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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Communication

April 13, 2022 The Courage to Ask for What You Want

With the release of my new eBook (A Quick Guide to Courage), I’m writing a series of blog posts about courage this month. Enjoy!

Not long ago, I met with a coaching client who was pretty sure she was going to lose her job. Her company had been losing business lately, and they were beginning to lay people off at all levels of the organization. She was fairly high up on the company’s org chart, but she knew cuts were being made in her department. So, she began preparing for the worst.

As part of her preparations, we talked about leveraging her severance package. Leaving a company can feel awkward, and many people are tempted to scoot out the door as quickly as possible!

However, it is actually the perfect time to be bold in your negotiations.

After all, what do you have to lose?

My coaching client and I talked about five things she could ask for in her severance package, including funds for outplacement coaching, healthcare benefits for several months, and a payout for her accumulated paid time off (PTO). We roleplayed the scenario, and my client was able to practice her asks.

Even though this is an intimidating and uncomfortable situation for many people, preparation and practice can help boost your confidence and give you that extra shot of courage you might need. To me, preparation is one of the most important aspects of the 5 P’s of Courage, since it can help you anticipate possible scenarios and consider ways to deal with them.

Another way to boost your confidence in a nerve-wracking situation such as this one is to come up with a positive, affirming mantra and repeat it to yourself whenever you’re feeling timid or unsure of yourself.

This mantra should be short and empowering, such as:

  • I am worthy and deserve respect.
  • My ideas are important and my thoughts are valuable.
  • I deserve a place at the table.
  • I am strong, confident, and my voice will be heard.

You could also ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could happen?” I address this question in a recent blog post (read more about it HERE), and encourage people to use their imaginations to picture both the worst-case and best-case scenarios. Then, think about the scenario that is most likely, which will probably land somewhere in the middle of worst-case and best-case.

Not long after I worked with my client on her severance package asks, another person approached me with a similar situation…except she had already been presented with a severance package and had not negotiated the terms. She had been too shocked and unprepared to do so. This upset her, because she knew she deserved a better package than what her company had offered.

I asked her, “Why don’t you call up the leadership team and ask to renegotiate?”

“I couldn’t,” she said. “What’s done is done.”

“Maybe so, but maybe not,” I said. “What’s the worst that could happen if you picked up the phone and simply asked?”

Reluctantly, she agreed that nothing catastrophic would happen by asking for what she wanted. After going over the items she wanted to add to the severance package, she made her phone call. And, guess what? Her company agreed to her requests!

Through preparation and reframing the situation (What’s the worst that could happen?), she had the courage to ask for what she wanted. And you can do the same.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

Her new eBook is called A Quick Guide to Courage
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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December 22, 2021 A Message of Unity

The holiday season is a time of year that can highlight friendships and kinship. It’s a time to give thanks, reflect on the year, and think about the road ahead. It’s a time to rekindle bonds and enjoy each other’s company. Even if the holidays aren’t perfect (arguments happen, stress doesn’t magically disappear), they can be a reminder of the potential good in the world—a reminder that we can sit at the same table with a variety of people and hold a civil conversation.

Too often, we look for differences. We divide ourselves into groups and see some people as “outsiders.” We declare that we could never be friends with someone who believes X or supports Y. This way of thinking is pervasive these days, with the country deeply divided on matters of politics, human rights, and beliefs. It almost seems unreconcilable.

But what if we decided to search for common bonds, instead of the aspects that divide us?

What if we sought connections, instead of looking for excuses to dismiss someone outright?

I have found that I can hold a conversation with just about anyone, if I simply look for common connections. Everyone has something (or multiple somethings) they care about—their family, their dog, gardening, playing golf, traveling, their career. Maybe you share some of those interests, too. Or maybe you’re interested in learning more about them. Even if you don’t see eye to eye on everything, I’m certain you can still find some common link (even if it’s as simple as enjoying pizza or reality TV!).

