Category Archives: Communication
October 8, 2025 Why to Promote Positive Gossip
Office gossip can be a problem. If people are constantly belittling or criticizing others behind their backs, that can lead to a toxic and unwelcoming environment. No one wants to feel as if they have to constantly be on guard around their co-workers, lest they become the next subject of the workplace rumor mill. As a leader, your first inclination might be to shut down office gossip entirely. But what if I told you that might not be the best approach?
It’s Tough to Battle Human Nature
Human beings are naturally social creatures, and it’s exceedingly difficult to fully shut down the gossip pipeline. Our tendency to talk about others is part of what makes us human. We like to be kept in the loop, hear the latest news, and be part of the circle that’s “in the know.”
This can be especially true for those who are more social and extroverted. Their dynamics with other people are part of their core identity, and it’s important to be part of the office “connective tissue.” Looking at this through an Insights® Discovery lens, these individuals may lead with yellow or red energy. These two personality types are defined by extroversion, overt communication, and relationships with others (often more collaborative for “yellow energy” folks and more hierarchal for “red energy” folks).
For many offices, with their wide array of personalities and tendencies, stopping gossip and chitchat is like trying to dam a roaring river with only a few sticks. Rather than fight human nature, it is a good idea to try a different approach.
Promoting Positive Gossip
Rather than prohibit gossip, full stop, it’s possible to approach gossip differently. If people are going to talk about each other no matter what, why not put a positive spin on it? Encourage the good kind of gossip—the kind that compliments and uplifts others, and praises their actions.
The easiest and most natural way to promote this type of gossip is to model it. When you encounter a team member in the hallway or are having a one-on-one conversation on Zoom, throw in a compliment or two about other teammates:
“It’s a good thing Marissa is so on top of deadlines. That’s really helping us reach our client goals this quarter.”
“Ari is so creative. Did you hear his ideas in the last brainstorming session?”
“Juana is working so hard lately, even though I know she’s juggling work with childcare.”
When you bring up these types of compliments, make sure they naturally fit the flow of the conversation and come across as sincere. Make them part of your everyday discussions, and soon they will become second nature.
The other part of this effort is flipping negative gossip into positive statements. If, for example, someone complains about Juana missing the last deadline, you might say, “That is frustrating. However, I’ve talked with her and I know she’s juggling childcare with work. Because of that, she is working harder than ever lately, which is pretty admirable.” It’s possible to turn an office that engages in negative gossip into one that emphasizes the positive. Take it one conversation at a time, making sure you’re modeling the type of behavior you want your team to embody. After all, the river of gossip may want to keep flowing, but you can direct it into more positive territory, rather than attempting to stop it completely.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: margaret smith leadership, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, promote positive office gossip, turn gossip positive, workplace positive gossip, workplace rumor mill
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- Posted under Better Business, Communication, Teamwork
September 10, 2025 When Inviting Disagreement is a Good Thing
Leaders are taught to be confident and in charge. These can be great attributes, and it certainly doesn’t serve to be timid or self-conscious, but it’s possible to take these traits to an extreme. When that happens, the leader can inadvertently shut down others, which can stifle innovation and creativity, as well as decrease morale.
It may seem strange to welcome disagreement as a leader. After all, who likes to argue? But this is really just another way of saying that discussion, input, and alternative perspectives are welcome. A leader might think they’re being strong and efficient by putting forth a single plan and instructing their team on how to follow it. But in truth, they are closing the door on collaboration.
When teams collaborate to create a solution or come up with a plan, a few things happen. First, more voices are heard right away, which increases the chance of greater innovation and ingenuity. Additionally, when groups can have open discussions, they’re more likely to troubleshoot and catch potential problems before they even occur. And once a plan is agreed on, the team has more buy-in than they would if they simply had been handed a plan by the team leader.
- How can you facilitate discussion and encourage productive disagreement? Open the floor by using statements that welcome collaborative planning.
- Our annual budget is due next week. I was ready to make the same suggestions as last year, but I’d like your input on this. What haven’t I considered?
