empowering you to live a more balanced and fulfilling life.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, social media break, step away from social media, unplugging from social media, why take social media detox
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Communication
July 24, 2024 Choosing to Be Kind
Many things in life are out of our control. We cannot choose the weather, or magically erase traffic jams, or guarantee that our co-worker (or spouse, cashier, or client) is in a good mood today. Sometimes your tire will go flat. Sometimes a project will flop or an initiative will not be well-received. Although we certainly cannot pull all of life’s strings, we are not entirely helpless. Some things still fall within our sphere of influence.
One of the most important things we can control is how we respond to situations. If, for example, a co-worker has failed to meet a project deadline, we can lash out, send an angry email, or talk about that person behind their back. Or, we could take a more tactful approach—one revolving around kindness and empathy. Instead of getting angry, we can sit down with that person, talk about what happened, and attempt to gain a better understanding of why the deadline was not met. Maybe the co-worker had a family emergency, or a personal health scare. Or maybe they simply saw the deadline as a suggestion, rather than a firm end date.
When you talk to this person, you can also tell them how you feel, and how missing the deadline affected you, other co-workers, and the company as a whole. In short, by choosing to be kind, you start a dialogue. You begin to build a bridge between yourself and the other person, rather than erecting a wall between the two of you.
Kindness, patience, and understanding are powerful tools, both in the workplace and in daily life. When you adopt an attitude of kindness, you’re more likely to have productive conversations and interactions. On the other hand, when you’re frustrated or short with someone, they will probably reciprocate that frustration, which can lead to a tense, unpleasant, and unproductive interaction.
Kindness is great for problem-solving, too. In an atmosphere where kindness rules, people feel safe to share their ideas, even if they’re outside the norm. Brainstorming sessions become less stressful and more effective. This goes for other types of problem-solving too. If your car breaks down on the side of the road, you can be as angry as you’d like (and sometimes letting off steam does feel good), but that doesn’t solve anything. It’s better to take a breath, take a step back, and assess the situation. Be kind to yourself as you figure out what to do.
We have the opportunity to respond with kindness every single day. This coming week, I challenge you to turn up your kindness dial and see how the world changes around you. How will cashiers or baristas respond when you’re patient and cheerful? How will your family react to your efforts to be more present and caring? What if you chose to be as kind and empathetic as possible in the workplace?
In my experience, kindness opens doors and builds bridges. How might it change your world?
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: choosing kindness, choosing to be kind, kindness and your sphere of influence, kindness at work, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith LP of Insights
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