I’m not advocating for leaving your strongly held beliefs behind. Of course not. And sometimes differences are so vast that it can be difficult to interact with certain people. But what I am saying is that, in my experience, most human beings do not want to do each other harm. Most of us simply want to make a decent living, enjoy our time with family and friends, and live and let live.

So, this holiday season, let us do our best to build bridges instead of walls. Let’s reach out to others, make connections, and attempt to see the humanity in all. And once the holidays draw to a close, why not keep up this bridge-building mentality? Why not keep the spirit of unity alive throughout the rest of the year? The world would likely be a better place if we did.

Happy holidays.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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December 8, 2021 5 Crucial Traits of a Great Manager

It is possible to be a good manager if you simply go through the motions, do your work, and field any issues that crop up. But what distinguishes a good manager from a great one? How can you step up your leadership game so that people see you as a trustworthy role model and a motivator?

There are a few crucial traits that separate good and great managers. If you feel that some of these traits are underdeveloped, that’s okay! It is possible to consciously work on these areas to grow and improve your leadership.

Here are 5 crucial traits of great managers:

1. They are excellent listeners

A good listener is an active listener. They pay attention when others are talking—not just to the words, but also to tone of voice, vocal inflections, and facial expressions. An active listener maintains an open mind and asks good questions. They are curious and genuinely want to understand the speaker’s point of view.

Active listening demonstrates that you care. You don’t brush aside others’ perspectives; rather, you open yourself to new ideas, opinions, and viewpoints. You take a genuine interest in what others have to say, and then apply what you’ve learned. Great managers truly listen.

2. They set clear expectations

Top managers are usually excellent communicators. Their expectations are never a mystery because they clearly and openly communicate with their team. As a manager, it is important to articulate goals, set deadlines, and deliver any relevant information. It is also important to hold everyone accountable for their work. If expectations are not met, it is up to the manager to find out why and either re-strategize or (in some cases) enact consequences.

3. They involve their team

Great managers understand that they do not have all the answers. They also understand that it is imperative to engage their team every step of the way. If a team is highly involved in a project (from initiation to implementation), they will have a personal stake in the project’s success. Additionally, this kind of involvement keeps people active and motivated.

As a manager, be sure to invite all thoughts and ideas when you’re embarking on a new project. Innovation is only possible if we dare to listen to a diverse array of voices. As long as the goals are clear, trust your team to define their own path.

4. They are adaptable

Businesses and markets can change in the blink of an eye. A capable manager rolls with the punches and isn’t afraid to change course. If something isn’t working—or if it’s clear that the company needs to head in a different direction—dare to confront the problems at hand and make changes. You do not, of course, have to re-strategize on your own. That’s where your team can come into play (see point 3!)

5. They foster trust

No one likes a micro-manager. No one thrives when they feel like their superior is constantly looking over their shoulder, monitoring their every move. Dare to take a step back and give your team some breathing room! As long as you set clear expectations and create a culture of accountability, does it really matter what your employees do on a given day? If someone consistently produces quality work, does it matter if they head to the gym for an hour each afternoon? (Incidentally, taking meaningful breaks can actually boost productivity!). If your team is engaged, making good progress (which you can track through reports or regular meetings), and regularly producing good results, then it’s wise to take a step back and let the little things go.

Another aspect of trust has to do with holding regular one-on-one check-ins with your team members. These check-ins can be used to gauge progress, but their primary purpose should be to get to know your team, listen to their thoughts or grievances, and offer whatever support you can. Encourage an open dialogue, and make sure to keep any personal information strictly confidential. Trust might not happen overnight, but with each conversation and each action that shows you care, you will build it.

There is a definite line between good managers and great ones. Do you need to develop some of the 5 traits of a great manager? If so, pick one area and focus on that for the next month. Then, pick another area to develop, then another. The most important aspect of becoming a better manager is YOU and the honest effort you make to improve and connect with your team.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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