- The holiday party is coming up. What would your ideal event look like?
- We’re trying to tap into new customer markets. Instead of using the same methods, I’d love to hear your perspectives and ideas on what we could be doing.
Additionally, if you do decide to state your opinion or perspective, make it clear that you’re open to other options. Use phrases like:
- I welcome your input
- What do others think?
- What haven’t I thought of?
- Is there any aspect of this that doesn’t make sense?
- What improvements or alternatives would you suggest?
Then, make sure you are truly listening to suggestions and open to other viewpoints and ideas.
Leadership involves a certain amount of confidence, but that doesn’t mean bulldozing your team with set ideas and rigid agendas. The most effective leaders open the floor for discussion and respect all ideas, even allowing room for disagreement.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: how to have a productive discussion, Inviting disagreement as a leader, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, opening floor for discussion, productive disagreement
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- Posted under Better Business, Communication, Discussions
July 23, 2025 What is Collective Grief? (and how could it be affecting you)
Grief is a complex emotion. Although it is often associated with bereavement and death, it can crop up in several other ways. You can grieve a former job, a house or city where you used to live, or a former lifestyle you once had. The common thread is loss. To make matters more complicated, grief can be a collective experience.
What is Collective Grief?
Collective grief is a term used to describe the sentiment of loss as experienced by a group of people. The group can be quite large (i.e. an entire nation) or smaller (a family or community group). Collective grief is often associated with a major tragedy or difficulty—a natural disaster, war, financial turmoil, a pandemic, etc. This type of upheaval can result in a sense of loss, or the feeling that things will never be the same.
If you are an empathetic person, you do not necessarily have to experience a certain tragedy or its side effects firsthand to go through grief or loss. For example, you might mourn the loss of a city that was decimated by an earthquake, or you may grieve for the families of those who have been jailed or deported. This type of grief isn’t any less valid. It just means you’re human, and you care for your fellow human beings.
Collective grief can be powerful and long-lasting. Furthermore, it’s possible to experience this type of grief without even realizing it.
How Collective Grief Can Show Up in Your Life
When you’ve been affected by an event or a change, your behavior or outlook may be altered, whether subtly or overt. Here are five ways you might manifest collective grief in everyday life:
- Difficulty Concentrating
When you’re enduring grief, you may find your attention wandering or have difficulty focusing on tasks. This can be exacerbated during times of collective grief, as the weight of the situation can feel overwhelming.
- Increased Irritability
Grief can make you feel on edge, causing you to snap at loved ones or co-workers more easily. This short temper may be a way of coping with the underlying emotional turmoil. The important thing is to recognize when you’re behaving irrationally, so you can make a concerted effort to amend this behavior.
- Changes in Sleep or Appetite
You may find yourself sleeping more or less than usual, or experiencing a loss of appetite. These physiological changes are the body’s way of dealing with the stress of grief. Again, awareness is key. If you’re noticing changes in sleep or appetite, it’s a good idea to address these issues head on (possibly with the guidance and support of a professional).
- Decreased Productivity
During periods of collective grief, you may find it harder to complete tasks or maintain your usual level of productivity. This can stem from the emotional and mental drain that comes with processing widespread loss or upheaval. It’s important to be patient with yourself during these times.
- Feeling Hopeless or Downtrodden
When experiencing collective grief, you may find yourself feeling defeated or hopeless, as the magnitude of the situation can feel overwhelming. This sense of despair can make it difficult to see a path forward. It’s important to remember that these feelings are a natural response to loss and change, and that with time and self-compassion, they will eventually subside.
The experience of collective grief can be isolating, as the loss or upheaval may be felt by a large group, yet each person’s individual response can vary. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are a natural reaction and to seek support from others who may be going through a similar process. By acknowledging the collective nature of the grief, individuals can find solace in the shared experience and work towards healing together. Reaching out to a mental health professional or joining a support group can provide valuable tools for navigating the complexities of collective grief.
Tags: Collective grief and its effects, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith professional speaker, overcoming collective grief, recognizing affect of collective grief, what is collective grief
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Communication, Discussions
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