Category Archives: Communication
March 22, 2017 Perennials: Beyond the Generational Divide
I hear it all the time. People complaining about other generations.
“Millennials are . I don’t understand them at all.”
Or: “Why are Baby Boomers so ?”
Or: “Everyone in Gen X is clearly .”
It’s time we stop limiting each other. These on-the-surface labels are doing much more harm than good. They allow us to write off entire generations (many millions of people!) with sweeping generalizations. And the truth is, many people don’t fit the stereotypes.
Take “entitlement,” for example. Many people think of Millennials (the group born between 1980 and 2000) as an entitled bunch that thinks they deserve things without actually working for them. Not only is this stereotype getting tiresome, it is frankly untrue.
Although many of them started working at an economically tumultuous time (the Great Recession), Millennials have proven themselves to be innovative and resilient. They’ve invented jobs when none were available; they’ve taken over top leadership positions; they’ve learned how to live with less by taking advantage of the new “sharing economy.”
Are some Millennials entitled and lazy? Of course. But so are many Gen-Xers and Boomers.
And just because Millennials have new ways of working, doesn’t mean they’re lazy. They might simply have a better grasp on technology and be able to complete tasks more efficiently.
On the same token, not all Baby Boomers are out-of-touch and irrelevant! Many are excited and interested in new technologies, new ways of thinking, and creative endeavors.
Although generational constructs are helpful for marketing purposes, they can be utterly lethal in the workplace. Pigeonholing people before they’ve had a chance to show their true colors only harms productivity and interpersonal dynamics. Besides, you might be working alongside Perennials, a group that defies generational boundaries.
What are Perennials?
Gina Pell, who coined the term, says that Perennials are “ever-blooming, relevant people of all ages who live in the present time, know what’s happening in the world, stay current with technology, and have friends of all ages…[they] comprise an inclusive, enduring mindset, not a divisive demographic.”
I’m sure you’ve encountered many so-called Perennials in your life. These are the young people with “old souls.” These are the older people who love to crack jokes and try new things. These are the people who don’t limit their interactions to their own peer group and instead find friendship with people of all ages. These are the people who refuse to be defined by age.
As Pell says: “It’s time we chose our own category based on shared values and passions and break out of the faux constructs behind an age-based system of classification.”
I couldn’t agree more.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: career coach Minneapolis, definition of Perennials, margaret smith career coach, Perennials and Gina Pell, Perennials and Millennials, Perennials people of all ages, Perennials: Beyond the Generational Divide, the misunderstood generation
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- Posted under Communication, Organization, Teamwork, Tips for Improving Interactions
March 1, 2017 The RIGHT Way to Get Angry
Picture this: You’re late to work because traffic was moving at a snail’s pace, which caused other drivers to get irritable and cut you off on the road. When you finally get to work, you find a Post-it note on a stack of papers on your desk that says “Need this by the end of the day.” You grumble about the huge pile of work and decide to make a cup of coffee. When you take your first sip, the coffee burns the roof of your mouth and you end up spitting it out…all over your white shirt.
Have you ever had a day like that? I know I have! How do you react? How can you turn such a disastrous day around?
A big part of the solution rests with you. How you handle the anger that’s undoubtedly bubbling within you can either make or break your day. But that’s easier than it sounds!
When many of us feel angry, we tend to react in one of two equally unhealthy ways:
- Bottle up the anger and hope things will get better.
- Let our anger flow forth and land on everyone and everything around us.
Research shows that neither method is ideal. Bottling up your anger can make it worse and can increase stress and anxiety. Venting your anger, on the other hand, can intensify your feelings and damage relationships with those around you.
So, what can you do?
One way to temporarily cool your jets is to practice steadying your breathing and counting or repeating a mantra in your head. Once you’ve gained control, assess the current situation that’s making you angry and LOOK FOR THE GOOD in it. Even terrible situations have silver linings. Take the story at the beginning of this blog post:
- Even though traffic was slow, you didn’t get in an accident and your car is running just fine
- Even though your boss gave you a pile of work, you are employed and capable. You are a problem-solver and can either figure out how to do the work or talk with your boss and negotiate.
- Even though you burned your mouth and spilled coffee on your shirt, it’s great that you have access to coffee and have the means to purchase a shirt. You’re luckier than many people out there.
See? If you dig into your frustrations, you can find bits of goodness embedded in them.
Another tactic you can utilize is practicing empathy. If other people are causing you to get angry, ask yourself why that might be. Put yourself in their shoes and consider if they are being a pain in the neck because they’re going through a rough patch. It could be that something terrible is happening in their lives that you’re not aware of. Before you combat anger with anger, take a moment to find compassion. Ask questions (if you feel comfortable doing so) and aim for understanding.
You can get a handle on anger. As researcher Albert Ellis said, “You don’t get frustrated because of events, you get frustrated because of your beliefs.” Work on your belief system. Believe that the world is not out to get you. Believe there is always something positive embedded in the negative. Your thinking can change your life.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: anger the right way, conscious anger, controlled anger, empathy at work, good embedded in bad, Margaret Smith UXL, mindful anger, silver lining at work, the right way to get angry, UXL career coaching
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- Posted under Changing Your Life, Communication, Personal Branding, Thrive at Work
February 15, 2017 10 Diplomatic Ways to Say NO
It’s easy to say yes.
“Yes, I can take on that project!”
“Yes, I’ll have that to you by next week!”
“Yes, I’ll add another client to my list!”
While it’s great to be agreeable, there is a limit. When you’re bogged down with commitments and your work-life balance is suffering, it’s time to put on the brakes and start saying no. Do it for your mental and emotional health. Do it in order to be true to yourself (in other words, don’t take on projects that do not align with your skills and interests). Do it to set boundaries and stop others from taking advantage of you.
But do it right.
Below are 10 diplomatic ways to say no. Practice reading them aloud in front of a mirror until they become natural.
“Thank you for the opportunity, but my schedule is packed.”
“I know you would like my help with __________, but I won’t be able to do so unless/until __________.”
“I wish I could, but as a rule I don’t __________.”
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I have other commitments.”
“I’m really not the best fit for __________. Have you tried talking with ? That sounds right up his/her alley.”
“I appreciate you coming to me with this opportunity. Unfortunately, I have too much on my plate right now to take it on.”
“I would like to say yes, but I don’t have time to do this project justice right now.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m only taking on work related to _________ right now.”
“I’d like to help you, but my schedule won’t allow any new projects.”
“Thanks for asking, but I really can’t.
Use these responses to help you take control of your time and schedule. It takes courage, but you’ll thank yourself later if you decide to decline a project that doesn’t align with your values and priorities.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: creatively say no, diplomatic ways to say no, job help minneapolis, Just say no, margaret smith career coach, Minneapolis career coach, reduce stress, saying no, work-life balance
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- Posted under Better Business, Changing Your Life, Communication, Leadership
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